Wednesday, December 23, 2009

What is up with Peru?¿?¿

As I painstakingly type out this blog on a crazy keyboard, I can´t helo but ask myself,¨¨¿Why do they even need all these extra buttons?.¨ like this one: ñ. and this one: ¬ . And all the punctuation keys are scattered haphazardly around the keyboard. ç and that one.

anyway

WE made it to Peru. Just a quick note, if LA is anything like it´s airport, I hope it falls into the ocean. It´s crap tastic and ghetto and nutty. I felt like I´d already arrived in S America if you know what I mean... ç (couldn´t help myself).
That brings me to my next point. Colombia is hot. And the airport also is pretty ghetto. And I have reached a new level of hatred for lines. The only difference between airports in S. America and N. America is that people actually listen to and honor the boarding prioty of the flights. In S. America, as soon as the door opens, everyone surges forth to try and get in (like there´s not going to be enough room... dumb) which leaves the people who listen having to pull all kinds of shinanigans to fit carry-ons in pver head bins.
Anyway
Things that I saw my first day back, that made me chuckle and remember:
Crazy, CRAZY F¿çÑing driving.
Stray dogs, EVERYWHERE!
Lots of exhuast fumes.
VERY PUBLIC BREAST FEEDING... :)(just kidding)
Passed out drunk.
Ads on everything.
Porn all over.

And much much more. But to keep this short, I´ve been running all over since I got here. BYU won the Bowl game so I was happy, though bitter I didn´t see it. and there is one store that is like a wal mart here in this city of over a million people and we went there today. Bloody pandamonium. I´ve never doe the black friday thing, but I suppose this is what it would be like. Except for large green (that´s right, green) Santa Clause costumed dudes and this scary carney looking lady on stilts with a top hat and mask all tricked out in about 10 pounds of glitter. I will keep my adventures well chronicled, do not fear, and woon will be throwing pictures up.
Until later, I am going to eat some chocolate.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

The ramble.

Sorry for nothing written during November. Lets have a quick recap: Work, school, Thanksgiving, delicious apple crisp, Joe’s one year older, purchased a nice camera, more work, more school, and…. well, that’s pretty much it.

I’d like to say that I am all gung ho to finish the semester and study hard, but I am burned out. I can’t wait to beat a hasty path to Peru.

For those of you who don’t know, I am going to Peru for four months. My wife and I will fly out on the 20th. I will be receiving 13 credit hours for the things that I am going to be doing. There will also be the latin version of our wedding reception, which should be interesting. A few members of the Chilean family are planning on heading up. Recently there has been a reawakening of some friction between Peru and Chile due to a spy problem. You can read more about this by typing it into the search bar and looking for it (what, did you think I was going to put in a nice fancy hyperlink to make your incredibly easy media consumption experience even more effortless? … HA!) I can already foresee a little drinking ... maybe something crazy will occur. I hope not.

I am writing this at work, and it is 5:11 am. I find that at this hour, I feel like everything takes on a surreal quality and I feel like I am in a dream. Well, a really crappy dream in which my contacts are incredibly dry and I feel like I’m floating outside my own body. But as I sit here, I realize that I only have five more days left. I have worked longer here than anywhere else to date, more than a year straight and I am ready for a break. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great job and it has served me well; but I am tired of being tired. I hope I will be able to come back here when I return, as it is a great place to do homework.

If you need my input about the BYU v UofU football game, or any Mountain West football for that matter, click the Red/Blue football analysis link on the right.

Here’s a list of funny cartoons:
Family Guy, Simpsons, South Park, Robot Chicken, Boondocks, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, The Venture Brothers, Clone High, Daria, Spy Groove, Beevis and Butthead (funnyish), American Dad, The Brak Show and Space Ghost.

One word for every blogger friend:
Politicchic: Smug
Simsisms: Sharp
Joe: Occupied
Utefan: Slouch
Smasherdasher: Mechanic
The Wicked Rage: Con
Kittykat: Unbalanced
Smithfieldman: Overlooked

There is really nothing more to report.
I considered gracing you all with a poem or something, but even in my delirious state, I know that any poem I would write right now would be crap. So … Until next time?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Charity is fun. You should try it.

