Texting.

It has recently came to my attention that I am a sloppy texter. I discovered this because I always use the "word" function to have the cell phone auto complete my words to go faster. Unfortunately, when each key has three letters each, it makes for some accidental (and humorous), potential errors. Some are just annoying. For example: 'me' &'of'. Also: 'go'& 'in'. But recently, I have had some good ones. I sent a text to Joe saying that I had to call my wife. Unfortunately, that is the same key stroke pattern for 'ball'. Yesterday I sent Liberty a text to ask if she and Asher were going to be 'celebrating'. While I don't remember exactly how that one was messed up, I remember that it said something 'ing' and sounded dirty. And here's a good one that the Rage asked me. If anything had ever happened (I forget what) while 'eating' different people... when she meant to say 'dating'. I want to hear all of your funny text bloopers, so get to posting.

The moment.

There is a moment, a moment we all know well, that I am about to describe. This is a moment that I am sure you’ve experienced, a moment that I can only describe as “the climax of impatience”. Now I know that our general run of the mill sleepmuch8 readers will be thinking dirty thoughts based solely on the imagery inspired by the word ‘climax’, but c’mon now, pull it together and focus with me for a second. This is the moment when you are in traffic and the light turns green but the #@#$er in front of you is dosing and doesn’t go. Or, when you are in a hurry and you are hitting all of the red lights. This is the feeling you get when you are reading a particularly crappy book (Twilight) and you just want it to end so you can say you finished one, gave it a fair shot, and still hate it. This is the precise moment when you are in church and a speaker (especially a testimony person that jumped up WAY after it was obvious that the current line was going to be cutting into your Sunday lunch/nap) is over time and weeping and showing no signs of stopping. I find my self chanting “in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!” over and over in my head in hopes that somehow the speaker will be overpowered by my intellect, repeat the words, and be forced to sit down. This also happened a lot on the mission with apostatizing bishops; you have a golden investigator losing desire to know more about the church because of the fools rant and you are powerless to stop it. This is the moment where you need to use the bathroom really bad in the theatre and the movie pretends to end about five times (I’m looking at you Return of the King… did we REALLY need to see the super gay –not that there’s anything wrong with that-hobbit pillow fight?) Or even Mama Mia, where the movie basically sucks and you just wish it would roll into its grave and die already (but there is a whole blog soon to come dedicated to how much I disliked that movie, so never fear, its crimes will not go unnoticed/unpunished). This is the moment where you are engaged in a discussion with someone (or you are being lectured by someone), and you just want them to shut the hell up so you can be on your way. This is the moment when you are waiting for the next shift to come on so you can be relieved, especially if they’re late (this can be really bad when you work grave). This is the moment that I will soon be experiencing, and one that I anticipate will suck, as it has thousands of times before. But there is light at the end of the tunnel friends, do not despair. The last Amen will be uttered, the light will turn green, the jerk will get out of your way, the book/movie will end, and the shift will end. This I promise you. But, you’d all better shape up because I firmly believe hell is driving to the theatre in heavy traffic to get to the huge line to see ‘Twilight’, the movie. Just thinking of that makes me shutter and desire to repent. Till next time, may your moments be brief.

Another post, the Great White Ninja

Another blog. What to post? I am trying to put together posts with more substance, but I just can’t think of anything good. Does this mean that I am indeed substance less? Well if that’s the case… crap. Oh well. I am going to list a few major events that I think maybe have been neglected in the blog world:
1) Michele and Alan are getting hitched. I think that Consuelo will be able to tell people that the Lord really does answer prayers from here on out. The happy occasion is scheduled for April 24th or 25th? I can’t remember.
2) I was accepted into the print journalism program. Unfortunately I was screwed from the get go at the first meeting for the major. Basically, to do new media I was told that I should attend this spring and summer. That’s not going to work, namely because I am a poorly newly-wed and need to work. Fear not though, all will work out; it will just take me a year longer to graduate.
3) Shane moved. I guess that’s important to some.
4) I am thinking of double minoring in Spanish and Latin American Studies. (really taking risks with those.).
5) I just loaded Adobe C4 Master Suite on my computer, and am now realizing that I need how to use it.
6) BLA BLA BLA

All right, enough of that. I drew a ninja in Adobe Illustrator. Hopefully my skill will improve. Anywho, take care and I will try to post at least weekly from now on.

My car...DIFFICULT. The Haiku

MY CAR THE TRIAL,
MAKES ME WISH I WASN'T POOR,
LOOKS LIKE A LONG ROAD.

For whom the bell tolls...

