Where am I going, and why am I in a handbasket...

SUIT UP!

2011-12-22T16:20:00.000-08:00

Well folks, it's that time again. Time to go to Peru. I love Peru, and am excited to go. But guess what, next time I travel someplace, it better not be Peru. In any event, we are all excited. Don't forget to follow my adventures in Peru at www.peaksandpitfallsinperu.blogspot.com

It's been hectic getting everything together for the trip, not to mention getting Malu through finals and moving out of our apartment.

AS fun as this post is, halfway through, I ran out of time and moved to Peru for four months, just go to my other blog. This was just going to talk about a show that I started watching that I like called "How I Met Your Mother".
I just thought it was interesting that a few months ago I mentioned my casual interest in the show and my intention to watch it eventually to both my sister and my buddy Shane, neither of which had watched it. These were isolated and fleeting instances. Then a few weeks ago, seemingly simultaneously, we all watched all of the seasons on netflix. Interesting no?

7 Guilty Pleasures

2011-11-09T16:27:00.000-08:00

Life is been good.
The Peru trip is upon us, and that means that I'll soon be shifting back to the PERU BLOG
and lets face it, you would all prefer that anyway.
The night job will end in 12 more working days.... sweet. I like my job, but it messes up your life when you can't sleep when everyone else does.
Having to leave this apartment is a bummer. It was big, it was cheap, it was good times.
bla bla bla, on to the meat of the blog,

Guilty Pleasures

1) The Voice. This show has such important personalities as Christina Aguilera and Carson Daily. (That WAS sarcasm). But I couldn't help myself. Malu started watching it for some reason, and the first few episodes I found heavy on the gay personalities and was not really that impressed with some of the contestants. But somehow, I was drawn in. There was the seemingly necessary token person from Utah, there were some people I loved to hate, and the judges were funny and sniped each other. I found myself rooting for Javier Colon, a guy who sang an amazing version of Time After Time. (I have dubbed him, Javier, "El Angel" Colon).

2) Gangsta (you know I'm legit because I don't spell it 'gangster') music. (Or rap, or hip-hop, or whatever). I admit. I like it. I blame Shane R and Casey Harrison for corrupting me at a vulnerable and easily influenced period of my life ;). In any event, there it is.

3) Ceviche. It's raw fish, in lemon juice. Don't ask me why it's delicious, it just is. Now the real question is this: How did the Peruvians find a way to ruin the ever glorious potato by turning it into chuno, which is disgusting, but also manage to make something gross, like raw fish, palatable? It beats the heck outta me.

4) Techno. I really can't explain this, moving on.

5) Dragon Ball Z. This is like a really long, really repetitive, soap opera geared towards children and with all of the protagonists having ridiculous hair. All the same, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Vegeeta. And Piccolo. It may have taken several episodes for anything to happen, but as a 13 year old, I had plenty of free time weekday afternoons in the bustling metropolis of Fruitland, so I didn't mind.

6) Kittens. honestly, they are sooooo cute. I can't deny that I am basically unable to resist petting them and using a cute voice with little cats.

7) The Vagrant. This movie is pretty bad. Just ask The Rage and Politicchic. It is an early 90's movie. It is something along the vein of The Burbs or Beetlejuice, except arguable worse than either of those classics. I forced my group of peeps to watch it this Halloween and it was not too well received. I like it anyway.

Well, there you have it, some guilty pleasures. I have more, and will likely share them at some point. I think that you should post a few of your own guilty pleasures in the comments. (Those 2 of you who read this).

I prefer to think of myself as a book terrorist...

2011-11-01T09:31:00.000-07:00

If you know Michele, you probably get her update. If you get her update or follow her facebook status, you will know that I have been accused of engaging in Halloween mischief in leaving random books around her house. If you know either of us, you will easily believe this is something I would do. And yes, it is true. However, I am not a fan of her new term, the "book fairy". I would like to think of myself as a book terrorist, or even a book freedom fighter. It was a fun joke, but I can't lie to Michele very well (as she pointed out) so I merely had to be asked by her to be caught. In any event, the prank was supposed to be much better, but I misheard when they were going to church, and so instead of finding an empty house at 10 am Sunday morning, imagine my chagrin at finding Alan and little fatty awake and alert. It wasn't a total loss, however, because Alan likes mischief also and so we were able to give Michele a few moments of confusion for my trouble. For those of you who don't get Michele's update, this is what she had to say about her suspicions:

The Book Fairy
Yesterday the most interesting thing happened. I had my quarterly stewardship interview with the Bishop and when I got home, I noticed there were random books on the bookshelves that weren't there previously. These books were as auspicious as a Ted Kennedy biography and some crazy African American books (black lit, if you don't want to be pc about it), and upstairs new books (one of them a spiritual diet manual... a hint?) of a similar caliber. Immediately, I demanded to know how these books appeared. Alan wouldn't budge, but his twinkling eyes revealed that he knows more than he is letting on, though he claims he isn't responsible. I often state that with my interest in true crime and mystery novels, I could have been a detective... so Alan challenged me to solve the case of the Book Fairy. Unfortunately, my only witness has a limited vocabulary. I can't wait till Squirmy can talk and tell on his dad! But here is what I have so far. Jason and Malu... with Alan's help. Jason is the obvious choice because he has motive (the constant desire for pure mischief), means (I'm actually not sure about this, but judging from the titles, these must have been books that Border's decided to give away because they couldn't sell them at 90 % off), and opportunity (Alan took Jason and Malu home one evening from an outing and there could have been a book hand off, very easily). If it WASN'T Jason and Malu... I have a few other options, but I will be seeing Jason this evening, and he is a horrible liar, so it will be quite easy to tell if he is the Book Fairy.

Anywho, Halloween was a good time this year. Malu and I accompanied Alan to his work party at Adobe, which ended up being a really long haunted house type affair where there were really nifty sections that depicted things like Harry Potter and Narnia. It was cool. The line to get in was long, but while in line I got to touch two seperate boas and hold a big tarantula and a huge emperor scorpion, plus I got two eat two large things of cotton candy, so I can't complain. We also went to the Mesa Vista Halloween party, and it was good times. We took 70 Frankenstein cupcakes that Malu got from work, and made a huge mess, but it was fun nonetheless.
And finally, I convinced Rage, Michele and company to watch "The Vagrant", a quirky comedy horror from the late 80's that was GREAT. They all hated it, but oh well, I got a kick out of it.
Malu and I dressed up as a Vampire and his victim, a maid. I thought it was pretty good for a total of 30 bucks for both of us. Too bad my teeth are too little for my fangs to stick to:(.

I thought this was cool...

2011-10-15T15:27:00.000-07:00

I like the Killers, so this was enjoyable.

I've been a slacker.

2011-10-09T20:55:00.000-07:00

Folks.

I'm sorry. It seems like I don't hardly blog anymore.
This is true. I have been preoccupied with the LSAT up until a week ago and now I'm scrambling to get my applications in. But let me tell you what, you haven't been forgotten. I will post more. I'm sure of it. Finishing the LSAT was like turning the pillow over and laying my head upon the cool side. It's a relief. I will likely take it again in December, and I won't know my score till the end of the month. But it's behind me. Thank goodness.

I'll actually write something semi entertaining next time.

Where have I been?

2011-08-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

Well folks, it's been a long time. What have I been up too you ask?? Well, mostly studying for the Law School Admissions Test... otherwise known as the LSAT. It's not much fun, and frankly, I'm going to need a ridiculous score to get into the school that I want to, so no worries.

Also, I went on an overnight backpacking trip with Malu, Zack, Shane, and my former employer Mike and his dog Blue. As you can see from the photos. It was awesome except for the mosquitoes. They were not fun. Malu claims it will never happen again, we'll see. The Uintah Mountains really are my favorite mountains.

And what else? well, every spare moment I've had online has been devoted to something pretty awesome. If you've never heard of Schlock Mercenary , you're missing out on some pretty awesome webcomic action. It's self described as a "Comic Space Opera" and it is written by a fellow named Howard Tayler. He's from Utah, surprisingly enough, and another thing of note is that I believe it is the longest continuous running daily webcomic in existence. That's over 10 years of daily comic genius... so hats of to Mr. Tayler. Do yourself a favor and invest countless hours clicking your way through the tales of Schlock, Cap. Tagon, and Company as they kill, extort, and blow up many different wonders of the galaxy (all for a fair price of course).

This is something I think we can all appreciate:

2011-07-19T06:52:00.000-07:00

I made this for the world. Maybe I'll put in on a T-Shirt. I feel myself pretty clever about it.

Also.... THIS IS THE 100TH POST!!!
So in celebration.
Thanks to:

Joe,
Smithfieldman,
and
Politicchic.

You're the only people who read this anymore.

This is silly, but Oostveen knows the guy.

2011-07-03T18:20:00.001-07:00

I thought this was funny, and only slightly inappropriate. Enjoy.

Maybe

2011-06-15T19:36:00.000-07:00

Maybe having free time isn't all that fun.

I find that sleeping most of the days away and working most of the nights is exceedingly dull. Maybe I'm too used to working 2 jobs and school, but now that I have afternoons to do nothing, I am at a loss. I read, I go to the gym. Occasionally I'll run somewhere, but all in all, not a lot going on. For this reason there has been a shortage of posts.

I need to find a new job.

I need to take the LSAT.

I need to study for the LSAT

....

but, guess what I'd :like to do?

I want to write a book.

I want to go on a cruise in the Caribbean.

I want to have more married friends who live close and who are cool.

Alas. We don't always get what we want.

In any event, so that this post isn't a total waste, here's another video to add to the segment of "Great Songs With Less Than Exemplary Videos" :

Kindly point your rapture in the other direction

2011-05-22T01:03:00.000-07:00

Well, It has now been the 22nd for two hours, and I haven't been swept up to heaven. Since I am pretty sure that I'm among the MOST RIGHTEOUS, we'll have to assume that the dude who said the rapture was going to happen was wrong again.

This is been declared the "Summer of Jason", and I am enjoying the relative lack of nothing to do. I spend my days reading, watching tv, eating junk food, or going to the gym. And working. But you know, just one job and no studies is no big deal.

Ans lastly, here is a nifty slide show found at the Royal Geography Society Website that you should check out. This makes me want to travel so much.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13295855

Why?

2011-05-11T02:00:00.000-07:00

That is the question I found my self asking as I pounded through thirteen miles of Provo last Saturday. Why? I don't love running. I am not a gifted runner. I never ran in high-school. In fact, I never ran until I started my mission, and in the MTC is the first place that I can ever recall for running for the fun of it. So why, with no prior experience, would I decide to up and run a half marathon? I don't know, but it was not a bad experience. I wish I would have used the bathroom beforehand, because I really needed to pee the whole time. And I wish that I hadn't carbo-loaded on Papa John's pizza the night before, because the sausages are just plain wicked for running. But in hindsight, it was pretty fun. I rubbed the skin off of my pinky toe the Tuesday before the run in preparation, but it behaved pretty well during the 1/2 Marathon. Gluch also ran, and it was good times. My time was 1 hour 59 minutes, and my goal was under 2 hours, so success for me. Here are a few pictures of the blessed event.
http://www.zazoosh.com/members/viewGallery/4498

I realized as I ran though that I'll never have the testicular fortitude to run a full marathon, that's just too much.

Time goes by.

2011-04-30T05:53:00.000-07:00

It's April 30th, I look out the window, and I see... Snow?!?! C'mon!. It's supposed to be warm already. Why is it that Utah has to be so schizophrenic when it comes to weather? I needed to run 10 miles today, but it looks like I will have to wait till Monday. Why run at all you ask? Well, I kind of signed up to run a half marathon. I figured it would put me on my way to finishing a bucketlist item. But now, it snows. I hope it doesn't snow next week, that's the half marathon day.
I am done with school for now, and there is a void. I don't rightly know what to do with myself. I read a lot, and have watched a lot of Seinfeld. I wonder if this is what being unemployed is like somewhat. I am employed, but I don't feel like I'm doing anything if I am not pulling full a full course load with 2 jobs I guess. I cleaned the house though. Seems like I always do that when I have a life transition that involves downshifting. After my mission, I cleaned the heck out of my parents house for a while. If I had lived there more than a month, I may have even cleaned the attic and dusted all my legos... who knows? I have also watched some craptastic movies. Just for the record, GI JOE really sucks. It's like they found every class B actor that wasn't the awesome Bruce Campbell, and stuck them in there. REALLY.CRAPPY.ACTING. Plot, dialogue, everything was pretty bad. Ray Park was cool though, no speaking lines, as usual.
Stupid snow. I looked outside again and it snowed at least two inches. That means scraping off the ol' car. I think that I will move to Florida. Hurricanes are worse though. Maybe California? Nope, Earthquakes. Hmmm... Well. I'm open to suggestions. Let's here where I could find an ideal climate without some crazy natural disaster.

My last 3 or so years in one place...