Basically, life is good right now. The semester to be spent in Peru will not only be fun, but highly profitable academically. My work for the Universe is rife with perks and I don't mind the deadlines. Midterms went fairly smoothly.
Interesting things lately besides going to the drubbing we received from TCU.
1) Took Cheek and his friends out to see Ice Age 3 and gave them a dinner of lasagna and kool-aid.
This can be viewed below. Cheeks friends are named: Shane, Chuck and Servando. They are good guys and if you had ever been to Mesa Vista, you would understand that they appreciate every chance they have to get out for a while. I wish I had the money to start a high functioning living center somewhere in the valley. One day perhaps.
Another activity that I participated in was a benefit concert for Hannah Laursen, an awesome little girl who had a brain tumor.
The full story and a special audio slide show I made for them can be found at the following link:
http://universe.byu.edu/node/3384

For last nights performance, JR Richards was great and I especially liked the campfire acoustic style of the concert. Melody with Tyler Forsberg also did a great job. All in all, I was as impressed with the charity demonstrated by the community and musicians as I was with the steak and chicken dinner Malu and I were treated to as VIP guests. Neil Warner over at the Herald is a really good guy and I admire what he's doing. For more info about that, check this link out:
http://www.secondchancefoundationofutah.com/

In the following pictures, you can see Hannah, JR, Me, Malu, and the Dad (Craig), the Mom (Leigh)and the other sisters.






Wednesday, October 14, 2009

This one's for Big Steve.

I wrote this for a class, but it is just soapbox enough to appeal to my dad, so here goes:

Obama’s Immigration Reform.

When a child hits another child, it doesn’t make sense to punish the aggressor. Unless of course, you live in the world of President Obama’s immigration reform.
In essence, Obama’s immigration reform policy consists of two parts: Punish companies who employ illegal immigrants, and provide a way for illegal immigrants to obtain citizenship. This was said by Obama on an ABC forum for the Democrat Primary in January 4, 2008.
A big question for everyone, but one the left must wake up to.
The biggest issue that many Americans have is this, “Why are we going to attack the foundational industries of our country while at the same time rewarding a large body of illegal immigrants whose very presence have damaged the economic security of the nation?” This question is equally distressing for people all across the political spectrum, particularly for those Latinos and Hispanics who previously supported President Obama and are now seeing potential places of employment turned against them by political witch hunting.
There is a superb example of this in the recent forces lay-off of 1,800 employees of the company American Apparel. Obama’s promise was to seek out and punish particularly those companies that abuse and exploit illegal immigrants, yet American Apparel is known for providing higher wages and even health benefits. In a column for the New York Times Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa called it “devastating
“A crackdown that forces 1,800 taxpaying would-be Americans into joblessness in a dismal economy is a law-enforcement victory only in the bitterest, narrowest sense’ “Villaraigosa said. “As a solution to the problem of unauthorized workers — 1,800 down, millions to go — it’s ludicrous.”
Oxmoronic Policies.
While defendants of the immigration actions may state that without potential jobs, there would be decreased incentive for illegal immigration and thus decreased numbers of illegal immigrants, they are living in a fantasy world. To state in one sentence that you plan to take someone’s job and in the next sentence promise citizenship and access to all of the social support programs that go with citizenship is stark insanity. Unless of course the desired end result is to have the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants transfer directly to poor, uneducated welfare recipients. It doesn’t take much stretch of imagination to see this being the case. How this is going to mitigate our country's already staggering problems with healthcare, unemployment and crime, is a mystery that only President Obama seems to understand.
Important system flaws to consider.
To emphasis the sheer inadequacy of the reform, Mitch Plowman, a man who works as a detailer for a Utah structural steel company has an interesting tale to relate.
Several months ago, the company for which he worked was raided by around 200 law enforcement personnel from various organizations such as ICE and the Sheriff’s Department.
“They rounded up all the migrant workers and were really unorganized and unprofessional,” Plowman said. “They even asked everyone who was an illegal worker to raise their hand.”
After removing 50 workers who were unable to produce papers at the time proving legal residence, the people who organized the raid released a gleaming statistic to the press that 50 illegal workers had been found at the company, seriously tarnishing the company’s public image.
But it gets more convoluted.
After reviewing the detained workers, it was found that all but five were legal to work. And the reform stumbled even further after this discovery.
“Instead of deporting the five like they were supposed too, they [the authorities] encouraged them to stay in the area and to get jobs so that they could testify against us… all because they had no case,” Plowman said. “The interesting thing is that the department that the state uses to check legality of workers is backed up about two years. We send off the paperwork, and then… nothing. And if we don’t hire them, then it becomes discrimination, so it’s a strange situation.”
Hmmm…
So in response to the question on whether we should punish vital industry for our economy and reward those that broke the law with citizenship, the answer is that we shouldn’t. The truth is that this reform policy is fractured and can only provide one result: millions of class B citizens that are spoon fed liberal rhetoric and who must desperately cling to and support Democratic Party influence to survive.
Hey, in this light, President Obama’s plan is genius… but not for American interests.



