Easter

Seems like a friendly Easter Egg hunt isn't possible in the Sweat Shop. It was an all around competitive atmosphere this past weekend.
World Domination
Cold-Hearted Colonization
Asian Intrigue
Plant Busting
Eating
Napping
More Eating
More Napping
Cute Peruvian
Whispered Conversations in Conspirital Tones
Meaningful Glances
Hiding in Plain Sight
Shooting Cans
Color Confusion
Photo Albulms
And that is the rundown for the good times out in Fruitland.

Toast the 12 steps...

I have decided not to do a 12 steps thing. I am too lazy. Lately, I went to a Linking Park concert, the Beardocrat came to the homestead, I filmed a black cow in a blizzard. I tricked the Rage into watching Silent Hill, that movie blows. It had one creepy part near the start and dropped off fast. 33 cents wasted. Anywho, I have a paper to write and I can't think of anything to write. But I am listening to Keane and it's good times.

Moving on up... and a lusterous head.

New month and I am getting all kinds of technological advancements. First of all, I borrowed my bro Steven's hair trimmer and camcorder. Good times playing around with both, and I have filmed the process of bicking my head. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to put it on the computer and post it on this blog... but that will most likely not happen.
I also scored an IPOD (don't lecture me Michele)(you either Shane). I needed one pretty badly. Don't get me wrong, I love stuffing my diskman in my teal fannypack and making the rounds at the gym as much as the next guy, but there are just problems. Here are a few: CDs skip, batteries are lame to deal with, it looks gay, it is awkward and uncomfortable, CDs scratch, bla, bla. Basically, I wanted one for the same reasons everybody else has one: I want all my music transportable and easily accesible. Apart from the IPOD, I kind of accidentally got myself internet access by scoring a wireless internet USB dealio. I needed this because my windows expired... but that's another story.
I think I promised the 12 steps, but it will have to wait. Hmmm.... And I guess that is all the excitement. Michele is finally inroducing the "beardocrat" to the rents, so that promises to be an amusing post in the future.

Double duece...Dang.

Well, here I be, one year more dwindled away.
I think that brithdays cease to be so important to a person after they have spend a few in another country surrounded by stangers. After realizing that it matters nil anywhere other than in your house, things are a lot easier to deal with. Anywho, on to more interesting topics.

Last week, I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Now before you all fly off the handle to buy me a drink, I didn't go bc I have any actual drinking problems, I went for sociology class. Lets just say that is was like a church for lunatics. It was on the second floor above a shady looking diner in a rather scummy part of town. There were strange posters on the wall and I learned all about the "12 steps". There was a book that I will think of as the AA Bible, and there was lots of testimony featuring F-bombs. I felt right at home, HAHA! Anyway, I was shocked to she younger women there. I figured the only people in AA were old weathered looking guys... like my uncles/cousins.

And one more thing to mull over in all of your equally exciting lives: Why are there people who always post comments on my blog but never put anything worthwhile or anything at all on their own blogs? These people are dispicable and I think it needs to stop. That is it, I am starting BA(Bloggers Anonymous) and I will post 12 steps to kick your crappy habits....
next time.

Asher is back...

Well, my good buddy Asher made his triuphant return on Wednesday. He is my first buddy to return after me from a mission so I am stoked to get his perspective on how it went. That being said, I realize something: nobady cares about mission stories except for the person telling them. Really, it's sad, but true. I am very guilty of dipping into the bank of stories that begin, "When I was on my mission...." Anywho, I will listen to Asher because I love the kid and I don't find them as boring as most, as long as I get to sprinkle in a few lewd stories from my own corrupt mission.

Thoughts of a returning missionary that I had:

Holy crap the US is organized.

Wow, everybody is too fat or too skinny.

I am not funny anymore, and from what I hear, I never was.

I can't speak this damn language.

People are cold hearted.

I hope I still know how to drive.

I wonder what I am going to do with all of my spare time?"

Why do people watch such crappy shows and listen to such crappy music.

What are good shows, music, movies that I am oblivious to?

Why is my family so strange?

WTF?

Those are just a few of the thoughts that I had, I wonder if Asher is experiencing and of that. I hope not, that kid is much better than I and he probably has his stuff more together. Anywho, three cheers for Asher. ******** ********* ********* and a high five!

Task: Death in STAR WARS

So... I saw a Simpsons the other day, it inspired me.
So... Now I will list all of the Star Wars deaths in order that I can remember. Just Episodes IV, V, & VI. Who gives a damn about the first three anyway?

A New Hope:

The rebel scum w/ his lame helment. Darth Vader kills him and the dude throws up his arms as he is flung. Also, a storm trooper or two.

Some Jawas; Then Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen

Ugly alien in bar. Can't remember his name; then Greedo.

Everybody on Alderran

Storm Trooper sweeper crew. Then some prison guard officers, and some more random storm troopers.

Obi-Wan Kenobi; More random storm troopers; Then four tie-fighter pilots.

Red 5, Red Leader, And a few other rebel pilots.

Grand Moff Tarkin and all the other suckas on the Death Star.

The Empire Strikes Back:

A Taum taum, and then the snow beast.

A probe droid; then Vader kills the Admiral that was a dumb A**

Dax, the gunner. Rebel scum, random storm troopers, an couple of AT-AT's.

An empirial officer in a hologram; than a few mynocks on the Falcon.

Vader kills Captain Nieder.

C-3PO gets blasted, but is fixed. A few more storm troopers die.

The Return Of the Jedi:

Tortured droid.

A Twilek love slave, than two Gammorean gaurds; Then another Gammorean.

The Raincore.

Random ugly alian henchmen.

Bobo Fett; Then Jabba the Hutt and everybody else on the sail barge.

Yoda passes away on Degobah.

Some random storm troopers on the forest moon of endor.

Some furry little E-Woks bite the dust.

The officer who says "You rebel scum" all snidelike gets killed with the rest of the storm troopers, and Han Solo kills the first one stylishly by throwing a thermal charge at him and knocking him over the edge.

Some imperial and rebel pilots die. The medical frigate gets blasted by the Death Star II, Admiral Ackbar decided to take on the Super Star Destroyer.

The Super Star Destroyer gets blown up by kamakasi rebel pilot, than plunges into the Death Star.

The emperor dies;and then Darth Vader/Anakin; and all the other suckas on the Death Star II.



Well, there you go. Right out of my memory has sprung this goodness. If I forgot somebody, dang. Anywho, that's all I got for this post.

QUESTION?

Here is a question I was wondering about.

Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

This question was inspired upon viewing Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. You should all know what I am talking about.