2011-04-21T09:36:00.000-07:00

Want to see what I have been up to in school? Here's your chance to see all of the things that I have had my little fingers in since I declared Print Journalism as my major:

http://jasonsweat.weebly.com/

It needs to be said...

2011-04-11T03:13:00.000-07:00

Here is a book I'm writing:

Lets just say that I love Star Wars and Indiana Jones, and even American Graffiti. That being said, my love of all things Lucas started to wane in 1999. This was the year that The Phantom Menace was released. Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for anything that has Liam Neeson in it. Throw in my boy Samuel L and now we're talking. Also, Darth Maul is undoubtedly the the quickest Sith ever and he is pretty darn cool. (I'm a big fan of Ray Park, and his work). All that aside, a little character named Jar Jar Binks was introduced. Nuff said about him. Other things that were hard to swallow were the ever more ridiculous "princess/queen hair doos" and Little Orphan Annie. I mean, come on, I can understand wanting to highlight the slip from innocent and good to dark and evil in Ana-kin Skywalker... But Annie?

Lets step back a bit. The original Star Wars are hands down the best movies ever. But most people don't know that the best two (IMHO) The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, were directed by Irvin Kershner and Richard Marquand respectively. WHAT??? So it wasn't Lucas who directed the best Star Wars? Hmmm....

Indiana Jones? Directed by Steven Spielberg. And here we arrive at the grain of the matter. LUCAS, PLEASE STOP KILLING CLASSICS IN ORDER TO MAKE MORE MONEY! I can only imagine that is why you decided to do the prequel. I like a lot of things about the first three movies, but there are some parts that bring me to tears ... of sadness for how cheesy it is. For example, newly assembled Darth Vader falling to his knees and yelling,... you know what? I can't even write it. You all know what happened. And I trust you were as disgusted as I was. There is a long list of these things, but it pains me to recall them so you can just think of them yourselves.

Back to Indiana Jones: What. The. H@#$. I generally pretend that the latest Indiana Jones movie was never made. It's bad on so many levels. Spielberg, Lucas, let it go. I really frown on Shia LeBeouf making an appearance in any story dear to me (Like Transformers). There is a time when it's OK to revive a storyline long dead. Like TRON, nobody really cared about that, so it was all fine and dandy to drag it out of the dusty closet. But not Indy, and not Star Wars. I felt that the worst thing that was to done to Star Wars was the Clone Wars Animated Series, which I checked out from the Provo library and didn't even make it through the first disc. I'm not talking about the 2003 animated series, which was sweet, but the 2008 3D computer animated series, which sucked.

I could go on and on, but then you wouldn't buy my book, so I'm stopping here.

I can't help myself. Here is a few flash words of why I try to pretend there is no such thing as Indiana Jones 4:

Aliens
Vine Swinging
Communists?
Refrigerator/Nuke
Mariachi
Old People

Cha Ching$$$

2011-04-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, my antics and extravagant Saya Costume finally paid off. Malu and I won the "Most Creative Display" at a BYU internship contest and I am glad to say that it's a cash prize. That means that we are slightly less impoverished than before. Big news, I know. On a side note, the film contest for Global Citizens for study abroad (which I was way more involved in that I had originally anticipated, went well. Here are most of the videos, there are two that I can't find:
Mariah Proctor:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbTJFeP-ERI

Jared Holloway
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9R53qMyS8o

K Bryce Larson (second place)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCHe-0SNCS4

Justin Mendoza
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr4VRW_Avuo

Natalie Raines (Third place winner)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DF0q4Lyn64

Joe Robins (First place)
http://www.youtube.com/asianjoe

Todd Robins
http://www.youtube.com/zhoujunzhe

Lani Harris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gQXEdZ_bPE

My favorite was Asian Joe's, that is to say, Joe Robins. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

It's True

2011-03-28T05:17:00.001-07:00

Limerick contest

2011-03-16T04:05:00.000-07:00

I recently read a newspaper that had a St. Patrick's Day Limerick contest. There were some pretty lame ones, and one about Jimmer Fredette.

Here's mine:

There once was a man named Fredette,
all balls that he touched passed through net,
but as he walked by,
his hand glanced off my fly,
standing close to him now I regret.

Funny Batman

2011-03-13T04:40:00.001-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted. I've been occupied.
Real fast:
*Dancing Shirtless
*LSAT Practice
*Apartment Hunting
*Squirmy Torturing
*Futurama
*Contest Promoting...

And some other stuff that you probably don't care much about.

Here's something to buy your forgiveness:

It worked didn't it.?

Joe's YouTube acting debut...

2011-02-18T01:01:00.000-08:00

This is a promotional video we did for the Film contest GCSA is doing. It didn't turn out as high quality as I'd hoped, but Joe spoke and Malu danced, so what more do you want?

These are a few of my favorite things...

2011-02-09T16:24:00.000-08:00

I have been planning this post for a long time, and I am glad that I can start putting a few of my favorite things up for you to appreciate.
This will be the first of several posts on this subject.
Item #1) My Hula Dancer wallet:

This baby has been with me since the tender age of 15. I got it for free at a yard sale that our local church had to raise money for the Boy Scouts. That was a very profitable yard sale as far as scoring sweet junk goes, but I'll have to list those things at a later date. This wallet is a tri-fold black beauty with features, as you can see, a pretty nifty stitching of a Hula dancer. One of my favorite features of this wallet is that inside it's dependable Velcro fold, there is a pocket with a ZIPPER so that you will never lose your loose change. I once tried a different wallet for a while, but it just wasn't the same. I hope to actually carry money around in this wallet someday...

Item #2) Pantech Jest cell phone:

This is a fairly recent acquisition (less than a year?) and I LOVE it. This phone is the culmination of everything I want in a cell phone. It is small and compact, which I like. It was a full keyboard which has made my texting a delightful and blessed event compared to what it used to be. There is a nice large display for the size of the phone, a decent camera, a track pad with really convenient access to my alarm clock, and some fun politonal ring-tones that I never hear because it is always on vibrate mode. But they are there if I want them. The name Jest is strange, but oddly fitting. All in all, I wish I had another one to replace this one when it reaches it's distant and inevitable demise.

Item #3) My "On a Mission" t-shirt:

My beloved sister, who used to like me more than everyone else (or so I'd like to think), was an amazing package sender when I was on my mission. This is truly one of her gifts, and I have her to thank for many a Soft Batch cookie and pop-tart. One of the reasons that mi hermana was so great a package sender was that she included lenghtly letters, (often super dated but awesome nonetheless) toys, (such as a lightsaber), and even clothes. And here we arrive at the favorite item: my 'On a Mission' T-shirt. I don't know where she found it, but it is splendid. I used to work at a Utah State Park, which requires employees to wear a brown uniform. At first I detested this. But over time, I found that I couldn't help myself and every subsequent clothing purchase (and lets be honest, there weren't many before I got married) involved accruing yet more brown attire. So the solid brown of the t-shirt spoke straight to my heart. Then there was the text, which thought was immensely cleaver because, ... well, ... you know. This t-shirt ranks in the top five of my all time favorite t-shirts, and has the distinction of being the only one that is still staving off a threadbare demise.

Item #4) My Lifeguard travel backpack:

THIS BACKPACK IS AWESOME!!!
Ask anybody.
I REALLY wish I had another one because all good things must come to an end and I will probably weep like a child when this article bites the dust.
I found this gem in Peru in what is called a 'Cachina'. Picture a yardsale/handicraft fair vomited choatically around a busy Peruvian street in the degraded sty that is Juliaca and you might have a fair idea of what a cachina is like. You can find all kinds of interesting stuff, but on this day I was determined to replace a backpack that I had purchased earlier at another cachina that had literally disintegrated. I vowed that I wasn't going to by one of the flashy looking cheaply made bags, but that I would hunt until I found something that would last. When I finally laid eyes on this baby, I was tired of looking and I figured that even a heavily used canvas backpack would be better than anything else I could find. After paying the roughly $4 that it cost, I launched into what was become a never-ending honeymoon with this backpack. Seriously, this thing is possibly bulletproof, holds a shocking amount of stuff thanks to the drawstring top, and is shabby enough looking that I never worried about attracting undue thief notice. I bought the patches of the Peru and Chile flags, and patches of the Punisher symbol and another of Darth Vader and paid a shoe repair guy (also found where ever there are cachinas) to use some hardcore thread to sew them on. That whole operation cost me about 12 bucks. Than I paid a seamstress in Arequipa to shore up the holes and worn spots for about 4 dollars. So for a grand total of $20 I have a faithful companion that has accompanied me to both of my subsequent returns to S. America and has more personality than I can describe. If Indiana Jones had a backpack, ... this would be better than his. This backpack could dodge a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick, it's that amazing.

Sweat is a sweet last name.

2011-02-03T10:24:00.000-08:00

There have been many over the course of my life to comment on my surname. I have had people mock it, and praise it. In elementary school my parents had the unfortunate penchant to dress me in sweat pants and sweat shirts, which was basically inviting ridicule. Maybe they were trying to teach me an important life lesson, or maybe they were oblivious. Either way, I wasn't big on sweats until college and I rediscovered the joy of elastic waistbands. When I was young, I was also examined rigorously by my peers to determine whether or not I sweated more than was socially permissible. Needless to say I was a big proponent of antiperspirant, even before the free miniature Old Spice that was divied out in 5th grade maturation class.

Later on, people would intentionally mispronounce it in order to avoid offending me if they were wrong. They mostly say "sweet" rather than sweat, which is amusing but gets old. It is a good screen for tele-marketers though, so I guess there is balance in all things.

Finally, during my mission the "SW" together gave the Latins fits with pronunciation. There aren't any words in Spanish that feature the W anyway and so my name-tag caused general stammering and uncomfortableness. Basically, for all you Spanish speakers out there, the pronunciation works best (Su-et).

Despite all of the issues my surname has caused throughout the years, I am proud of it. There aren't a whole lot of us, and I am glad of that. It originates in England, and we even have a sweet (or Sweat) coat of arms. Check it out here:
http://www.4crests.com/sweat-coat-of-arms.html

So, I'm a Sweat. Wanna fight about it?

Weather permitting

2011-01-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

Well,
This was supposed to be an awesome post. But the lack of sunshine is cramping my style, therefore, it's going to be sub par. Although you undoubtedly are wondering what was going to be great about it, I can't tell you. You'll just have to turn in next week.

My favorite brother in law recently purchased me a copy of Star Craft 2. I think he just wants somebody to play with, but there you are.

Dancing: I am going to be dancing in the BYU Fiesta show in March. I will be dancing a Brazilian dance, and dang, it's fast. Also, as the newly appointed Publicity Chair for Global Citizens for Study Abroad (long I know), I am going to convince a bunch of poor zoobies to be in a baliwood style video to promote an international film contest. It should be fun, and how can you not want to do something like that after seeing this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRC4QrUwo9o

That little kid is cute btw.

Anywho, other than that go look at the dark, serious, political underbelly of sleepmuch8 by clicking on the political rants tab.

Introducing Push Button Podium

2011-01-18T09:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I did it, I launched the political blog. If you are interested in that kind of thing, (and you really should be), go check it out. There is a link on the side and if you are old fashioned, you can find it at www.pushbuttonpodium.blogspot.com.
All you need to know about it is over there, so go check it out.

Urinal Etiquette

2011-01-11T14:39:00.000-08:00

Today I had an experience that reminded me of something that I've wanted to bring up for a while now, and it happened in the men's room in the university library. For all of you sick and twisted people that read this, it is nothing sick or twisted, so read on. The event was what I consider to be a chief restroom faux pas, and the subject is Urinal Etiquette.

This is what happened:
I was standing in front of the far urinal (more on this momentarily), doing my thing, when another guy enters and approaches a urinal to relieve himself. Now, this is what you would expect an average Joe to do when entering a bathroom, but the problem was this: even though there were three vacant urinals, he chose the one RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

Now, for some of you, this may not be a big deal, and, truth be told, it isn't. However, there needs to be a general outlining of what I consider to be commonly observed rules that every guy should know instinctively. For those that don't know what these are, here are ten rules to pee by:

1) When approaching the urinal wall where one is being used, always choose the one that gives you the MOST distance from one currently in use. This is not just so you can feel comfortable about personal space and whatnot, but it is just d*** weird if you go right next to someone when you had the option not too.

2) When approaching the line of urinals, if you are the only one, choose the furthermost from the door and/or sinks. This will ensure that, even though it is highly unlikely that anyone will see your 'self'(or even looking), there will be even less of a possibility of this occurring. This phobia of other dudes sneaking a peek has much to do with rule number one as well.