*Note, while Obama has not proposed any official policy to date, this was the course he recommended in his campaign rhetoric. On another note, high five for the Nobel Prize... psyche.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

100 Songs you should get familiar with...

100 songs that I really LOVE. Not ranked in order. This will give you an idea about how really messed up my musical tastes really are.
Here goes:
1) Sultans of Swing- Dire Straits
2) M79- Vampire Weekend
3) Nigga Nature-Tupac (Interesting side note, he was named after a famous Incan Tupac Amaru; his mom heard the name and gave it. Crazy. When I first got to my mission, there was the Tupac Park and I thought that for some reason they just really liked rap there)
4) Hit em High, Hit em Low- JT Money
5) Sierra Leone- Kanye West
6) D-I-E 4 Y-O-U – Family Force Five
7) Hey There Delilah- Plain White T’s
8) Cannonball- Damien Rice
9) Zombie Nation- Kernkraft
10) Tonight, Tonight- Smashing Pumkins
11) Album of the Year- The Good Life
12) Angels or Devils- Dishwalla
13) Dagostoni Tae (Mai ee Mai oo)- O-zone
14) Cabron- Red Hot Chili Peppers
15) While my Guitar Gently Weeps- George Harrison/Beatles
16) You Don’t Know Me- Ben Folds/Regina Spektor
17) Crazy- Gnarls Barkley
18) Burn One Down- Ben Harper
19) Flake- Jack Johnson
20) Boten Ana- Basshunter
21) I’m an Alchoholic- Xzibit
22) High Road- Fort Minor
23) Layla- Eric Clapton (and whatever his band was called)
24) My Name Is Jonas- Weezer (But lets be honest, I could take the next 10-15 slots and fill them with Weezer, same with Jack Johnson, and even Basshunter)
25) The Next Episode- Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg/Nate Dogg (I’m a sucker for anything that has Nate Dogg on it)
26) Killing Me Softly With His Song- The Fugees
27) Total Eclipse of the Heart- Bonnie Tyler (Especially the techno version.)
28) These Words- Natasha Bedingfield
29) Shut Up- Black Eyed Peas
30) Hey Baby Club Mix- Dj Otzi
31) One Fifty One Rum- Caribou Lou
32) Five Brothers- Marty Robbins
33) Asi Fue- Orishas
34) In the Shadows- The Rasmus
35) Bonita- Jarebe de Palo
36) California Dreaming- Mamas and the Papas (The techno version is really awesome aswell)
37) The Floor- Rooney
38) Walk Don’t Run- The Ventures
39) Bad Luck by Design- Brand New
40) Art is Hard- Cursive
41) Recluse- Cursive (I know, two from Cursive, but I can’t separate them)
42) Driftwood- Travis
43) SOS- Rihanna
44) With Eyes Closed- Kalai (If you don’t have Damien Rice and Kalai on your IPOD...you need to get it)
45) Lock and Key- Mason Pepper
46) Follow Through- Gavin Degraw
47) Won’t Back Down- Tom Petty
48) Hit em’ up Style- Blu Cantrell
49) I Believe in a thing Called Love- The Darkness
50) Solitary Man- Neil Diamond
51) Stayin Alive- Bee Gees
52) Disco Ball World- David Garza
53) Lake Pontchartrain- Ludo (Thanks Rage, this was a good snag, although I like their acoustic version better and don’t have it)
54) Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (a man after midnight)- ABBA ( I like Madonna’s rip off too but ABBA IS GREAT)
55) Otta Control- 50 Cent ( I LOVE 50, but my favorite string of vocals of his is one where he records to Eminem’s “Till I Collapse”; check that our)
56) Rap Game- G Unit/ D12
57) Man in Black- Jonny Cash (Or Folsom Prison, sorry, can’t hide my love for this guy. Also his cover of Hurt= Priceless)
58) Kalamazoo- Primus
59) No One- Alicia Keys
60) The City is at War- Cobra Starship
61) Time is Running Out- Muse (Honestly, my favorite band. Next thirty spots to them if I had to.)
62) Young and Proud- Ace of Base
63) Under Pressure- Queen (Can’t even begin with Queen, but suffice it to say they are great)
64) Runnin Scared- Roy Orbinson
65) El Condor Pasa- Huayanay (Or by Bamboo Peru, he’s awesome)
66) Intergalactic- Beastie Boys (Video Sabotage… We all love it)
67) Funks Your Brother- Fatboy Slim
68) Good Vibrations- Beach Boys
69) Moment of Clarity- Jay Z
70) Sound of Silence- Simon and Garfunkel
71) Cupid- Pistolita.
72) Llueve Sobre La Ciudad- Los Bunkers
73) Hospital Beds- Cold War Kids
74) In Keeping the Secrets of Middle Earth- Coheed and Cambria
75) La Camisa Negra- Juanes
76) Die Alone- Ingred Michelson
77) Time Running- Tegan and Sara
78) I Know You Want Me- Pitbull/ Calle Ocho
79) I Hope You Die- Bloodhound Gang (Love these guys)
80) Colorado Sunrise- 3OH3! (These Guys too. In fact, for Bloodhound Gang and 3OH3! I invented a genre of music for my Itunes, I call it: Electrocrunk)
81) Bowl of Oranges- Bright Eyes
82) Pa’ Bailar (Siempre Quiero Mas)- Julieta Venegas/ Bajofondo
83) Beautiful People- Marilyn Manson
84) Sweet Dreams/Get This Party Started (dance mix) – Busta Rhymes / Pink
85) Frijolero- Molotov
86) Brick in the Wall- Pink Floyd
87) In the End- Linkin Park (Lots of good stuff there, but no time or room)
88) Turn the Beat Around- Vickie Sue Robinson
89) Lets Go- Trick Daddy
90) Look What You’ve Done- Jet
91) Como Hago Ahora- Eddie Herrera
92) Don’t Stop Believing- Journey
93) Gangster’s Paradise- Coolio
94) Eleanor Rugby- Godhead (I love the Beatles version too, but this is good for anger)
95) Sway (techno version) - Pussycat Dolls (Spanish original is good also Micheal Buble’s version)
96) Authority Song- Jimmy Eat World
97) El Santo Grial- Mago De Oz (Heavy metal spaniards. There is a wicked riff that covers a Hungarian folk Song. Verdict: ROCK)
98) Baby Got Back- Sir Mix-a-Lot
99) Fools Rush In- Elvis Presley
100) They Don’t Really Care About Us- Michael Jackson

