Thursday, July 29, 2010

Things and people the world would be better off without:

Soap Operas
Indiana Jones 4

Michael Moore

Black licorice
Somali pirates
Jar Jar Binks
Male purses AKA Satchels
Hugo Chavez

Mosquitoes
The UofU Mascot Swoop (because it's gay)

AIDS
Obama
The View
Kenny Chesney

The Taliban
The Daredevil, Electra, Fantastic Four, and Second Punisher movies.

Skinny Jeans. Also, emo hipsters who wear cardigans and thick rimmed glasses and have delusions about how great their chosen music is.

Most Akon songs
Modern dance

Pedophiles
Clash of the Titans

The Harry Potter movies
Everything Twilight: Books, Movies, Merchandise
Especially that ugly fo they got to be Edward in the movies- Robert Pattinson

More to come

Friday, July 16, 2010

Check this:

For a new segment to my blog, I have decided to try something unusual. I will have periodic posts called "See no evil", which will feature good songs with terrible music videos. This song by Queen is one of my favorites, and I like pretty much every remix of it ever. I even liked it in that Coke commercial. What I don't enjoy, is this video, which I found locked away on the hard-drive of a random computer in Peru. Why it was there I have no idea, but here it is for you to... enjoy.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I'm sooooo tired.

It's been awhile.
I have been having a deuce of a time sleeping lately. I am actually sitting here at 10 AM and wishing fervently that I was sleeping. But I was laying in bed and I just couldn't. Maybe it's the fact that our AC doesn't work and that Malu sleeps with the windows closed when I'm not here making the house a comfortable eleventy billion degrees. Maybe it's the jackanapes mowing the lawn outside the bedroom window for the better part of an hour and a half (he obviously gets paid by the hour). Maybe its the fact that I slept 9 hours yesterday night for the first time in weeks (with the aide of some crappy sleeping pills.) Whatever it is, I am not a cheerful camper. I wish my job weren't so easy and didn't pay so well for doing absolutely nothing. Then I could justify quitting. The only downside- regular sleep deprivation- is quite a downside.

Friday, June 18, 2010

ANGER!!!

This is what I feel towards the referee for the US-Slovenia game today. Why? well, here is the humorous article about him on Wikipedia that I found moments after the game:

"Koman Coulibaly (born 4 July 1970) is a Malian football referee who currently resides in Mali. He has been a full international referee for FIFA since 1999.

He was selected as a referee for the 2004 African Cup of Nations in Tunisia, the 2006 African Cup of Nations in Egypt, and the 2008 African Cup of Nations in Ghana.
Unbalanced scales.svg

**The neutrality of this article is disputed. Please see the discussion on the talk page. Please do not remove this message until the dispute is resolved.**
(Author interjection, the neutrality of this article as suspect as the neutrality of Koman in his officiating.)

He was preselected as a referee for the 2010 FIFA World Cup.[1] His officiating in the game between USA and Slovenia was roundly criticized by television commentators at the time. Coulibaly negated a late U.S. goal with an offsides call, which replays have shown to be inaccurate. The goal would have capped a US comeback from a 2-0 halftime deficit to Slovenia; instead the game ended in a 2-2 tie. Coulibaly is rumoured to hate the United States of America with the burning passion of a white hot sun.

Speaking on the game, Chris Moyles said: "I've just seen that disallowed goal for the US again - and not only was there no foul by a US player, there are probably two penalty-kick offences being committed by the Slovenian defenders. Shocking decision." Coulibaly's exploits have drawn comparisons to such sporting pariahs as Jim Joyce, Don Denkinger, Tim Donaghy, and even BP CEO Tony Heyward.

Koman even gave out a yellow card to Robbie Findlay (of the US) in the same game, after he was hit in the face with...the ball? Koman definetely stole the show in the US-Slovenia game."


He may have born on the Fourth of July, but he's no friend of Uncle Sam. Here are my thoughts on the matter:

There once was a man from Mali,
who was as dumb and blind as could be,
he hated the States,
so FIFA said, "Great!"
and then made him the damn referee.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

World Cup...

I was planning on writing a detailed analysis of all my thoughts and feelings about the great event that is the world cup. But then it dawned on me that most of the 3 people that read this don't really give a fig about the World Cup. So... Well. I guess I got nothing.


(GO USA!!!)