3)When there are no available urinals, preferable to starting a line, use the stall. (contrary to popular practice, you can go number one just as easily as at a urinal, be advisedyou need to follow the same procedures you normally would, "if you tinkle... and all that")

4)In the event that ALL available urine depository units are occupied, you may form a line. In keeping with rule number 2, this should be furthermost from the door, and has the double sense of enabling you to access a stall should that be the first opening. ***MOST IMPORTANT*** is that you leave at least 4 feet of space between you an the guy you are waiting on. A personal note: one time at Lagoon, I was placed in the line situation and when I finally got to a urinal, the enormous black guy(not being racist, just descriptive) crowded to a mere half a foot away from me and proceeded (I imagine) to stare at my operation. Needless to say, it was an awkward situation. Not cool. Leave some space.

5) Don't look to either side. It is unnerving when you can tell from your peripheral vision that some dude is staring at you. Considering that there are good odds that dude is probably doing the same thing you are, this is just plain weird. Just keep your eyes lowered and focus on the task at hand... (heh heh). If there is a flyer or some other reading material at eye level or higher, it is OK and even expected that you read it; but not if it is over the adjacent stall, and certainly not if you have to crane your neck to see it a few stalls away.

6) Talking is unacceptable. In fact, humming, singing, eating, reading (magazine or book) and cell phone use (yes, even hands free technology) is strictly prohibited. This is one of the most violated rules, but also one of the most important. Only two buddies who know each other well can have a joking discussion while attending to bathroom business, and only if nobody else is present. If someone should enter, all conversation must cease. I suppose you can tell your good friends from your acquaintances by whether or not you can talk to them while taking care of restroom matters.

7) No excessive shaking. The Good Charlotte song of yesteryear, The Anthem gives you a good rule of thumb.

8) Don't put one hand up and lean on the wall. Actually, don't do anything strange. No sudden movements, no leaning, no spitting, no noises. Aside from the fact that men are notoriously poor multitaskers and this will place you in jeopardy of missing the target, this will tempt other urinal users to break rule # 5. Causing others to break the rules is nearly as deplorable as breaking them yourself.

9) Flush. This seems like a fairly standard protocol, but you'd be surprised at how many like to gun and run. Perhaps a violation of rule number five spooked them...

10) Wash your hands afterwards. Duh. But remember that just because you are free of the urinal yourself, you are still bound not to look at those less fortunate who are still otherwise engaged- rule #5 logic still applies.

Well, there you have it. I have had some interesting experiences going number one in my life, and can truthfully say that these are rules to live by. Once when I was a door to door salesman, I went in broad daylight while balanced awkwardly over a sewer grate. This was a desperate situation of course, but it was also rather hilarious. That job actually caused a few notable mishaps, such as the enclosed porch incident and the street lamp in the dark incident. That reminds me, Peru was a wealth of humor in that department. Aside from the drunken guys engaged in public urination (which caused Gluch and I coin the term "shleevy shleeve"), there are also urinals in the strangest places or in odd configurations. For example, the bus terminal in Arequipa has a eye level window that has no pane and looks out directly to the sidewalk and parking lot that runs the length of the bank of urinals.
And here is one of the more interesting middle of the street urinals in Tacna that I took a picture of (this was less than a block away from a house I lived in for 3 months while I was there).

But I digress...
Lest you think that these are just the deranged ramblings of one disgruntled urinator, I am inclined to direct you to a very informative post that a colleague in the blogosphere wrote that further develops the concepts outlined in rules 1 and 2: Urinal Protocol Vulnerability

Need even more alternative sources? Well, after about five clicks, I found that I am not the only proponent of Urinal Etiquette. Here are some important links to review:
Breaking the Unspoken Rule
How Men Pee In Urinals
The Rules of Urinal Etiquette

And, if you you really want to get serious about investigating the subject, visit:
The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette

The end of one heck of a semester.

2010-12-20T02:52:00.000-08:00

I was busy this past semester. Full time graveyard job, part time multimedia reporter/web editor for the Daily Universe, and a healthy 15 credit semester. I'm glad it's behind me. I am pretty sure that I got mostly A's and perhaps a B may have snuck in there, but by and large I am only too happy for how things went. This next semester, I bit adieu to the newsroom: they haven't the position for me and I haven't the time. It was enjoyable to be sure, but I had a limited schedule for them to utilize and was tired of having no free time at all.

Simply put, I have been too lazy to update. I have been alone lately since my wife has been in Peru, but even so, I couldn’t find the energy to write a blog. Maybe the biggest issue is that my laptop screen went mysteriously dark and I have been out of a computer. I have had access to computers, but I haven’t been here at work where the abundance of time seems to work well for me to actually write things. Apparently, the guy at Wasatch Computers thinks that it would be a good deal to fix my laptop screen for 350+ dollars. Since I could buy a new one for the same price, I beg to differ. I would like to get a new Macbook Pro, but they are so bloody expensive I highly doubt that will happen. We’ll see.
What I have done is watch Beetlejuice and the Nightmare before Christmas finally. Can you believe that I’d never seen them before? All in all, good flicks. It was weird to see Alec Baldwin so young, and seeing Micheal Keaton so bizarre, but there you are. Other things that I have done: I shoveled a lot of snow in Fruitland. It was less fun than you’d think. I also attended all three hours of church there for the first time in a long time. It was strange. I hardly recognize the people there anymore.
All of the family minus Michele (and she hardly counts anymore) went to see Tron in Roosevelt. First time I can remember seeing a movie with the whole family, and in Roosevelt no less. Lets just say that it was cold everywhere in the Basin, but especially in the theatre. The other three people there must have been regulars because they came well wrapped in blankets.
Tron… not a bad flick, but I happen to like Jeff Bridges. Lets just say that this movie demonstrated what I suppose an acid trip might be like.

Another reason I delayed updating my blog is that I wanted to post PDF’s of my final design project. This proved to be more difficult than I had originally thought, so you will have to go to my online portfolio here:

And download it.

I hope you like them, the investigative reporters handbook should be useful to all because I have linked every website listed so all you have to do is click on it to go to the resource. I hope somebody uses it because it took me FOREVER to do and if nobody uses that feature, it would be a royal waste of time.

Here at sleepmuch8 we pride ourselves in putting off posting for long stretches at a time and then posting massive posts that really should be broken up into three or four different posts. Continuing that noble tradition, here is a really funny article I read titled, “Dave Barry’s Year in Review”. It can be found here:

http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/01/01/1992746/dave-barrys-2010-year-in-review.html

And I highly recommend giving it a read. This has inspired my to write my own short “Year in review”. So here goes,

2010 was a pretty good year all around for me personally, but fairly lame as far as politics and such go. We’ll not worry about that though. Bad things that happened in 2010 include the BP Oil Spill and pretty much everything that happened on a national level of politics (except for elections). Justin Beiber got popular enough that I actually recognize one of his songs now and that is a minor tragedy. I kind of know what Jersey Shore is as well, which makes me sad for Television. BYU lost to the UofU in football and that is never acceptable, and none of the teams I wanted for the World Cup went as far as I’d hoped. Good things include new family members and international travel. Speaking of international travel, this brings me to the beginning of the year…
January
… We had a second reception in Peru for Malu’s side of the family and it was a lot of fun. What with the drinking, the dancing, the drinking, the lights, the drinking, and the personalized details of the party, it was a great time (my side of the family probably had less fun than the Peruvians because they missed out on the first, third, and fifth things that I listed). I probably would have enjoyed the whole thing a bit more and certainly would have enjoyed the meal more if I hadn’t had a vicious case of the runs, but there you go. Malu introduced me to lying around and watching TV, which is how we came to buy all of the seasons of “2 and a half men”. I also toured the countryside in style with my parents and Jon in the finest buses where we nearly froze to death and had near accidents frequently. (and by finest, I mean cheapest and not fine at all). We were all shaken by the experience, but had a good deal of fun. Also shaking in
February
was the country of Chile, which had the major Earthquake on my birthday. Not a pleasant way to start the day, to be sure. Also in February, I dress up in traditional costume (gently called by my sister and friends the ‘gay pirate apparel’) and do a marathon of dancing during the Candelaria. I was pretty amazing, and Malu was ok too. When we weren’t dancing in the mountains, we were visiting the ocean where I enjoyed an aspect of Peru I never could as a missionary, swimming. Through all of this, I love Malu’s little brother more and more…
and eat all the foods that I love in Peru.
March
was the month that I used to sneak away from my internship to visit my family in Chile. I decided that I needed to survey the damage for myself and to see if I could be of aid sharing my recent skills; such as: donating alternative lifestyle swashbuckling clothing or if preaching the doctrine of Charlie Sheen could help speed up recovery. It was good times, and I didn’t even mind the 80+ hours I spent busing through arid desert to make it happen. My family in Chile treated me to delicious food and reminded me of why I love Chile. Speaking of food, in…
April
…we spent practically the whole month filling up on foods that we wouldn’t be able to eat for a while. Which was ironic, considering that we had done the same thing four months previously when we left the States, and that Malu did it again when she left in December to go back to Peru. But I get ahead of myself. In April, I wrap up my internship, visits to members and people from my mission, and Malu and I bid adieu to the family and country. There was many a party in our honor and I gained back all of the weight that I had danced off during the Candelaria, which made lugging all of our baggage back to the States that much more uncomfortable at the end of the month. Highlight of that trip was the 12 hour layover in LA where we went and explored the town. We also managed to move back into BYU Married Shmucks and Family Housing and I went back to my job of watching boys sleep.
May
is when we bought C3P-O AKA, the Kia Rio and were glad to finally have a car. May was also when nothing really exciting happened. Towards the end of the month, Malu insisted we buy a decent TV in preparation of
June
and the World Cup, which took place in S Africa. We decided right then and there that we would go to Brazil for the next one, just see if we don’t. We spend a lot of time lying around, watching soccer and somewhere in all of that excitement; we discovered the greatness of 7-11 hotdogs and Bahama Mama’s- finally, something to accompany my Slurpies. Malu got a job at Heritage and our poor little Kia ends up parked there most of every day and of every night. This might also be around when Michele announced her pregnancy, which was big news and an ongoing spectacle as she began swelling more and more each time we saw her.
July
at some point during the summer, and I suspect it was this month, Malu got her license. That was good news for her since she got the freedom of transportation and good news for me since I didn’t have to play chaperone anymore. (although, I’d still frequently take her to work and retrieve her if she looked at me with cute puppy dog eyes.) I also believe that this was the great Sweat family camping experiment where the whole family, even Michele, Alan, and SJ’s kids went to the old logging grounds of the Uintah’s for nostalgia. It was weird to actually be in the area for recreation, rather than hard labor. And while I’m thinking of labor,
August
was the month where my classes, along with a second job working for the Daily Universe, began. It also marked the first time that I worked full time at nightwatch while taking classes. I am a glutton for punishment it would seem. Malu also started classes at UVU and got a sample of what working full time and classes was like. Lets just say that it was a busy time.
September
I shamelessly pad my resume by being selected to be a Freshman Foothold counselor. I traumatize the impressionable freshman and had a jolly good time choreographing a really silly dance number. Somewhere in this time of year, we start the habit of going over to Michele and Alan’s to play board games. We master Bang, Carcazonne, and Ticket to Ride.
October
I finally get a Halloween off from work and Joe fulfills his role of our ever-fearless chaperone to the UVU dance. Malu and I dress up as Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf. We looked pretty snazzy if I do say so myself. Joe went as himself. Joe was also the instigator of a dinner at a Peruvian restaurant where we got together for Shane’s birthday. Miracle of miracles, Asher and his wife went, unfortunately, we haven’t seen or heard from them since. I retire from the dance group that Malu and I participate in because it’s just too much along with my other things.
November
was noteworthy because mom made smoked turkey, which was awesome and delicious. BYU lost the game against the U, which was a bummer, but not as bad a deal as I’d thought.
December
Finals, and Michele gives birth to David, who is pretty cute. Malu jumps ship to Peru the day after the birth and Alan steps up his plans to get me obsessed with Star Craft 2. I shovel plenty of snow in Fruitland and am released from my Universe job. Owing to the overabundance of spare time, and lack of a wife to fill it with trips to the Mall and other such nonsense, I attend the gym A LOT.

Well folks, there you have it: a year in review. It was really busy there towards the end, but in this year I got the best grades of any 2 semester stretch I’d ever had, I finished my internship, I finished most of my minor, and I padded the resume quite nicely for that sometime in the not so distant future law school application. I learned a lot about design programs and photography, and have gained a new appreciation for the older generations. It’s been a good ride, and a not quite set in stone goal for the year is to blog shorter posts and more frequently. We’ll see, it is not a resolution, it would just be nice.

Interview with Aunt J and Uncle T

2010-12-08T13:23:00.000-08:00

For my media history class,I was given an assignment to interview and older person about their experiences with media. I was glad for this assignment because I've been meaning to interview my relatives for some time now, but just have been too busy to do so. Thankfully, Aunt Jackie and Uncle Ted love me and were willing to submit to an interview. It was good fun and at the end, and Jackie gave my wife and I some cake.

Here is the transcript of that interview. It is pretty long so I recommend reading it in phases.

Comms 301 Oral History Project
Interview with Ted and Jackie McNiell
Date of interview: November 11, 2010; Fruitland, Utah
Interviewer: Jason Sweat
Transcriber: Jason Sweat
Digital recorder.