Well, It happened. I thought I would avoid marriage for a long time after the mission (and told several people that I would), but Malu is just too damn cute. I am a happy guy and this picture would have been the most perfect picture ever if my head wasn't cut off. but that's ok, I am not the important part. Thanks Shane for snapping photos. Another lame thing, I got ZERO chocolate fountain goodness. Bummer. Thanks Michele and Rachael, you were right, the apartment would have been lame. Thanks all and later.

Dementally challenged.

I hear that I never blog anything good these days. I also hear that I don’t blog hardly at all. This is all true, and I apologize. SO, to hearken back to the good old day, here we go.

First item of business:

Heroes… meh.
That’s right. I know that I follow this show and no others, but it is just getting silly. I liked first season. Second season was not so hot, and now this last one is just losing me. I know Shane can see no wrong in this series, but I disagree. I don’t want to delve into the whole thing, for those of you yet watching, but I think there are lots of parts where there is just crap thrown in for filler. Stuff out of nowhere that isn’t really needed. (Haitian and his brother part…wtf?). Also, when Seth Green gets involved delivering timely hope inspiring speeches, I just can’t take it seriously anymore.

Twilight… As gay as I feared it would be.
***Disclaimer*** Granted, this book wasn’t exactly written for me, the audience is adolescent girls and I think it plays to them perfectly.
That being said, I started reading book one and I must say, wow. Not ‘wow’ in a ‘oh, how cool!’, but ‘wow’ as in, ‘Oh Lord, O Lord, please give me my wasted life moments back’. If I hear one more description about how coldly beautiful what’s-his-name the teen vampire hunk is I am going to start loving men. That’s unfortunate on the proverbial eve of my heterosexual marriage. I think this book is stupid. Not just because it is a book about high-school-vampire-romance; but also because the bastard sparkles in the sun. I think it is kind of crappy writing as well. Lots of painful mental monologue by the heroine. Speaking of heroine, I think that consumption of such in vast quantities would be the only thing that could make this book bearable for me. I am sad that Stephanie Meyers disappointed me so, especially since she claims she listened to the great band The Muse while she wrote. I kind of hope not, because I love the Muse and I think if she managed to associate herself with them in my mind, they could only stand to go down a rung in my book. So how do you become a wealthy author in this day in age?, think of a way to bring little emo f-nuts, hot topic, and adolescent vampires together in one glorious suckfest.

Bests and Worst…
This should be extensive since it was my first complete year following my mission, but sadly, not so much. I can’t remember much about it. So instead of the typical movies, books, etc. I will throw out some goods and some not so good’s.
Goods:
Malu: Everything, especially the Peru Proposal Trip of June 08.
Discovering good new music, such as Diego’s Umbrella: I am actually considering buying their albums, I like them that much.
Funny youtube videos.
Getting good grades.
Paying 130 bucks to fix my ipod when it crapped on me.
Wicked burning people occasionally. Especially Asher in the with the hoe juggling comments: priceless.
Going to the gym.
Competing and doing well in my part of the Triathlon.
Running as Ramses in the Costume 5k.
Buying The Don (my car)
Living with good buddies: Joe, Smash, Scott…..I am sad that I moved out.
Not so goods:
Persistent damn wart on my pinky that just won’t die.
Nightwatch (if you have ever disturbed my slumber, this probably made your list as well).
All of the bureaucratic bull s*** that Malu and I had to go through and will continue to go through. (not to mention expenses)
Married housing searching. I HATE searching for housing.
My cell phone. It is a POS. If I ever get a new one, I shall hurl this one to the ground with glee.
Exhaust poisoning from the Samurai. Asher knows about that.

I am sure there is all kinds of stuff to add, but this is the kind of garbage that people dislike about my blog, so I will move on.

This is getting bloody long so I’m cutting it.

A voice from the grave....

Folks,

Been a busy while. Malu got here, THANK GOODNESS. I hate our embassy. I have a new apartment, expensivish rent but hey, married housing. There is a welfare female cat named Fred here, looking at me through the window right now. There has been a crapload of snow, which sucks for my gutless car. The tires being bald means that I have to fight wherever I go and always wonder if I am on the verge of sliding into oncoming traffic. BYU choked in their bowl, surprise. Shane had a good year at least, damn Utes. At least they win. I got a 3.7 last semester, not too shabby. Had to buy books, which I hate. I am trying to decide who is more gay, the bookstore or the US embassy in Peru. Hmmm... It's a toss up. I have no dryer, so I hand dry my clothes. Wedding invitations is a pain in my A**. They have been done for two weeks but getting them to people is not fun.
I will blog something worthwhile in the future, but that's all I have for now.