Wow. This is a good list. I could go to 500 easily enough I think. Surely 250 without too much difficulty. But I will stop now as I am sure you are bored with this thread. I would encourage all who read to pick your three faves FROM THIS LIST and post them as comments. I’d be interested to know.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I just ate beef stew.

Yep. It's true. And I really enjoyed it. Washed it down with a glass of grape juice from concentrate, and ate some bread. Life is just too busy these days. I feel like I can't be my normal happy go lucky, carefree self. I am glad that one of my jobs is about toast. Although I have been barely showing up there at all since I started school. The dance group is probably not going to see much of us either from here on out. One because we are so busy, another because they are not so cool.
Classes.
17 credit hours. My most enjoyable class? Photojournalism. Time consuming? Newswriting. Most asinine class? Media Law. But that's mostly because the Professor is driving me bloody mad. She is annoying and entirely to clownish for my tastes. Plus I feel like I am a jury she is rambling to.
Bang. Too much fun. I think I am addicted to it. Last night I got some banging in and some super inappropriate comments. Asher was there, along with new guy Nick. And Michele and Alan and Malu of course. It was great, Asher even brought floats. For those of you who are unfamiliar with bang, it is a card game that is something like "Murder in the Dark" and the Old West. Good times.
Anywho, I need to get on with my duties, later.


http://dugoog1.byu.edu/search?q=jason+sweat&ud=1&sort=date%3AD%3AS%3Ad1&output=xml_no_dtd&oe=UTF-8&ie=UTF-8&client=default_frontend&proxystylesheet=default_frontend&go=

PS. Click the above link to check out what I have been up to at the DU for the last 3 weeks.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Moving: Oh how I hate thee.