Your grandpa, Jackie’s dad and mother got married and moved out here to Fruitland and they had, what was it?
Jakie-A sack of potatoes and a bushel of plums.
Ted- A sack of potatoes and a bushel of plums. In 1936, and that’s what they lived on out here, the first winter that they were married. Jackie and your grandpa and grandma sweat

Me- A sack of potatoes and a bushel of plums, that’s it?

My grandpa sweat, he had a little caw- and got milk from the cow and eggs from a chicken and that was it.

What jackies talking about, is I just wrote a thing that’s tongue in cheek.

Me- Oh great, lets here it.

Ted-Thing so that my kids and grandkids would know about what things were like when I was growing up. I did check and see what the prices were. A postage stamp was 2 cents, the year I was born, in 1931. And I could read it, I was reading it earlier

I was born in 1931, the year that all the banks failed. There was 2,500 banks that failed. And there were 5 million people unemployed. People were hungry. It was the year that Al Capone was convicted, and the Star Spangled Banner was adopted the national anthem. Top songs on the radio were “All of me” and “Heartaches”, some of them are still around. And a house, you could by a house for 6,000 dollars, the average American home cost 6,000 dollars. And a car, a brand new car cost 530 dollars. But nobody had any money, you gotta remember that. Milk was 50 cents a gallon, a loaf of bread costs 8 cents, a postage stamp was 2 cents, the average income for a worker was 1,400 dollars a year, and … you know, I say I came up in a damned hard world. (Laughter)

Just so my grandchildren and great grandchildren know, they think I’m old, they don’t know how old. Even my kids don’t know. I was born before Television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees, and ‘the pill’. There were no credit cards, no laser beams, no ball point pens. Ball point pens weren’t invented yet. There weren’t any pantyhose or air conditioners, or dish washers or clothes dryers- clothes were hung out to dry on the line- they froze in the winter, and man sure hadn’t walked on the moon, that’s for sure. Jackie and I got married first, and then lived together, that’s something new. (laughter) That’s really different now, every family had a father and a mother, until times changed so much.
When we were born, I used to call every man older than me “sir” and every lady, “ma’m”. It was long before gay rights. I remember when you were a “gay young blade,” you were a happy young man. That was before computer dating, or dual careers, or day care, or group therapy. That’s when the Ten Commandments and good judgment and common sense covered our lives, we were taught to know the difference between right and wrong, and to stand up and take responsibility for your actions. Serving your country was a privilege; living in the country was a bigger privilege. Amnesty for illegal aliens? Give me a break.
We thought that fast food was a fleet footed deer, and having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front door when the evening breeze started. Time share meant sharing time with your family. We never heard of FM, or satellite radios, or tape decks, or CD’s or laptops or yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. Mini skirts, belly button rings, and rock stars and rap artists and so forth. I don’t ever remember any kid blowing out his brain while listening to Eddie Arnold or Frank Sinatra.
Anything that was made in Japan was junk, and the term ‘making out’, meant that you’d done well on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonalds, Starbucks, Ebay’s were all unheard of. If a merchant would have charges a dollar fifty for a bottle of water, or four bucks for a cup of coffee, people would have run him out of town.
We had five and ten cents stores, where you could actually buy things for five and ten cents. Ice cream cones, a phone call, a pepsi, were all a nickel. Your nickel would also buy enough stamps to mail a letter and two posts cards. You could buy a new Chevy coupe for 600 dollars, but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day, ‘grass’ was mowed, ‘coke’ was a cold drink, ‘pot’ was what your mother cooked in, and ‘rock music’ was your grandma’s lullaby. ‘Aids’ were helpers in an office, ‘chip’ was a piece of wood, ‘hardware’ was found in a lumber store, and ‘software’ wasn’t even a word. And I’m of the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder I’m old and confused to say it’s a generation gap.

Sweat- What were some of the experiences that you can recall regarding to media. What were some of the earliest memories you have of dealing with media, that is to say, newspapers, radio, magazines, TV, internet, etc.?

Ted-You know when we lived down there (Fruitland), they had a radio, but there was no power. Jackie and I were married before there was power here in this town. And I remember when they used to have to, to hear the radio, uh, because you couldn’t afford two batteries, you’d have to go out to the car and get the battery, a 6 volt battery, and bring it in, and hook the radio to it, and play the radio. You had to park the car on a hill, because if you played the radio to long then the battery would be dead and the car wouldn’t starts. (Laughter) Now that’s a fact!

Sweat- You had to take the battery out of the car to listen to the radio?

Ted- To listen to the radio, you when out to the car, ya know. You should have had two batteries ..
(Jackie) That would been nice.
.. but back in those days you couldn’t afford it, so that was how they done it.

Sweat- What year was this?

Ted- 1948

Jackie- No, it was before that honey, I was just a teenager.

Ted- Well I know, but we didn’t get power till after we were married.

Jackie- When my dad used to do that, go out and get the battery, it was because he’d have to listen to the fights every Thursday night or something, and I was only, like fourteen. This was like back in the 40s? Early forties. Forties.

Sweat- What do you remember about hearing the news in this area- what is your earliest memory?

Jackie- Why don’t you tell him about when WWII started?

Ted- Well, uh yeah. But we lived up Red Creek and there wasn’t any power or anything up there. We’d have to go out, and in the car, we’d listen to the radio. They were going to listen to the prize fights, and the news came on over the car radio that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor. And my grandfather didn’t know what that meant. And my father told him, well, “it means we’re at war”. And he said, “No, we can’t be at war”. And my dad said “Oh yeah, we’re at war, if they’ve bombed Pearl Harbor.”
When was that, about 41? I don’t remember, exactly what year it was.

But we, uh, magazines, and newspapers, when we could get em, had to be news. And finally, later on, we did have radios. But I don’t remember, uh. (Laughter) We didn’t get much news out here. (More Laughter)

Sweat- Do you remember any of the names of the magazines or newspapers you used to get or read.

Ted- Yeah, Life. And Colliers. Life was the main magazine for everything that everybody went, everybody subscribed to life. I don’t remember a lot of sports magazines that my father read, you know, fishing and hunting magazines. But as for news of the world, it was what newspapers you could get, and those magazines, Life, and I guess Readers Digest was back then too, I don’t remember for sure.

Sweat- When did you personally first hear about The Great War, you mentioned once that you were too young to serve, but you heard about it, how did you hear about it?

Ted- Well we lived- my dad had a coal mine- up Red Creek. I think he had about 17 miners. And we had a cook house, and a bunk house And they had a cook hired to feed all these miners, and they were mining. And when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, all these young men who were draft age, they all came down and joined the army and the navy and left him alone, up there in the mine. It was just him and his brother and this old cook. And they couldn’t mine out the coal fast enough, and uh,… the mine caught fire. Because all his help was gone. He went into Salt Lake to get some help. From the government, and they sent out a little engineer, just young, just graduated out of college. And he checked the coal, and he put a thermometer back in the mine and he said he thought it would be all right. But it caught fire before he got back to Salt Lake (laughter).
So that was quite a shock to everybody. Then the government had to bring out, big machines, to cover up the mine, to keep from burning.
And then we moved down, and he moved out into other coal mines and lost his leg in a coal mine. During the war, everything boomed. And…. Gosh, I don’t know what else to tell you, it’s not about media anyway. There wasn’t any media when I was young. It was hard to get to know what was going on. Really hard.

Jackie- When the first television come to Salt Lake, remember, we were married in 1950, and we went into my uncles house and they had this huge, huge box, and the screen was like this (about 6 in by 6in). And they was all crowded around, and this was when television first came into to Salt Lake City, and they had this great, big, huge television down in ZCMI in the window and people would go down, they’d turn it own, even at night, you could walk down at night, and the store would be closed, but you could stand there and watch the news and anything like that on the television.

Sweat- How many people would go down to watch it?

Jackie- Oh lots. Lots and lots, people would be crowded around it.

Ted- There’d be crowds around it all day, out on the sidewalk. You couldn’t get down the sidewalk, for the people standing there.

Sweat- So that was when TV first came to Salt Lake, can you remember when you first got one in your house?

Ted- It was many years later that we got one in our house. It was Springville. (Jackie- it was about 1958)

Sweat- Do you remember what kind of TV it was?

Ted- It was a little black and white RCA. Big box, little screen. About like that fireplace with a tiny screen (about a 3 ft by 3 ft box with a 6 in screen).

Sweat- When you served during the Korean War, did you have anything to do with the media. I know there were magazines, publications by the military, such as Stripes and such, did you ever have anything to do with that.

Ted- I never got any schooling. We lived up there, I went to Duchesne for a little while, but I never graduated from high school or anything. My whole education is from reading. That’s one thing that I have done, I’ve read all my life and I read everything. And I’ve read a lot.
That ship I was on, at the time, was a mine sweeper, was a state of the art, most expensive ship per foot in the Navy at the time. Everything was all non magnetic you know, it was a wooden ship. All the metal was non magnetic, it was either beryllium or aluminum and you couldn’t have a pocket knife, or a wrist watch. And they issued us special shoes with no nails in the shoes. And the ship was made to go over a magnetic mine, 8 ships could go over and number nine would blow up, or 28 ships could go over it and the next one would blow up. So, we would go over it and then we’d send a big electrical pulse down behind to blow them up. So that’s was it was designed for. So I had to do a lot of reading. They had aircraft engines, and the metals, so I had to do a lot of reading to learn. That’s what I did, take care of the engines.

Sweat- What were some of the favorite publications that you can remember, that you subscribed to?

Ted- I always subscribed to popular mechanics, and popular electronic magazines, and anything to do with diesel engines. Diesel engines used to be really popular you know, and that’s what I always read- any technical magazines that I could get with anything to do with mechanics or electronics or engines. I used to subscribe and read all of those. I guess that’s how I got by, because that’s the only education I had (Jackie- self educated).

Sweat- Aunt Jackie, what do you remember about when you were young in your family, what do you remember about news?

Jackie- Not very much, because we were really limited. We didn’t even get the power in Fruitland till what? 51? And even then we couldn’t afford to get the radio that plugged in. It was mostly magazines and, you know, word of mouth.

Sweat- Well, maybe jumping ahead a little bit to when you two were married in Springville. Did you have a radio then?

Jackie- Oh yeah. We always had a radio, in fact, I think that’s one of the first things we bought, like silly kids are, we bought a radio- and entertainment. Back then what was it called? (Ted- record players, a big round disk record player.) Yeah, a record player.

Sweat- Do you remember any of the names of shows that you used to listen to on the radio?

Jackie- Oh, (laughter) oh, grandma, loved Jules Wilk (SP?)

Ted- It was music show, it played some old time music. It was a musical variety show, they danced, and sang.

Jackie- But before that, what was it? Red Rider? When we were little, help me out with some of the names. The Lone Ranger?

Ted- Yeah they had radio shows, The Lone Ranger and Gene Audrey, and Roy Rogers had radio shows that went on television later. But hey were on radio first.

Sweat- How was that, how was listening to a show on the radio? I can’t really imagine a show without images because I’ve always had them, but what was it like to listen to one of those shows?

Ted- Well, you would here, somebody I guess, you could hear the horses running, you know, and then people hollering, then gunshots, and then somebody would yell, “Here come the Indians” and (laughter, heh heh) It was pretty fun. And I, you know, I still got, I found a tape, an 8 track tape a while back that was the Lone Ranger.

Jackie- Instead of having ones that are on TV now, the, my grandmother listened to Helen Trent, which would be like ‘One life to live’ you know (Ted- soap operas) Yeah, soap operas. But they were on radio, and she never missed, my grandmother, she had to hear ‘Helen Trent’ every day. And it would just tell what this one was doing and then this one would talk and then this one, you know. Like you say, it’s hard for you to imagine because we could picture these people in our minds, and everybody probably had a different picture of course, but there were several of those that was popular. And that was back, back before the 40’s.

Sweat- Well, you saw the wars on television, more closely than before, what was that like, seeing war close up through television?

Ted- Well, they had news reels, before television. Why they, when you’d go to the movies, then they’d have what was called the ‘news reel’, it was a news program. And it would show you how the war was going and they’d show, bombs dropping andyou know. In fact, they took actual pictures and would send them back, of how the war was going in Japan, and how the war was going in Germany. People would go to the movies, more or less just to see those half an hour news reels. That’s where we got our news till the television came.

Sweat- And what about during WWII, what about writing? There were some journalists over there, do you remember any of them?

Ted- Yeah, Ernie Pyle.

Sweat- And what do you remember about Ernie Pyle, who was he?