(... AND CHILE!!!)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Some R&R Fruitland style

I like Fruitland. It's quiet, free laundry, homecooked meals, and sweeping landscapes. I took some snazzy pictures and am now putting my name on them so people don't rip off my photos. Check these out:







On a side note, my brother and I planted a garden, so there will be updates on how that is going.

Monday, May 24, 2010

My bucket list so far.

I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve posted. About a month actually. But hey, I felt like I needed a blog vacation. That’s right, I figured that I blogged up a storm in Peru, so I took time off.
High points of my time back: I’m back at Heritage making sure the at-risk youth of tomorrow are safe. Malu and I purchased a car. It’s a golden Kia Rio, which averages 30 miles to a gallon whom we named C-3PO. And we’re back in the dance group. That’s it.

I have recently been inspired by my friend Gluch to make a bucket list. His is pretty long. I’m going to see how far I get, and be warned, a few of these I made a while ago and have accomplished. So no worries.

1) Dance in the Candelaria and master at least one Peruvian folk dance.

2) Go to Spain (or whichever country) and get involved in the out-of-control tomato fight.

3) Actually get in shape enough to see some stomach muscles (six-pack action).

4) Walk the Incan Trail and see Machu Picchu.

5) Jump out of a plane and parachute.

6) Drive a 69 Corvette Stingray really fast (and own one if possible).

7) Ride in a helicopter.

8) Visit Hawaii, and drink Hawaiian Punch on the beach there.

9) Paint a large Star Wars Mural.

10) Film a funny video with at least 10 friends.

11) Photograph a cougar in the wild.

12) Visit the African Savanna.

13) Visit all 7 Continents (or five if you are from S. America… BAZING)

14) Learn how to break dance.

15) Have a child (or 4 if everything goes as I wish).

16) Serve a LDS mission.

17) Meet a famous person and act indifferent.

18) Walk on the Great Wall of China.

19) Learn another foreign language (Japanese?).

20) Participate in a Marathon or, if I become suicidal, an Ironman Triathlon.

21) Shoot a fully automatic weapon (AK-47 or M16 would do … or perhaps an Uzi).

22) Learn and master all of my mother’s Latin songs.

23) Attend a major Star Wars convention; with a complete and cool costume (I’m thinking Darth Maul because of the whole bald thing).

24) Perform in a musical (already done this, but I’m thinking in an actual theater company).

25) Drive across the USA.

26) Start a **NICE** living center for high functioning mentally handicapped folks where they could have minimal on site management and could lead a decently independent lifestyle.

27) Write and record an album of guitar songs with at least 10 tracks.

28) Learn a cool trick on a snowboard (some kind of 360 or flip at least).

29) Attend a MASSIVE rave (with minimum homosexuals … and therein lies the challenge I suppose. That is to say, not a rave SPECIFICALLY for gay rights)

30) Take a strobe picture of a bullet going through a pop can filled with water.

31) Own a really nice custom made round table with a Risk board inlaid in different colored stone on the top. With this awesome board, I wand to take time lapse overhead pictures of a long and brutal six player game, then to be strung together with music to show.

32) Learn how to custom paint ‘hovering flames’.

33) One day restore to glory the purple Ford Power Stroke (preferably the same one that is now dead).

34) Visit Iguazu falls.

35) Check out the Grand Canyon.

36) Go backpacking/camping in Souther Utah.
37) Visit Madagascar.

38) Buy a Samoyed or Japanese Akita puppy and teach it to be awesome.

39) Write a book and get it published.

40) Get 20/20 vision without contacts or glasses.

41) Relearn how to do a gainer on a diving board.

42) Learn the basics of various types of martial arts: Shotokan Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Brazilian Capaiera, Judo, Thai boxing.

43) Own a nice pool table and have a house large and nice enough to make it feel welcome.

44) Shoot 70 or under in 18 rounds of golf.

45) Golf on St. Andrews in Scotland.

46) Get good at soccer.

47) Visit the Philippines.

48) Visit Rome.

49) Run across Starvation bridge naked (strange I know, but many a friend and corruptor has done it and the reports are that it's a blast).

50) ....

I got nothing for 50. It'll come to me.

Until next.


PS> Here is a link to Gluch's Bucket list:
http://jgluch.blogspot.com/2010/01/100-things-to-put-on-resume.html