Well, there comes a time in every man’s life when he must pack up all his crap and move. Let’s just say that this sucks. Every one knows what I am talking about here. First you have to box up your stuff. This his were you realize that your mental projections of how much stuff you have was ridiculously short of reality. There are things like bathroom supplies and cleaning stuff and your clothes. Snowboards, electronics, furniture… Then you need a way to move it. In our case, an old purple power stroke that was resurrected after being dead for over two years to just barely make the move and then died again. Then you have to carry all you of your garbage in and out, out and in. Just a note, this is a bad time to fall out of a tree, which I did, and injure your lower back. This makes moving just that much worse. There is more to the story of course. After you move you things into the new apartment, it’s a long ordeal to place them in their respective areas. And then you find that BYU housing is OLD and CRAPPY and only provides one cable outlet by way of internet. Than you have to clean your old apartment. All of this can make life a drag for a few weeks. But hey, at least Now our house has less spiders.
Anyway, I work all the time, I dance on my spare time with Malu. That’s all I got.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

28 de Julio= I wore a dress and danced in front of a lot of Peruvians

Here is what we were up to on the 24th of July. Aside from dominating in the morning at volley ball and horse shoes at the Sweat family reunion, we went and danced at two places in Salt Lake. The Peruvian Independence day fell on a Tuesday and that was lame for all of the Peruvian people here so all of the celebrations went down on Pioneer Day. This video has all of our dances, but the first two we danced again at the second place and better. At about seven and a half minutes, you can see me in drag:). Honestly though, the dance is from Cuzco, called Turkuy. This dance has the skirt and such because the Peruvians somehow found out about the Spain/Turk conflicts and decided to implement some of the Turkish dance trappings to tick of the Spanish in Peru. -The enemy of my enemy is my friend- Anyway. Enjoy.


Monday, July 20, 2009

It's hot, and I have no AC.


Last week:
Camping
New Job, Water Reclamation
Wake boarding
Peruvian dance practice
Lots of Driving.

The Funny pic is just to make this post less lame.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Clothes

Today my wife got mad at me. This isn’t terribly uncommon, or surprising. I am juvenile and impossible most of the time. But, today she was mad at something that surprised me. Apparently, I am too practical. She told me that I dress like a bum, and that sometimes I am an embarrassing eyesore. Of course she didn’t put it like that, that is something I’d say, but that was the gist of it. I was disturbed at this thought, then determined to argue. Unfortunately, she is right. Politicchic will no doubt whole heartedly back this up. I was in denial for a while, but when we got back to our house, we went through all of my clothes and I have to admit, I’m a poorly dressed hobo. My two newest t-shirts Malu brought to me from Peru. Before that, two shirts that my sister sent to me on my mission. Oh, and one “Lucky to by Irish” shirt my brother gave me for Christmas. I’m not Irish. Where did all my clothes come from? Gifts, plays, yard sales, DI, and just random free ones. I have not bought a new shirt since the Oscar the Grouch and Slacker t-shirts that I bought when I was 14 or 15. I got some shorts from that time period as well. I bought a pair of pants at Mervyns (SP?) when it went under because they were cheap. My sister bought me a pair just because she felt as my wife does. Got a pair for Christmas from my mother. Tis a sad state. As I was explaining to Malu how I had aquired all of my clothes, and hats, I realized that I am a bum. I don’t care about clothes. I am happy not being naked, but I really don’t have a style, except scruffy. That’s a word for me. Scruffy. I have found clothes in apartments that I have moved into that I have kept because I like them. I have and use t-shirts that I got for being in plays when I was in 8th grade. Sad. I remember the Kenya Breweries t-shirt that my sister made me chuck because you could see through it. Also the Blue Nike t-shirt that was too big for me in seventh grade and finally met it’s demise after the mission looking like a holey muscle shirt. Or how about the green shants that were made of parachute nylon and finally ripped all the way up the backside? Or my tough green shants that I currently am wearing as I write this, though the fade and worn areas render them mostly tan? I get attached to my clothes and I’m cheap, that’s all I can say. Sorry. I really am. It’s just a tribute to my not really being concerned about other people’s perceptions. But alas, there is a person who’s perceptions I cannot ignore, and therefore: the light blue Nike hat, the Pink Floyd baseball T, the Oscar t-shirt, all the flannel, the Duchesne Eagle muscle shirt, the Music Man, the long sleeved red shirt, the slip on black shoes, the gray hat, the Old School Denver Broncos t-shirt, the green and white baseball T and other articles are all being discarded. Some will find their way to DI, some will become rags to clean with, and some will be tossed outright. This was sad for me. I thought Malu was going to have a seizure she was so pleased when she tossed my light blue Nike hat (One of the only 2 fitted hats I have ever bought in my life- the other one Steven stole). I loved that hat. It went golfing with me more than I can recall, and to concerts, and to Peru. Oh well. Maybe now I can become better dressed and more presentable. Maybe one day I will be a snappy dresser like unto, dare I say it, BEN JENSEN? I doubt it. In the last ten years, I have probably spent less than $250 for clothes. Not even Mason Jennings can make me feel better about losing some of my favorite clothes, who I am currently listening to. Next time I will talk of happier things, such as Peruvian dancing and the antics therein. But for now, I’m spilling out some of a proverbial 40 on the ground for my homies that didn’t make it.