Ted- Ernie Pyle was a news reporter that went right with the troops, they issued him a uniform and he’d take his camera, and his type writer and he’d send dispatches from the war. And he lived right with the soldiers. He died, I remember when he died, not too long ago, it was just a few years ago now ***Ernie Pyle actually died in 1945 in WWII*** He would type all these out and he’d send them someway, he’d send them back to the stations in the states. And that’s how we got the news, right from the front lines.
They had a program on him here, a while back when he did die, it’s been some years ago I guess. He was kind of a hero. He wrote stories about the troops, and sent photographs. I remember seeing Life magazine and there’d be a picture of the troops standing in the mud eating their rations or crouched in the trenches, and in their tanks, and he flew in their planes. He had, I think, if I remember right, he might have gone with that plane that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima. Don’t know if he was in on that or not, but that’s the kind missions he went on, and he just documented them, so that we, well, everybody had to take Ernie Pyle’s word for how the war was going because he was about the only one—there were others, but he was one of the more famous ones.

Sweat- What did your parents think of the invention of the television?

Ted- Oh, it was a miracle, and it was good, because my dad was paralyzed, so he, he couldn’t do much except sit and watch the television. He’d had a stroke and was paralyzed on one side. He’d lost one leg before and then,… so it was good entertainment for him, he enjoyed it, a lot of shows.

Jackie- And your grandpa, Grandpa Sweat, it was a miracle for him, because he loved westerns, so when the television come, and it was a little while before they could afford one, but anyway, when it come he loved the western movies, that was his thing- and when he got ill, and couldn’t do much, like Grandpa McNeill, well he, could be entertained and the time went by faster and this was I think in the 50s?

Sweat- When did Grandpa die?

He passed away in 74. And dad McNeill in 69. His dad passed away before mine. And my dad, he enjoyed keeping up with the news, he liked to know what was going on. And of course the westerns and conferences and things like that.

Sweat- Thorough history, media has been used by the Church (LDS) a lot, to spread the Gospel and a lot other things. What are some of the things that you’ve seen firsthand, in that process, the churches use of media?

Jackie- One of the first things is the Tabernacle Choir, they’ve been around how many years? At first, they had to pass things around, and it was very makeshift, in their first broadcast. It was interesting, how they stood on ladders, and passed, microphones is what I’m trying to say, back and forth to get the first broadcast of the Tabernacle Choir, and that was quite amazing And that was about 100 years ago. And that was way back. And that was good for the church.

Ted- And that was good for the church. I can remember back, when they had little film strips.

Sweat- Along with the media and the church, I am reminded of General Conference, and how originally, you had to go to the meeting to hear what was said. And now, it is a lot different, do you remember anything about that change?

Ted- Well, they always published a magazine with the conference talks in it. And they’ve always published them.

Jackie- They did print them in the newspapers, just like they do now, like in the Deseret News.

Sweat- Do you remember the first conference you saw on TV?

Jackie- It was probably first back when we first got our television, must have been during the sixties.

Sweat- Well, you listened to them on the radio as well right?

Ted- Yes, we always listened to Conference on the radio.

Sweat- You can remember when dvd’s and vcr’s came around. What can you tell me about that?

Ted- Well, the first thing like that to come around was the old 8 tracks, and I still have some of them- I don’t remember exactly when it was. It was years ago. And then, back then, one of my friends got one in a car and we went all over showing everybody, playing music on a tape in a car.

Sweat- That was at the time where you couldn’t really have recorded music in your car.
Ted- Oh no, uh uh. I mean, all you had was a radio in the car, just a radio. You couldn’t have recorded music at all in a car. Until then, until the 8 track. I think it was in the 70’s. They were really expensive to get. Then, what are those little ones called?

Sweat- Cassettes?

Ted- Yeah, then came the cassettes.

Sweat- And now MP3’s. Lot of change in a short time, what were your impressions of that?

Ted- You could take that that little MP3 now, and tell somebody in 1950 or 60, that you had that many songs on that and they’d been beat you up. (laughter). (Jackie- They’d lock you up). Oh yeah, they’d say that you were crazier than a loon, and you couldn’t convince anybody of that. I remember, in those Popular Mechanics that I used to get, way back, reading and they were predicting these cell phones, and satellite phones. And that was back, in the … 1960’s somewhat when an article came out in Popular Electronics, or Popular Mechanics, one of those books, and said someday they’ll bounce beams off or satellites or stars or something and that you’d be able to have a wireless phone. And you couldn’t convince people of that, in that day they wouldn’t believe.

Jackie- I can remember in my last days of school, they told us there’d be something like a microwave. I mean they didn’t call it that, but it would be an oven, but it wouldn’t have to have wood burning. It would be, you know, a stove, and we were all excited about that and we couldn’t believe what they were talking - that the microwave would come, into existence, we thought that was crazy.

Ted- In our lifetime, when we went on our first mission to India, we were over there teaching and the only thing we had- that we had access too- was a little film strip. You’d put it in a little machine with a little light behind it and we had, uh, Johnny Lingo, you ever heard of Johnny Lingo (Sweat- Yeah… Muhana you ugly?) Yeah! We had Johnny Lingo and we would show those people. But you’d have to turn it one clip at a time. And that was, when we were on our first mission, in 1987.

Sweat- And during your last mission (of three) had things changed a lot?

Ted- Oh yeah- on our last mission we had fax machines and all kinds of things. Of course, the thing you have to remember is that our first mission we were in India, and so, even then we were behind the times because we were in a remote part of India. If we had been in other places, it would have been better.

Sweat- Uncle Bernard and a few other folks, were on active duty during Vietnam, what do you remember about seeing the news and seeing images during that time. I think it’s generally recognized that the tone, of the media coverage for that was different than from other wars. What do you think of that, or what were some of the impressions that you got.

Ted- Well yeah, well WWII was covered by newsreels in the theatre and then, you’d hear it on the radio. Then we got television, and you could see things on black and white television, but boy… I’ll tell you, when these last wars started, and when CNN went right with the soldiers, well, that certainly changed things. I don’t know if it’s good or bad, …I don’t know. At least it brought it home to the people, the wars home to the people. So they could see what the soldiers were going through, I mean before it was pretty remote. People didn’t actually know what was happening. So when CNN went right with the soldiers, and actually broadcast pictures back, why, that was pretty traumatic stuff. I know it was for me anyway.

Sweat- Would you say that you were more worried about people during the WWII era that you had less exposure too through the media or more worried about the people during Vietnam, because of the media coverage.

Ted- Well, I don’t know. That’s a hard question for me. I mean, not knowing anything, you naturally worried, and you expected anytime that some soldier would drive up with a telegram saying that those people you loved were lost.
I don’t know, like I say, when you can see what’s going on, when they broadcast pictures of it- of the bombs going off or the people dying, why, that puts you in a different frame of mind. You tend to worry more, about it, I guess … it was a hard time either way.
In WWII people would go off, and you’d just have to worry. I don’t know, which would be the worst.

Jackie- I think it was worse to see it, you’re reminded more, because it’s constantly on the air. Like the Korean War and this, the one we’re still in. (Before) It was a worry and yet life went on, because you were so far removed from it. It was just when things like, you know, when Pearl Harbor got bombed and when the Utah ship went down, and all these things, so then, for a while, it was all really dramatic, and then it would ease up,
Depending on the person too. I mean, there was this one family had five sons. All five sons they had were in WWII, and it was a constant worry for her, that mother. And she didn’t go out and socialize or anything so she just stayed home, worrying- with five stars, back then they gave you stars for each member that was in the service. So she had five stars, hanging in her window. So naturally it was more of a worry for her, as it was, and then depending on the faith that you have, I mean, she wasn’t active. So it does depend on the person, the beliefs and faith and things.

Sweat- What do you think the impact the media has had on this generation, as opposed to the impact that the media had on your generation?

Jackie- I think that the impact now, a lot of it is negative. Naturally, when the population grows, there’s more chance of negative in the world. In my time, there was less and you didn’t get exposed as much.

Ted- The media has had a big impact on these later generations as opposed to ours, like I said earlier when I was talking to you, when I was young, every family had a mother and a father and now, girls don’t even have to be married to have babies. I guess we’ve always known that, but you didn’t think about it back in our generation. I think that sometimes people were treated very badly when somebody did make a mistake. But mostly, families were together more, and now with the media and the busy life you don’t have the interaction that we had back in our generation.
But I wouldn’t want to go back, you know, to the times before we had technology. I just think it’s… There’s so much you can learn now. Where I lived so remotely, if I’d of had access to this stuff, the access now, then that there is now, I could have learned a lot more, done a lot better.

Sweat- How has media and communication changed your relationships with people, I mean, now you have friends from Uganda when before, when you were coming up, you maybe would never have seen any African Americans.

Ted- I certainly am glad for the technology that we have now. I just wish that human beings would use it a little, you know, better for good things.

-Last half of section 7 needs transcribing (about India and Africa contrast of then and now)-

Sweat- What are some major events that you remember learning of through the media?

Jackie- I remember distinctly when President Kennedy was assassinated. I was watching the tv and it came on the air and then they were stopped, all the programs, and it was brought on. And to me that was traumatic, for me, that was terrible, to see him in the car- dying. And still, I can picture in my mind very clearly, what I was doing that day. Because it came on the TV.
And then of course, whenever the President of the United States comes in, you watch that. And the church, all the conference and things, being able to watch President Hinkley come in and his life. I think that it helped you feel closer.

Ted- The dropping of the atomic bomb and the landing on the moon, were big impacts that I remember. President Kennedy’s assassination.

Jackie- One that I remember too was when those astronaughts were killed, when they didn’t make it back too Earth, I was watching the TV that day too and that was, that was stunning. That you could watch something like that in action. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain, it’s really, it really hits you hard. When you watch something actually happen, when I watched that day, I was thinking, that isn’t happening. But when the pieces started going…

Ted- That’s what it was when President Kennedy got assassinated. I mean, you saw it happening. The news media was right there. First, they got the shooter, then somebody else killed the shooter. And you actually had pictures of it, right there in the television

Jackie- The day the guy got shot in jail, the guy that killed President Kennedy, and then he got shot. And it was just, there, right in front of you and it was crazy. I felt the same way the day those astronaughts didn’t make it, it took me a minute or two to realize, this is really happening, their blown apart. When you’re watching it, and it’s so exciting going to the moon …

Sweat- What are some feelings that you have experienced through exposure to the media, such as sad, happy etc.

Ted- Well, one of those things, the assassination of President Kennedy, I certainly felt bad about that. Uh, the bombing of Pearl Harbor, was on the radio, but most people didn’t know how serious it was, like my grandfather, who said, ‘we can’t be at war’. But others, like my father, who was an ex marine and who had been to Pearl Harbor had to tell him. But I don’t think many people knew, when the news came on about the bombing of Pearl Harbor, it didn’t hit people that hard. Now, when you seen the twin towers, when you seen them fall. Or when you seen the space shuttle blow up, you actually see it. So media, I mean modern media definitely has a big effect on people.

Jackie- I remember crying both times, I just broke down in tears, because I remember thinking, what a tragedy- those poor families watching this. I remember the media too, when I was a little girl, about 8 or 9, during WWII, I remember that time, when grandpa was listening to the radio, the prize fights or whatever. When he brought the radio in and we heard that, it came to life to me because I had uncles that were in there, in the war, and one uncle’s ship got hit, and sliced in half. And even today, I had to make a little piece of cake and send it to Ray, to thank him, for being in that. And the media did that, it brought that to us, and made it reality. I remember when I was a little girl, they had air raids, and you had to go, and get down under the desk. And they would say, in case of a bomb, in case they bombed Salt Lake, that you’d have to get down under your desk and hide, and they told us what to do. And that was all through the media and the newspapers and that year, I did live in Salt Lake, my mom and dad and we had more access to the newspapers and to what was going on in the world. And it made such an impact on me, that when they said lets have a drive, through the radio, they said lets have a big drive to get rubber, why me and my little girl friend, we took our rubber dolls down and we threw them on the pile because we wanted to help. (laughter) kind of a small thing, but it was through the media that we knew that, or we wouldn’t, you know. Even out here where it was kind of hard to get news you still had that, … connection.

Well, there you have it. It took me forever to transcribe but it was worth it.

Nobody seems to blog anymore... :(

2010-12-05T01:54:00.000-08:00

No comments, no new posts. Last update: Months ago. This is the environment that I continue to launch (futilely?), new blog posts. Is it worth it? Lets hope so. By the time you (singular) read this, a week at least will likely have past. I haven't had a lot of time, but I will put forth my stuff anyway:
News for me: I will soon be on my own for a few weeks as Malu goes down south. This shouldn't be a big deal.

I got pseudo laid off form the web desk. I am not going to lie, this made me immensely happy. Apparently, they are cutting the number of web editors from 4 to 3 and they need someone who can work any night (presumably without it affecting their real/night job). I have been dreading more and more a semester as busy as the one I just went through but didn't know how to get out of my responsibility without quitting, which I didn't want to do for reference purposes. Thankfully, my problem was solved for me and I came out looking like a victim, which is ok by me :). Anywho, I should be able to go the gym now a bit and not be such a chunky monkey.

