The moment.

There is a moment, a moment we all know well, that I am about to describe. This is a moment that I am sure you’ve experienced, a moment that I can only describe as “the climax of impatience”. Now I know that our general run of the mill sleepmuch8 readers will be thinking dirty thoughts based solely on the imagery inspired by the word ‘climax’, but c’mon now, pull it together and focus with me for a second. This is the moment when you are in traffic and the light turns green but the #@#$er in front of you is dosing and doesn’t go. Or, when you are in a hurry and you are hitting all of the red lights. This is the feeling you get when you are reading a particularly crappy book (Twilight) and you just want it to end so you can say you finished one, gave it a fair shot, and still hate it. This is the precise moment when you are in church and a speaker (especially a testimony person that jumped up WAY after it was obvious that the current line was going to be cutting into your Sunday lunch/nap) is over time and weeping and showing no signs of stopping. I find my self chanting “in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!” over and over in my head in hopes that somehow the speaker will be overpowered by my intellect, repeat the words, and be forced to sit down. This also happened a lot on the mission with apostatizing bishops; you have a golden investigator losing desire to know more about the church because of the fools rant and you are powerless to stop it. This is the moment where you need to use the bathroom really bad in the theatre and the movie pretends to end about five times (I’m looking at you Return of the King… did we REALLY need to see the super gay –not that there’s anything wrong with that-hobbit pillow fight?) Or even Mama Mia, where the movie basically sucks and you just wish it would roll into its grave and die already (but there is a whole blog soon to come dedicated to how much I disliked that movie, so never fear, its crimes will not go unnoticed/unpunished). This is the moment where you are engaged in a discussion with someone (or you are being lectured by someone), and you just want them to shut the hell up so you can be on your way. This is the moment when you are waiting for the next shift to come on so you can be relieved, especially if they’re late (this can be really bad when you work grave). This is the moment that I will soon be experiencing, and one that I anticipate will suck, as it has thousands of times before. But there is light at the end of the tunnel friends, do not despair. The last Amen will be uttered, the light will turn green, the jerk will get out of your way, the book/movie will end, and the shift will end. This I promise you. But, you’d all better shape up because I firmly believe hell is driving to the theatre in heavy traffic to get to the huge line to see ‘Twilight’, the movie. Just thinking of that makes me shutter and desire to repent. Till next time, may your moments be brief.