Monday, June 15, 2009

These are tributes to my fondest childhood.

Well, you maybe have too much spare time on your hands already. I assume this because you are blogging and lets face it, nobody is doing this as a number one priority item. So, I will not feel bad about recommending these videos for your viewing. The people in the video obviously had more free time than you do now...





Wednesday, June 10, 2009

You know a dude apartment.

Here I sit with Quezada and I am waiting for Malu to get out of driving school. Also, I went to my old apartment While I am here, I noticed several things that make guy apartments dudely.
1) He cooked quesadillas in a pan that had obviously been used for something else, and not been washed. I consider it a tribute to my own dudeliness in that I didn't bat an eye at eating them.
2) There are no hand towels in dude bathrooms. You just have to dry your hands on their personal towels, which probably haven't been washed in months.
3) It is common to find a handful of napkins shoved in the toilet paper holder. Or no toilet paper at all.
4)A large pile of unwashed dishes.
5)A nicer TV than anything else in the apartment, usually with a few new gaming systems.
6) Empty pizza boxes.
7) Like six expired things in the fridge... and nothing else.
8) No warm fuzzy pictures on the wall and no catchy little handycrafts decorating stuff.
9) There is a fouton(sp?) somewhere in the place.
10) The floor is SCUZZY.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

My last name.

Just sitting here, wondering..., "What is the deal with latin people and my last name?" Today in church, Malu and I gave the opening and closing prayers. That was when I was reminded of this issue. Basically, it can be anything than what it is: sweet, shwek, shrek... etc. But never SWEAT. Hmmm. Any ideas?

Friday, May 8, 2009

My late night antics.



Well... I am sure you have already noticed the slide show. I am growing by leaps and bound in my software exploration. Last night I figured out pretty much everything you see above in CS4 Photoshop. I love that program. It is sweet and there will be some more goods to come, I'll tell you what. The first was my rough attempt at figuring out how to recreate the IPOD ads. I thought those were pretty sweet and I have seen some good spoofs, so I figured I would find out if I could do it. Then I got excited and my second attempt with the peeps came out better. As far as the freaky elf looking thing goes, the Rage said it looked scary. And Malu thought they were frightening:). That's about all for now, I will soon be blogging again, about Big Steve, who is now stealthily perusing the blogosphere. His eyes are upon us, so be warned...

Friday, April 24, 2009

Texting.

It has recently came to my attention that I am a sloppy texter. I discovered this because I always use the "word" function to have the cell phone auto complete my words to go faster. Unfortunately, when each key has three letters each, it makes for some accidental (and humorous), potential errors. Some are just annoying. For example: 'me' &'of'. Also: 'go'& 'in'. But recently, I have had some good ones. I sent a text to Joe saying that I had to call my wife. Unfortunately, that is the same key stroke pattern for 'ball'. Yesterday I sent Liberty a text to ask if she and Asher were going to be 'celebrating'. While I don't remember exactly how that one was messed up, I remember that it said something 'ing' and sounded dirty. And here's a good one that the Rage asked me. If anything had ever happened (I forget what) while 'eating' different people... when she meant to say 'dating'. I want to hear all of your funny text bloopers, so get to posting.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The moment.