Politic Chick is about to pop- Pregnancy and all. Every now and again she will horrify me with a new fact that I didn't know about child bearing, and I get sick inside. It's creepy that this alien life form will soon be among us, but let's hope that it (he) pulls the features of both parents. But then again, isn't that always the hope?

I found an AWESOME song that I am digging. Mumford and Sons, where have you been? I actually heard this song on the radio (shocking I know), and made sure to remember the chorus so I could google them. Here is a clean version of a great tune, you can thank me later.

For my soon to be former job, here is something I have been up too:

A construction audio slide show. I didn't write the story, but I did all of the audio slide show except record the interviewee, I just included Amanda's name on the sideshow part because that's how I roll, I'm kind of gallant. (and humble.
http://universe.byu.edu/node/12509

BYU lost: This was a bummer, but I can't really feel bad for some reason. I guess it was just the nature of the game, hard played and entertaining. Even though we lost in the last second, it's something that has happened to Utah before as well as us. Just another chapter in a good rivalry. I do think that our team generally put performed, but I'm sure a certain someone would debate that. Meh, only thing that matters is who won, bad calls, could-have-beens, and all the rest fade into whatever it is that no one cares about. At least this year, no one 'hated' anyone publicly...

Ironically, during the time that I was working on my construction project, I got a ticket for speeding in a construction zone. Everyone hates getting tickets, so no need to dwell on that. Let's just say that Orem City is 200 dollars richer and I'm going to have to spend 3 hours next Saturday going to a certain type of 'school'.

I could go on, but since there's a good chance that nobody really reads this, why???

Veterans Day

2010-11-11T01:47:00.000-08:00

I love vets.
Not so much the animal doctors, although they're ok too, but the men (and women) who have served the country in times of conflict. I even wrote a blog for the Universe about it:
http://byudailyuniverse.com/blog/?p=6255

hope you like it.

Some other stuff I have done for the Universe:
Wintervention Video
http://byudailyuniverse.com/blog/?p=6132

An intramural story I helped Danny Ng with- good times. Not the most quality work, but there you are.
http://universe.byu.edu/node/11460

Other than that, I got a new cell phone. The review said, "This is not a Man's phone". ... oops.

Much has happened.

2010-11-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

Don’t think that just because I have been disconnected from the blogosphere, that nothing has happened that I don’t wish to comment on. Every day I think of something that I should include in a post, but the minutes, hours, days, and weeks slip by to quickly for me to get them down.

1) So, back peddling a bit, I would like to say first of all, VIVA CHILE!!!
That’s right, the 33 were rescued and it was a grand time for all involved. There is much I would have written about the event, but that’s old news. I’ll have to be content with a electronic ‘high-five’ to all involved and a warm swell of pride for me individually.

2) There were positive things happening in the election recently that I am hopeful will get things pointed in the right direction with our government- that is to say, reining it in a bit. I am also going to be launching a soapbox blog, where I will spout political drivel. A recent 5+ hour discussion about history and politics with my good buddy Joe will be the motivator behind this fun move. Let’s just hope I am better at preaching my ignorant views than entertaining the masses with this blog, eh?

3) BIG GAME THIS WEEK- I’m talking about Utah instead of BYU for once. Our game is important to us, but this will be the mother of all college football games played in this state ever. I think that deserves a mention. Even if my partner on the Red-Blue analysis is a WANK slacker who never updates, I will say this. I hope TCU wins out. Not because I hate the U, but because I think they have a better chance of going to the top. And also, because if Utah won and then somehow lost to us (an unlikely situation to be sure) than I would feel conflicted between my eternal desires of sticking it to the BCS on one hand, and also my other eternal desire to stick it to the U of U. Whatever happens, its like the CLASH OF THE TITANS IN SLC>

4) Police beats- not as good as usual, but here are a few humorous ones:
Oct. 20 Three males were seen entering the Wilkinson Center. One of them went and suspiciously changed his pants. When officers arrived, they searched the area that the student changed in and found nothing.

Oct. 21 A suspicious-looking 33-year-old male was reported walking around the Widtsoe Building. When police confronted him, he said that he was looking for a job.

Oct. 22 A suspicious-looking gray truck was reported in the Wymount Park parking lot because its alarm was going off for about half an hour.

Oct. 22 A woman reported two separate, suspicious incidents. The first, the woman received several suspicious phone calls. Second, she had her keys stolen from her car. Both she and the police are wondering if the two incidents are related.

5) My work for the Universe, go look at it and comment. I don’t know as to the quality of the Intramurals video, we were operating on rough scheduling issues, but I thought it turned out okay.

6) Kudos to Mario Vargas Llosa for winning a Nobel Prize. He’s a Peruvian. More about him here if you care:
http://www.aarp.org/personal-growth/life-stories/news-10-2010/mario_vargas_llosa_nobel_committee_appreciates_what_authorities_didn.html?CMP=KNC-360I-GOOGLE-PER-LST&HBX_PK=mario_vargas_llosa&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=mario%2Bvargas%2Bllosa&utm_campaign=G_Personal%2BGrowth&360cid=SI_196001729_6990198901_1

7) Halloween. I finally got one off from work and was determined to enjoy it if it killed me. We went to the UVU dance party and the dance part was pretty crappy. Too many people and gay pop music. Luckily, there was a hypnotist who was quite entertaining. The line to get in took about 40 minutes and was none to pleasant, the plus side being that we were able to see more peoples costumes. I enjoyed the 4 guys dressed as teletubbies. The guy dressed as a pimp with his two friends as his 'hoes' was also good times. Malu and I were Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. I tried to scare some people with the costume, but I was spotted by a paranoid type before I could execute the fright... RAGE!

Hanging on by two fingernails.

2010-10-16T13:36:00.000-07:00

Been busy, as usual. Something that I have been meaning to do for a while now is post a few of the more hilarious police beats.
These are ridiculous, and often demonstrate the 'dark' 'seedy' underbelly of BYU campus. They are actual police reports filed at BYU and then read by a reporter at the DU (Daily Universe) and published weekly. Here are some gems from lask week:

Oct. 7 In Lot 48, A black Toyota was parked against a hill and the windows were fogged up. When the officer approached, the officer discovered a male and female in the car. After running the plates on the car, the officer noticed the owner of the car is banned from UVU’s campus for a sex offense. The officer warned the young woman that her companion was dangerous. The woman assured him that she was fine and the officer left

Oct. 5 A suspicious individual was knocking on apartment doors in Wymount Terrace wearing a Guy Fawkes mask. When the officers arrived, Guy had once again eluded the police.

Oct. 5 Two male students were arguing over dating. One was having a difficult time getting dates and was telling the other student about it. The second student joked that he didn’t have a difficult time getting dates and he could date the other student’s mother. The first student took offense and slammed the second student against a wall and brandished a knife. Upon arrival, the police arrested the first student for aggravated assault. However, the second student decided not to press charges, so the first student was released.

Oct. 5 At Helaman Halls, several males covering their faces with T-shirts were running down residence hallways throwing firecrackers. The perpetrators were gone before the police arrived.

Yep, riduculous.

I've been bouncing back and forth between my two jobs and school, so I have been hard pressed to update. In fact, I am currently sitting in the newsroom and watching the TCU-BYU game. I am forced to multitask to get anything done, and for those who know me, that should be worrisome. I went to the last BYU game with my father. A really nice guy named Brandon who is the Editor here at the DU hooked me up with tickets. Surprisingly enough, BYU won, and the weather was good.

As I said a while ago, a feature that I was going to run was Good Song/Bad Video. This song might not be considered good by many of you, but I like it. And also, even though the video is really bizarre and pointless,I like it aswell for some reason. Must be the mariachi at the end. Who knows. Maybe it's the bird and monkey. But all that doesn't change the fact that the video sucks. I mean, it's generally considered bed form and amateur to show an example of what ever the song lyric says as it is said. Anyway, enjoy:

Also, just because I found this commercial and find it hilarious.

Here are a FEW pics of Freshman Foothold for those who want em.

2010-09-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been busy- as if you didn't know that by now. But here are a few things that I have been working on:

http://universe.byu.edu/node/11028
This is a video I did for International Fair.

http://byudailyuniverse.com/blog/?p=6010
This is a photo blog that I shot of Y Trail.

There are more things but you can look for them on universe.byu.edu.

And here are the photos:

Because the people demand it...

2010-09-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

I'm a busy guy, so I apologize for the lateness of this update and leaving you all hanging. I have two jobs, for those who don't know, and they have been keeping me very occupied. Oh, and 15 credit hours. So you can understand why these posts aren't as frequent as we'd like. Anywho, I recently received an e-mail inquiring about my recent escapade with the Freshman Foothold retreat. So for all of those who wish to know, here are a few points:

A few questions to consider might be:
-How exactly are you involved in Freshman Foothold? (Or how did you get involved?)
I got involved in Freshman Foothold originally as a freshman when I was invited by the MSS office to go on the retreat. I had such a great time and learned such useful things that I have always remembered that experience throughout my university career. Because of these fond memories, when I received an e-mail calling for volunteers and mentors for this years FF Retreat, I was only too happy to sign up. Apparently there were a lot of others who answered the e-mail to be a mentor, but I was lucky enough to be chosen and was glad for the chance. Something interesting is that I was the oldest mentor and the only one married. I don't know why, but it was interesting. As a mentor I drove a group of Freshman up to Springhaven in Hobble Creek Canyon in a BYU van and directed my group of 12 freshman during the course of the overnight trip. I also organized our dance number which was, well, pretty awesome.
-What are the main purposes of the Freshman Retreat? Do you think these purposes were accomplished?
The main purpose for Freshman Retreat is to aide students in making the transition from high school to university life, and to really let them understand that the MSS office is there for them whenever they need as a counsel and support. Also, to have a TON of fun. I am not sure if the students had as good a time as I did, but I suspect that they did have a great experience and I'm sure that the goals of the MSS office were met and exceeded with this activity.
-How do you think the program helps new freshman adjust from high school to college?
I think the most important thing for any student who has recently left home of the first time is to learn how to wisely manage time and relationships. There were workshops about those topics and inspired devotionals that I know helped me become better educated about important facets of university life.
-What kinds of other activities are planned for Freshman Foothold throughout the year?
I am not sure what other activities are planned, but I am sure they will all be both fun and educational and I hope I can get involved in them in someway as well.

So there you go. In addition to these good times, I made some new friends, played some Phase 10 and got into a battle royale (a good kind) with Melba the coordinator in charge.
The activity was great fun, a shout out to my group: Heaven, Mika, Rachael, Michelle, Giselle (yeah, there were hard to keep straight name-wise), Sheldon, Phoebe, Maria, Jenae, Miriam, and Brenda. They are a good bunch. We called ourselves the Kool-aides and our cheer was high on the awesome scale. I do love Kool-Aide. We were almost the ‘Slurpies’, but even my dedicated freshman wouldn’t go for that.

There will be more things posted later.

Impressionable freshman need YOU!

2010-08-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

Well folks, I have been selected from amongst thousands of candidates to be a Freshman Foothold mentor. What is this you ask? Well, I'll tell you. Freshman foothold is a program that is sponsored and organized by Multicultural Student Services at BYU. This entails an overnight event in which around 150 multicultural freshman are taken to Spring Haven lodge up Hobble Creek Canyon for an overnight activity with devotionals, workshops, dances, and presentations. I was selected to be a mentor of 12ish wonderfully optimistic/naive Freshman for this activity which will take place next week. I am told that I was selected primarily for my awesomeness, which is substantial.
Now, for those of you who know me (I'm looking at you politicchic), you are probably cringing internally and questioning whether or not the Freshman Foothold selection committee is composed of sadists, psychos, pirates, and ruffians. Probably. But that doesn't change the fact that I, and therefore you, are in a position to impact/scar the next generation of BYU tadpoles.

I am planning on printing up a list of REAL HELPFUL advice for each of my little buddies (there will be girls and boys). I am going to be putting advice that will really help them during their time at BYU.

This is what I would like from you: One thing that you wish that you'd have known about when you were a Freshman that you didn't learn until later.
We're looking for the best tips, tricks, ideas, and philosophies- NOT the standard 'get involved', or 'do the readings before class' type of advice. That's common sense and I am sure they will get that from other sources. I need your combined wisdom to make their experience as worthwhile as possible. The focus of the workshops is relationships- between a student and roommate, professor, opposite sex, and other students.

Extra credit: I am also going to make a mock 'Worse Case Scenario' cards to hand out to the kids in my group. They are supposed to be funny/realistic. It will have a scenario written on the front of the card, for example:
You come home late one night to your apartment (around 1 AM) and find your roommate engaging in 'petting' with their significant other. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Then on the other side will be something like this:
A) Yell at your roommate and throw a chair at them.
B) Apologize and offer to be lookout for them and run interference with other roommates.
C) Curl up into the fetal position and cry until they go away.
D) Throw a bucket of ice water on them.

