It needs to be said...

Here is a book I'm writing:



Lets just say that I love Star Wars and Indiana Jones, and even American Graffiti. That being said, my love of all things Lucas started to wane in 1999. This was the year that The Phantom Menace was released. Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for anything that has Liam Neeson in it. Throw in my boy Samuel L and now we're talking. Also, Darth Maul is undoubtedly the the quickest Sith ever and he is pretty darn cool. (I'm a big fan of Ray Park, and his work). All that aside, a little character named Jar Jar Binks was introduced. Nuff said about him. Other things that were hard to swallow were the ever more ridiculous "princess/queen hair doos" and Little Orphan Annie. I mean, come on, I can understand wanting to highlight the slip from innocent and good to dark and evil in Ana-kin Skywalker... But Annie?

Lets step back a bit. The original Star Wars are hands down the best movies ever. But most people don't know that the best two (IMHO) The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, were directed by Irvin Kershner and Richard Marquand respectively. WHAT??? So it wasn't Lucas who directed the best Star Wars? Hmmm....

Indiana Jones? Directed by Steven Spielberg. And here we arrive at the grain of the matter. LUCAS, PLEASE STOP KILLING CLASSICS IN ORDER TO MAKE MORE MONEY! I can only imagine that is why you decided to do the prequel. I like a lot of things about the first three movies, but there are some parts that bring me to tears ... of sadness for how cheesy it is. For example, newly assembled Darth Vader falling to his knees and yelling,... you know what? I can't even write it. You all know what happened. And I trust you were as disgusted as I was. There is a long list of these things, but it pains me to recall them so you can just think of them yourselves.

Back to Indiana Jones: What. The. H@#$. I generally pretend that the latest Indiana Jones movie was never made. It's bad on so many levels. Spielberg, Lucas, let it go. I really frown on Shia LeBeouf making an appearance in any story dear to me (Like Transformers). There is a time when it's OK to revive a storyline long dead. Like TRON, nobody really cared about that, so it was all fine and dandy to drag it out of the dusty closet. But not Indy, and not Star Wars. I felt that the worst thing that was to done to Star Wars was the Clone Wars Animated Series, which I checked out from the Provo library and didn't even make it through the first disc. I'm not talking about the 2003 animated series, which was sweet, but the 2008 3D computer animated series, which sucked.

I could go on and on, but then you wouldn't buy my book, so I'm stopping here.








I can't help myself. Here is a few flash words of why I try to pretend there is no such thing as Indiana Jones 4:

Aliens
Vine Swinging
Communists?
Refrigerator/Nuke
Mariachi
Old People