There is a moment, a moment we all know well, that I am about to describe. This is a moment that I am sure you’ve experienced, a moment that I can only describe as “the climax of impatience”. Now I know that our general run of the mill sleepmuch8 readers will be thinking dirty thoughts based solely on the imagery inspired by the word ‘climax’, but c’mon now, pull it together and focus with me for a second. This is the moment when you are in traffic and the light turns green but the #@#$er in front of you is dosing and doesn’t go. Or, when you are in a hurry and you are hitting all of the red lights. This is the feeling you get when you are reading a particularly crappy book (Twilight) and you just want it to end so you can say you finished one, gave it a fair shot, and still hate it. This is the precise moment when you are in church and a speaker (especially a testimony person that jumped up WAY after it was obvious that the current line was going to be cutting into your Sunday lunch/nap) is over time and weeping and showing no signs of stopping. I find my self chanting “in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!” over and over in my head in hopes that somehow the speaker will be overpowered by my intellect, repeat the words, and be forced to sit down. This also happened a lot on the mission with apostatizing bishops; you have a golden investigator losing desire to know more about the church because of the fools rant and you are powerless to stop it. This is the moment where you need to use the bathroom really bad in the theatre and the movie pretends to end about five times (I’m looking at you Return of the King… did we REALLY need to see the super gay –not that there’s anything wrong with that-hobbit pillow fight?) Or even Mama Mia, where the movie basically sucks and you just wish it would roll into its grave and die already (but there is a whole blog soon to come dedicated to how much I disliked that movie, so never fear, its crimes will not go unnoticed/unpunished). This is the moment where you are engaged in a discussion with someone (or you are being lectured by someone), and you just want them to shut the hell up so you can be on your way. This is the moment when you are waiting for the next shift to come on so you can be relieved, especially if they’re late (this can be really bad when you work grave). This is the moment that I will soon be experiencing, and one that I anticipate will suck, as it has thousands of times before. But there is light at the end of the tunnel friends, do not despair. The last Amen will be uttered, the light will turn green, the jerk will get out of your way, the book/movie will end, and the shift will end. This I promise you. But, you’d all better shape up because I firmly believe hell is driving to the theatre in heavy traffic to get to the huge line to see ‘Twilight’, the movie. Just thinking of that makes me shutter and desire to repent. Till next time, may your moments be brief.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Another post, the Great White Ninja

Another blog. What to post? I am trying to put together posts with more substance, but I just can’t think of anything good. Does this mean that I am indeed substance less? Well if that’s the case… crap. Oh well. I am going to list a few major events that I think maybe have been neglected in the blog world:
1) Michele and Alan are getting hitched. I think that Consuelo will be able to tell people that the Lord really does answer prayers from here on out. The happy occasion is scheduled for April 24th or 25th? I can’t remember.
2) I was accepted into the print journalism program. Unfortunately I was screwed from the get go at the first meeting for the major. Basically, to do new media I was told that I should attend this spring and summer. That’s not going to work, namely because I am a poorly newly-wed and need to work. Fear not though, all will work out; it will just take me a year longer to graduate.
3) Shane moved. I guess that’s important to some.
4) I am thinking of double minoring in Spanish and Latin American Studies. (really taking risks with those.).
5) I just loaded Adobe C4 Master Suite on my computer, and am now realizing that I need how to use it.
6) BLA BLA BLA

All right, enough of that. I drew a ninja in Adobe Illustrator. Hopefully my skill will improve. Anywho, take care and I will try to post at least weekly from now on.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

For whom the bell tolls...




Well, It happened. I thought I would avoid marriage for a long time after the mission (and told several people that I would), but Malu is just too damn cute. I am a happy guy and this picture would have been the most perfect picture ever if my head wasn't cut off. but that's ok, I am not the important part. Thanks Shane for snapping photos. Another lame thing, I got ZERO chocolate fountain goodness. Bummer. Thanks Michele and Rachael, you were right, the apartment would have been lame. Thanks all and later.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Dementally challenged.