Anyway, something along those lines. If you have a scenario idea, email me. They are supposed to be silly, so no worries there, and The idea isn't to give them an acceptable solution, they can think of that on their own, but to get them to think about things in a humorous way. Thanks if you help, and if you don't.... well. Fine, be that way.

5 Greats of the 80's

2010-08-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

The other day at work I watched an 80's movie that I had never heard of before. It is called 'Big Trouble in Little Tokyo'.
It Was Awesome.
Kurt Russel. John Carpenter. Demons. Kung Fu. Ridiculous. Amazing.

This reminded me of many great 80's flicks. Here are my current favorite five action comedies of the 80's:
5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo

4) Romancing the Stone
Micheal Douglas when he wasn't old and creepy. Danny Devito. Villains with crocodile pits. Suave mambo dancing cut scene.

3) The Goonies
Little Asian kid from the Temple of Doom. Chunk. Villains falling on their delicate bits chasing the heroes. Great pirate parallels. Sean Ashton. "Hey you Guys!".

2) Who is Harry Crumb
"I've been so thoroughly trained that I don't even have to think before I speak". Chasing a plane on a stair car. Best use of Bonnie Tyler's- 'I need a Hero' ever... Period. Tic Tac Toe on a strangers stomach. Brilliant. Fat Guy Hero.

1) Better Off Dead
John Cusack, Blowing up Moms. "I want my Two Dollars". How to pick up trashy women. Testicles/tentacles. Skiing montage. Van Halen Claymation Hamburger.

It just dawned on me that there is no such thing as a top five for awesome 80's comedies. As I review my list, these movies have flooded my mind:
The Three Amigos
Fletch
Airplane
Breakfast Club
National Lampoon Movies
FERRIS BUELLER
Caddy Shack
Spaceballs

*Sigh. Why do movies suck these days? This is an open invitation to share your fondest memories of 80's cinema.

Bald like me.

2010-08-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

When I was 19, the first indication I ever had that I would one day be super bald was when my girl friend at the time gave me a super short hair cut and afterwords said, "I think your thinning out on top.". I scoffed at the time, sure that since my grandfather on my mother's side had always rocked a healthy head of hair, that I would as well. I was wrong. Apparently, the genes that I got from Big Steve, this guy:

were stronger than the others. Fortunately, I don't mind being bald. I never cared much about my hair when I had a lot of it, and I don't much miss it. There are times when I wouldn't mind, say, combing a wolverine style doo like I used to, but at least I don't have to comb it at all.

Baldness: not a problem. I've been told that my head handles the baldness well. That's good to hear.

So, who else is bald out there? Here's an incomplete list:
Jason Statham
Samuel L. Jackson
Michael Jordan
Michael Clark Duncan
Lex Luthor
Kojak
Bruce Willis
Bulls Eye
Mr. Magoo
Yul Brenner
Vin Disel
King Pin
Dr. Evil
Yoda
Patrick Stewart
Winston Churchill
Sean Connery
Billy Corgan
Steve Austin
Andre Augassi
Pac Man
Shaq
Montel Williams
Kyle Gas
Paul Shaffer
Moby
Hitman
Dragon Ball characters; Teeyen, Krillin, Piccolo, Freeza etc.
Michael Stipe
Damon Wayans
Charlie Brown
Ghandi
Turk from Scrubbs
All of the Ninja turtles
Mr. Clean
Jessie 'the body' Ventura
Stephen Covey
Pop-Eye
Ed Asner
And many more. Fill free to add those I don't remember.

Things and people the world would be better off without:

2010-07-29T15:54:00.000-07:00

Soap Operas
Indiana Jones 4

Michael Moore

Black licorice
Somali pirates
Jar Jar Binks
Male purses AKA Satchels
Hugo Chavez

Mosquitoes
The UofU Mascot Swoop (because it's gay)

AIDS
Obama
The View
Kenny Chesney

The Taliban
The Daredevil, Electra, Fantastic Four, and Second Punisher movies.

Skinny Jeans. Also, emo hipsters who wear cardigans and thick rimmed glasses and have delusions about how great their chosen music is.

Most Akon songs
Modern dance

Pedophiles
Clash of the Titans

The Harry Potter movies
Everything Twilight: Books, Movies, Merchandise
Especially that ugly fo they got to be Edward in the movies- Robert Pattinson

More to come

Check this:

2010-07-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

For a new segment to my blog, I have decided to try something unusual. I will have periodic posts called "See no evil", which will feature good songs with terrible music videos. This song by Queen is one of my favorites, and I like pretty much every remix of it ever. I even liked it in that Coke commercial. What I don't enjoy, is this video, which I found locked away on the hard-drive of a random computer in Peru. Why it was there I have no idea, but here it is for you to... enjoy.

I'm sooooo tired.

2010-07-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile.
I have been having a deuce of a time sleeping lately. I am actually sitting here at 10 AM and wishing fervently that I was sleeping. But I was laying in bed and I just couldn't. Maybe it's the fact that our AC doesn't work and that Malu sleeps with the windows closed when I'm not here making the house a comfortable eleventy billion degrees. Maybe it's the jackanapes mowing the lawn outside the bedroom window for the better part of an hour and a half (he obviously gets paid by the hour). Maybe its the fact that I slept 9 hours yesterday night for the first time in weeks (with the aide of some crappy sleeping pills.) Whatever it is, I am not a cheerful camper. I wish my job weren't so easy and didn't pay so well for doing absolutely nothing. Then I could justify quitting. The only downside- regular sleep deprivation- is quite a downside.

ANGER!!!

2010-06-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

This is what I feel towards the referee for the US-Slovenia game today. Why? well, here is the humorous article about him on Wikipedia that I found moments after the game:

"Koman Coulibaly (born 4 July 1970) is a Malian football referee who currently resides in Mali. He has been a full international referee for FIFA since 1999.

He was selected as a referee for the 2004 African Cup of Nations in Tunisia, the 2006 African Cup of Nations in Egypt, and the 2008 African Cup of Nations in Ghana.
Unbalanced scales.svg

**The neutrality of this article is disputed. Please see the discussion on the talk page. Please do not remove this message until the dispute is resolved.**
(Author interjection, the neutrality of this article as suspect as the neutrality of Koman in his officiating.)

He was preselected as a referee for the 2010 FIFA World Cup.[1] His officiating in the game between USA and Slovenia was roundly criticized by television commentators at the time. Coulibaly negated a late U.S. goal with an offsides call, which replays have shown to be inaccurate. The goal would have capped a US comeback from a 2-0 halftime deficit to Slovenia; instead the game ended in a 2-2 tie. Coulibaly is rumoured to hate the United States of America with the burning passion of a white hot sun.

Speaking on the game, Chris Moyles said: "I've just seen that disallowed goal for the US again - and not only was there no foul by a US player, there are probably two penalty-kick offences being committed by the Slovenian defenders. Shocking decision." Coulibaly's exploits have drawn comparisons to such sporting pariahs as Jim Joyce, Don Denkinger, Tim Donaghy, and even BP CEO Tony Heyward.

Koman even gave out a yellow card to Robbie Findlay (of the US) in the same game, after he was hit in the face with...the ball? Koman definetely stole the show in the US-Slovenia game."

He may have born on the Fourth of July, but he's no friend of Uncle Sam. Here are my thoughts on the matter:

There once was a man from Mali,
who was as dumb and blind as could be,
he hated the States,
so FIFA said, "Great!"
and then made him the damn referee.

World Cup...

2010-06-15T15:57:00.000-07:00

I was planning on writing a detailed analysis of all my thoughts and feelings about the great event that is the world cup. But then it dawned on me that most of the 3 people that read this don't really give a fig about the World Cup. So... Well. I guess I got nothing.

(GO USA!!!)

(... AND CHILE!!!)

Some R&R Fruitland style

2010-05-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

I like Fruitland. It's quiet, free laundry, homecooked meals, and sweeping landscapes. I took some snazzy pictures and am now putting my name on them so people don't rip off my photos. Check these out:

On a side note, my brother and I planted a garden, so there will be updates on how that is going.

My bucket list so far.

2010-05-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve posted. About a month actually. But hey, I felt like I needed a blog vacation. That’s right, I figured that I blogged up a storm in Peru, so I took time off.
High points of my time back: I’m back at Heritage making sure the at-risk youth of tomorrow are safe. Malu and I purchased a car. It’s a golden Kia Rio, which averages 30 miles to a gallon whom we named C-3PO. And we’re back in the dance group. That’s it.

I have recently been inspired by my friend Gluch to make a bucket list. His is pretty long. I’m going to see how far I get, and be warned, a few of these I made a while ago and have accomplished. So no worries.

1) Dance in the Candelaria and master at least one Peruvian folk dance.

2) Go to Spain (or whichever country) and get involved in the out-of-control tomato fight.

3) Actually get in shape enough to see some stomach muscles (six-pack action).

4) Walk the Incan Trail and see Machu Picchu.

5) Jump out of a plane and parachute.

6) Drive a 69 Corvette Stingray really fast (and own one if possible).

7) Ride in a helicopter.

8) Visit Hawaii, and drink Hawaiian Punch on the beach there.

9) Paint a large Star Wars Mural.

10) Film a funny video with at least 10 friends.

11) Photograph a cougar in the wild.

12) Visit the African Savanna.

13) Visit all 7 Continents (or five if you are from S. America… BAZING)

14) Learn how to break dance.

15) Have a child (or 4 if everything goes as I wish).

16) Serve a LDS mission.

17) Meet a famous person and act indifferent.

18) Walk on the Great Wall of China.

19) Learn another foreign language (Japanese?).

20) Participate in a Marathon or, if I become suicidal, an Ironman Triathlon.

21) Shoot a fully automatic weapon (AK-47 or M16 would do … or perhaps an Uzi).

22) Learn and master all of my mother’s Latin songs.

23) Attend a major Star Wars convention; with a complete and cool costume (I’m thinking Darth Maul because of the whole bald thing).

24) Perform in a musical (already done this, but I’m thinking in an actual theater company).

25) Drive across the USA.

26) Start a **NICE** living center for high functioning mentally handicapped folks where they could have minimal on site management and could lead a decently independent lifestyle.

27) Write and record an album of guitar songs with at least 10 tracks.

28) Learn a cool trick on a snowboard (some kind of 360 or flip at least).

29) Attend a MASSIVE rave (with minimum homosexuals … and therein lies the challenge I suppose.)

30) Take a strobe picture of a bullet going through a pop can filled with water.

31) Own a really nice custom made round table with a Risk board inlaid in different colored stone on the top. With this awesome board, I wand to take time lapse overhead pictures of a long and brutal six player game, then to be strung together with music to show.

32) Learn how to custom paint ‘hovering flames’.

33) One day restore to glory the purple Ford Power Stroke (preferably the same one that is now dead).

34) Visit Iguazu falls.

35) Check out the Grand Canyon.

36) Go backpacking/camping in Souther Utah.
37) Visit Madagascar.

38) Buy a Samoyda or Japanese Akita puppy and teach it to be awesome.

39) Write a book and get it published.

40) Get 20/20 vision without contacts or glasses.

41) Relearn how to do a gainer on a diving board.

42) Dominate the basics of various types of martial arts: Shotokan Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Brazilian Capaiera, Judo, Thai boxing.

43) Own a nice pool table and have a house large and nice enough to make it feel welcome.

44) Shoot 70 or under in 18 rounds of golf.

45) Golf on St. Andrews in Scotland.

46) Get good at soccer.

47) Visit the Philippines.

48) Visit Rome.

49) Run across Starvation bridge naked (strange I know, but many a friend and corruptor has done it and the reports are that it's a blast).

50) ....

I got nothing for 50. It'll come to me.

Until next.

PS> Here is a link to Gluch's Bucket list:
http://jgluch.blogspot.com/2010/01/100-things-to-put-on-resume.html

Friendship Test

2010-03-01T07:59:00.000-08:00

If you don't think this is at least somewhat amusing, we can no longer be friends.

What is up with Peru?¿?¿

2009-12-23T17:57:00.000-08:00

As I painstakingly type out this blog on a crazy keyboard, I can´t helo but ask myself,¨¨¿Why do they even need all these extra buttons?.¨ like this one: ñ. and this one: ¬ . And all the punctuation keys are scattered haphazardly around the keyboard. ç and that one.

anyway

WE made it to Peru. Just a quick note, if LA is anything like it´s airport, I hope it falls into the ocean. It´s crap tastic and ghetto and nutty. I felt like I´d already arrived in S America if you know what I mean... ç (couldn´t help myself).
That brings me to my next point. Colombia is hot. And the airport also is pretty ghetto. And I have reached a new level of hatred for lines. The only difference between airports in S. America and N. America is that people actually listen to and honor the boarding prioty of the flights. In S. America, as soon as the door opens, everyone surges forth to try and get in (like there´s not going to be enough room... dumb) which leaves the people who listen having to pull all kinds of shinanigans to fit carry-ons in pver head bins.
Anyway
Things that I saw my first day back, that made me chuckle and remember:
Crazy, CRAZY F¿çÑing driving.
Stray dogs, EVERYWHERE!
Lots of exhuast fumes.
VERY PUBLIC BREAST FEEDING... :)(just kidding)
Passed out drunk.
Ads on everything.
Porn all over.

