Friday, February 14, 2014

My new roommate: Why we are the odd couple.

My new roommate... *sigh.

Nice guy.
Divorced with a 7-year-old daughter. That is no problem. He is fine with sharing, and largely occupied with his own life.
So wherein do we become the odd couple?
WELL.
I am cleaner than pretty much everyone that I have ever lived with. This includes every mission companion that I have ever had and a slew of roommates over the years. (Joe is also pretty clean). The current roommate, who we will call "T" is not clean. He is not filthy, but it swiftly became apparent that I have different standards of clean then he does.
My first hint were the shoes that appeared by the door.
I didn't find this an issue initially. Some people get into the happen of removing their shoes upon entering their house to protect the carpet. We don't have nice carpet. BUT, before he came here, he MAY have had nice carpet, so I was willing to overlook it.
Until they never moved.
They just sat there. One week. Two weeks. A month went by before something happened. What happened you ask? Not removal, no no, it was joined by a pair of jeans with the belt still in them. Seriously as if they had been removed upon on entering. They ALSO didn't move for several days.
THEN, to round out the party: a grocery bag full of what appeared to be dirty laundry. WHAT?!
So that continued for a few more weeks. And finally, all disappeared. More mystifying than crop circles.

He also sucks at doing dishes. I detest pulling out a cup or bowl only to discover that there is a film of SOMETHING coating a part of it. It makes me wonder about the cleanliness of all of the dishes in the cupboard. This is obnoxious. Also, the penchant for washing only HALF of the dishes, and never cleaning the counters or the floor. This is something that I am used too, but still annoying. Particularly because of this other trait that T has: he fancies himself a health eater.

SO! Constantly scraping flax seed gunk off of the stove top. There is a myriad of blending devices and juicers cluttering up an already crowded counter space. The man doesn't exercise much, but he buys a ton of fresh vegetables and things and makes a LOT of smoothies and other things that make a mess. Which he infrequently cleans. (You can say what you want about my diet, but pop tarts, cereal, and hot pockets do not make much of a mess).  This brings us to yet another annoyance: the 3 week old chicken. You know those rotisserie chickens you can by at Smiths for around 6 bucks? Imagine 3/4ths of one sitting on the second shelf of your fridge for a month. Guess what? It stinks. I nearly get up the nerve to chuck it, when it is magically replaced with yet another rotisserie chicken, and thus the cruel cycle begins anew...

He just started the #*$@ing horrible practice of burning incense. I am neither a hippie, nor trying to cover up the smell of pot, ergo, I am not an incense fan.

And then there is his girl friend.
She seems nice, but crazy clingy. He will NOT do better, but he wants to dump her for some reason. This has led to a series of loud, LONG, DTR's (determine the relationship) until all hours of the morning. The walls of this fine apartment are (shocking, I know), thin. So I get to hear about how he doesn't seem to care, and how he is mad at her judging him, and bla bla bla bla bla.... bla. I never thought something was worse than having that conversation. I was wrong. Listening to it ebb and flow for hours as you try to drift off into slumber every day for most of a week is worse. ALL THE TIME WITH THIS. Now they are in my living room, monopolizing my TV, with a TON of dishes and whatnot dirty from their Valentines dinner. I am not passive aggressive, merely a jerk, so it has been difficult for me to not let fire fly forth. Thankfully, because he usually corrects the mess eventually....

And then there is his daughter. She is not really loud, but I'm not a huge fan of kids. I like some, but by and large, I prefer when they aren't in my living space. So, every now and then, I am surprised when I awake or come home to find one underfoot. I want to eat, but she's coloring on the table. I want to watch TV, but she's watching cartoons. Strange world I live in. Oh, and T usually uses the kitchen table as his laptop viewing area, so eating there is rather uncomfortable. Can't talk, he is watching stuff on his computer, so rather than doing that, I eat in my room.

He also runs the heater WAY more than I ever did pre-T entering the picture. Granted, I liked to keep thinks about 62, which to some people is unreasonable, but I pay the gas bill straight up for simplicity's sake, and last month I was appalled.

I use a lufa in the bathroom. I love lufas, not one of my more many admissions. He has no lufa. He has no rag. Unless he just squirts bodywash directly on his body, he must be using my lufa. ...
...
I want you to think about that.


Lastly, and this isn't so much a negative: he currently has a 2 year supply of food storage. We don't have a lot of storage space, and what we have is now filled to the brim with food storage. If the apocalypse happens, I will simply poison him and then be set.

So there you are, I am the clean, organized one, he is the other one. Together, rather than hilarity ensuing, I just spend more time than usual cleaning. At least I spend the bulk of my time at school.

*Much later note by me-- The guy isn't that bad, I just use this blog as a platform for venting, as I am sure you have noticed by now.

1 comment:

politicchic6 said...

You should renegotiate his contract when you renew your lease. Flat utilities rate by raising the rent 30 a month or so.