I hear that I never blog anything good these days. I also hear that I don’t blog hardly at all. This is all true, and I apologize. SO, to hearken back to the good old day, here we go.

First item of business:

Heroes… meh.
That’s right. I know that I follow this show and no others, but it is just getting silly. I liked first season. Second season was not so hot, and now this last one is just losing me. I know Shane can see no wrong in this series, but I disagree. I don’t want to delve into the whole thing, for those of you yet watching, but I think there are lots of parts where there is just crap thrown in for filler. Stuff out of nowhere that isn’t really needed. (Haitian and his brother part…wtf?). Also, when Seth Green gets involved delivering timely hope inspiring speeches, I just can’t take it seriously anymore.

Twilight… As gay as I feared it would be.
***Disclaimer*** Granted, this book wasn’t exactly written for me, the audience is adolescent girls and I think it plays to them perfectly.
That being said, I started reading book one and I must say, wow. Not ‘wow’ in a ‘oh, how cool!’, but ‘wow’ as in, ‘Oh Lord, O Lord, please give me my wasted life moments back’. If I hear one more description about how coldly beautiful what’s-his-name the teen vampire hunk is I am going to start loving men. That’s unfortunate on the proverbial eve of my heterosexual marriage. I think this book is stupid. Not just because it is a book about high-school-vampire-romance; but also because the bastard sparkles in the sun. I think it is kind of crappy writing as well. Lots of painful mental monologue by the heroine. Speaking of heroine, I think that consumption of such in vast quantities would be the only thing that could make this book bearable for me. I am sad that Stephanie Meyers disappointed me so, especially since she claims she listened to the great band The Muse while she wrote. I kind of hope not, because I love the Muse and I think if she managed to associate herself with them in my mind, they could only stand to go down a rung in my book. So how do you become a wealthy author in this day in age?, think of a way to bring little emo f-nuts, hot topic, and adolescent vampires together in one glorious suckfest.

Bests and Worst…
This should be extensive since it was my first complete year following my mission, but sadly, not so much. I can’t remember much about it. So instead of the typical movies, books, etc. I will throw out some goods and some not so good’s.
Goods:
Malu: Everything, especially the Peru Proposal Trip of June 08.
Discovering good new music, such as Diego’s Umbrella: I am actually considering buying their albums, I like them that much.
Funny youtube videos.
Getting good grades.
Paying 130 bucks to fix my ipod when it crapped on me.
Wicked burning people occasionally. Especially Asher in the with the hoe juggling comments: priceless.
Going to the gym.
Competing and doing well in my part of the Triathlon.
Running as Ramses in the Costume 5k.
Buying The Don (my car)
Living with good buddies: Joe, Smash, Scott…..I am sad that I moved out.
Not so goods:
Persistent damn wart on my pinky that just won’t die.
Nightwatch (if you have ever disturbed my slumber, this probably made your list as well).
All of the bureaucratic bull s*** that Malu and I had to go through and will continue to go through. (not to mention expenses)
Married housing searching. I HATE searching for housing.
My cell phone. It is a POS. If I ever get a new one, I shall hurl this one to the ground with glee.
Exhaust poisoning from the Samurai. Asher knows about that.

I am sure there is all kinds of stuff to add, but this is the kind of garbage that people dislike about my blog, so I will move on.

This is getting bloody long so I’m cutting it.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

A voice from the grave....

Folks,

Been a busy while. Malu got here, THANK GOODNESS. I hate our embassy. I have a new apartment, expensivish rent but hey, married housing. There is a welfare female cat named Fred here, looking at me through the window right now. There has been a crapload of snow, which sucks for my gutless car. The tires being bald means that I have to fight wherever I go and always wonder if I am on the verge of sliding into oncoming traffic. BYU choked in their bowl, surprise. Shane had a good year at least, damn Utes. At least they win. I got a 3.7 last semester, not too shabby. Had to buy books, which I hate. I am trying to decide who is more gay, the bookstore or the US embassy in Peru. Hmmm... It's a toss up. I have no dryer, so I hand dry my clothes. Wedding invitations is a pain in my A**. They have been done for two weeks but getting them to people is not fun.
I will blog something worthwhile in the future, but that's all I have for now.