And much much more. But to keep this short, I´ve been running all over since I got here. BYU won the Bowl game so I was happy, though bitter I didn´t see it. and there is one store that is like a wal mart here in this city of over a million people and we went there today. Bloody pandamonium. I´ve never doe the black friday thing, but I suppose this is what it would be like. Except for large green (that´s right, green) Santa Clause costumed dudes and this scary carney looking lady on stilts with a top hat and mask all tricked out in about 10 pounds of glitter. I will keep my adventures well chronicled, do not fear, and woon will be throwing pictures up.
Until later, I am going to eat some chocolate.

The ramble.

2009-12-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

Sorry for nothing written during November. Lets have a quick recap: Work, school, Thanksgiving, delicious apple crisp, Joe’s one year older, purchased a nice camera, more work, more school, and…. well, that’s pretty much it.

I’d like to say that I am all gung ho to finish the semester and study hard, but I am burned out. I can’t wait to beat a hasty path to Peru.

For those of you who don’t know, I am going to Peru for four months. My wife and I will fly out on the 20th. I will be receiving 13 credit hours for the things that I am going to be doing. There will also be the latin version of our wedding reception, which should be interesting. A few members of the Chilean family are planning on heading up. Recently there has been a reawakening of some friction between Peru and Chile due to a spy problem. You can read more about this by typing it into the search bar and looking for it (what, did you think I was going to put in a nice fancy hyperlink to make your incredibly easy media consumption experience even more effortless? … HA!) I can already foresee a little drinking ... maybe something crazy will occur. I hope not.

I am writing this at work, and it is 5:11 am. I find that at this hour, I feel like everything takes on a surreal quality and I feel like I am in a dream. Well, a really crappy dream in which my contacts are incredibly dry and I feel like I’m floating outside my own body. But as I sit here, I realize that I only have five more days left. I have worked longer here than anywhere else to date, more than a year straight and I am ready for a break. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great job and it has served me well; but I am tired of being tired. I hope I will be able to come back here when I return, as it is a great place to do homework.

If you need my input about the BYU v UofU football game, or any Mountain West football for that matter, click the Red/Blue football analysis link on the right.

Here’s a list of funny cartoons:
Family Guy, Simpsons, South Park, Robot Chicken, Boondocks, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, The Venture Brothers, Clone High, Daria, Spy Groove, Beevis and Butthead (funnyish), American Dad, The Brak Show and Space Ghost.

One word for every blogger friend:
Politicchic: Smug
Simsisms: Sharp
Joe: Occupied
Utefan: Slouch
Smasherdasher: Mechanic
The Wicked Rage: Con
Kittykat: Unbalanced
Smithfieldman: Overlooked

There is really nothing more to report.
I considered gracing you all with a poem or something, but even in my delirious state, I know that any poem I would write right now would be crap. So … Until next time?

Charity is fun. You should try it.

2009-10-27T12:32:00.000-07:00

Basically, life is good right now. The semester to be spent in Peru will not only be fun, but highly profitable academically. My work for the Universe is rife with perks and I don't mind the deadlines. Midterms went fairly smoothly.
Interesting things lately besides going to the drubbing we received from TCU.
1) Took Cheek and his friends out to see Ice Age 3 and gave them a dinner of lasagna and kool-aid.
This can be viewed below. Cheeks friends are named: Shane, Chuck and Servando. They are good guys and if you had ever been to Mesa Vista, you would understand that they appreciate every chance they have to get out for a while. I wish I had the money to start a high functioning living center somewhere in the valley. One day perhaps.
Another activity that I participated in was a benefit concert for Hannah Laursen, an awesome little girl who had a brain tumor.
The full story and a special audio slide show I made for them can be found at the following link:
http://universe.byu.edu/node/3384

For last nights performance, JR Richards was great and I especially liked the campfire acoustic style of the concert. Melody with Tyler Forsberg also did a great job. All in all, I was as impressed with the charity demonstrated by the community and musicians as I was with the steak and chicken dinner Malu and I were treated to as VIP guests. Neil Warner over at the Herald is a really good guy and I admire what he's doing. For more info about that, check this link out:
http://www.secondchancefoundationofutah.com/

In the following pictures, you can see Hannah, JR, Me, Malu, and the Dad (Craig), the Mom (Leigh)and the other sisters.

This one's for Big Steve.

2009-10-14T14:10:00.000-07:00

I wrote this for a class, but it is just soapbox enough to appeal to my dad, so here goes:

Obama’s Immigration Reform.

When a child hits another child, it doesn’t make sense to punish the aggressor. Unless of course, you live in the world of President Obama’s immigration reform.
In essence, Obama’s immigration reform policy consists of two parts: Punish companies who employ illegal immigrants, and provide a way for illegal immigrants to obtain citizenship. This was said by Obama on an ABC forum for the Democrat Primary in January 4, 2008.
A big question for everyone, but one the left must wake up to.
The biggest issue that many Americans have is this, “Why are we going to attack the foundational industries of our country while at the same time rewarding a large body of illegal immigrants whose very presence have damaged the economic security of the nation?” This question is equally distressing for people all across the political spectrum, particularly for those Latinos and Hispanics who previously supported President Obama and are now seeing potential places of employment turned against them by political witch hunting.
There is a superb example of this in the recent forces lay-off of 1,800 employees of the company American Apparel. Obama’s promise was to seek out and punish particularly those companies that abuse and exploit illegal immigrants, yet American Apparel is known for providing higher wages and even health benefits. In a column for the New York Times Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa called it “devastating
“A crackdown that forces 1,800 taxpaying would-be Americans into joblessness in a dismal economy is a law-enforcement victory only in the bitterest, narrowest sense’ “Villaraigosa said. “As a solution to the problem of unauthorized workers — 1,800 down, millions to go — it’s ludicrous.”
Oxmoronic Policies.
While defendants of the immigration actions may state that without potential jobs, there would be decreased incentive for illegal immigration and thus decreased numbers of illegal immigrants, they are living in a fantasy world. To state in one sentence that you plan to take someone’s job and in the next sentence promise citizenship and access to all of the social support programs that go with citizenship is stark insanity. Unless of course the desired end result is to have the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants transfer directly to poor, uneducated welfare recipients. It doesn’t take much stretch of imagination to see this being the case. How this is going to mitigate our country's already staggering problems with healthcare, unemployment and crime, is a mystery that only President Obama seems to understand.
Important system flaws to consider.
To emphasis the sheer inadequacy of the reform, Mitch Plowman, a man who works as a detailer for a Utah structural steel company has an interesting tale to relate.
Several months ago, the company for which he worked was raided by around 200 law enforcement personnel from various organizations such as ICE and the Sheriff’s Department.
“They rounded up all the migrant workers and were really unorganized and unprofessional,” Plowman said. “They even asked everyone who was an illegal worker to raise their hand.”
After removing 50 workers who were unable to produce papers at the time proving legal residence, the people who organized the raid released a gleaming statistic to the press that 50 illegal workers had been found at the company, seriously tarnishing the company’s public image.
But it gets more convoluted.
After reviewing the detained workers, it was found that all but five were legal to work. And the reform stumbled even further after this discovery.
“Instead of deporting the five like they were supposed too, they [the authorities] encouraged them to stay in the area and to get jobs so that they could testify against us… all because they had no case,” Plowman said. “The interesting thing is that the department that the state uses to check legality of workers is backed up about two years. We send off the paperwork, and then… nothing. And if we don’t hire them, then it becomes discrimination, so it’s a strange situation.”
Hmmm…
So in response to the question on whether we should punish vital industry for our economy and reward those that broke the law with citizenship, the answer is that we shouldn’t. The truth is that this reform policy is fractured and can only provide one result: millions of class B citizens that are spoon fed liberal rhetoric and who must desperately cling to and support Democratic Party influence to survive.
Hey, in this light, President Obama’s plan is genius… but not for American interests.

*Note, while Obama has not proposed any official policy to date, this was the course he recommended in his campaign rhetoric. On another note, high five for the Nobel Prize... psyche.

100 Songs you should get familiar with...

2009-09-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

100 songs that I really LOVE. Not ranked in order. This will give you an idea about how really messed up my musical tastes really are.
Here goes:
1) Sultans of Swing- Dire Straits
2) M79- Vampire Weekend
3) Nigga Nature-Tupac (Interesting side note, he was named after a famous Incan Tupac Amaru; his mom heard the name and gave it. Crazy. When I first got to my mission, there was the Tupac Park and I thought that for some reason they just really liked rap there)
4) Hit em High, Hit em Low- JT Money
5) Sierra Leone- Kanye West
6) D-I-E 4 Y-O-U – Family Force Five
7) Hey There Delilah- Plain White T’s
8) Cannonball- Damien Rice
9) Zombie Nation- Kernkraft
10) Tonight, Tonight- Smashing Pumkins
11) Album of the Year- The Good Life
12) Angels or Devils- Dishwalla
13) Dagostoni Tae (Mai ee Mai oo)- O-zone
14) Cabron- Red Hot Chili Peppers
15) While my Guitar Gently Weeps- George Harrison/Beatles
16) You Don’t Know Me- Ben Folds/Regina Spektor
17) Crazy- Gnarls Barkley
18) Burn One Down- Ben Harper
19) Flake- Jack Johnson
20) Boten Ana- Basshunter
21) I’m an Alchoholic- Xzibit
22) High Road- Fort Minor
23) Layla- Eric Clapton (and whatever his band was called)
24) My Name Is Jonas- Weezer (But lets be honest, I could take the next 10-15 slots and fill them with Weezer, same with Jack Johnson, and even Basshunter)
25) The Next Episode- Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg/Nate Dogg (I’m a sucker for anything that has Nate Dogg on it)
26) Killing Me Softly With His Song- The Fugees
27) Total Eclipse of the Heart- Bonnie Tyler (Especially the techno version.)
28) These Words- Natasha Bedingfield
29) Shut Up- Black Eyed Peas
30) Hey Baby Club Mix- Dj Otzi
31) One Fifty One Rum- Caribou Lou
32) Five Brothers- Marty Robbins
33) Asi Fue- Orishas
34) In the Shadows- The Rasmus
35) Bonita- Jarebe de Palo
36) California Dreaming- Mamas and the Papas (The techno version is really awesome aswell)
37) The Floor- Rooney
38) Walk Don’t Run- The Ventures
39) Bad Luck by Design- Brand New
40) Art is Hard- Cursive
41) Recluse- Cursive (I know, two from Cursive, but I can’t separate them)
42) Driftwood- Travis
43) SOS- Rihanna
44) With Eyes Closed- Kalai (If you don’t have Damien Rice and Kalai on your IPOD...you need to get it)
45) Lock and Key- Mason Pepper
46) Follow Through- Gavin Degraw
47) Won’t Back Down- Tom Petty
48) Hit em’ up Style- Blu Cantrell
49) I Believe in a thing Called Love- The Darkness
50) Solitary Man- Neil Diamond
51) Stayin Alive- Bee Gees
52) Disco Ball World- David Garza
53) Lake Pontchartrain- Ludo (Thanks Rage, this was a good snag, although I like their acoustic version better and don’t have it)
54) Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (a man after midnight)- ABBA ( I like Madonna’s rip off too but ABBA IS GREAT)
55) Otta Control- 50 Cent ( I LOVE 50, but my favorite string of vocals of his is one where he records to Eminem’s “Till I Collapse”; check that our)
56) Rap Game- G Unit/ D12
57) Man in Black- Jonny Cash (Or Folsom Prison, sorry, can’t hide my love for this guy. Also his cover of Hurt= Priceless)
58) Kalamazoo- Primus
59) No One- Alicia Keys
60) The City is at War- Cobra Starship
61) Time is Running Out- Muse (Honestly, my favorite band. Next thirty spots to them if I had to.)
62) Young and Proud- Ace of Base
63) Under Pressure- Queen (Can’t even begin with Queen, but suffice it to say they are great)
64) Runnin Scared- Roy Orbinson
65) El Condor Pasa- Huayanay (Or by Bamboo Peru, he’s awesome)
66) Intergalactic- Beastie Boys (Video Sabotage… We all love it)
67) Funks Your Brother- Fatboy Slim
68) Good Vibrations- Beach Boys
69) Moment of Clarity- Jay Z
70) Sound of Silence- Simon and Garfunkel
71) Cupid- Pistolita.
72) Llueve Sobre La Ciudad- Los Bunkers
73) Hospital Beds- Cold War Kids
74) In Keeping the Secrets of Middle Earth- Coheed and Cambria
75) La Camisa Negra- Juanes
76) Die Alone- Ingred Michelson
77) Time Running- Tegan and Sara
78) I Know You Want Me- Pitbull/ Calle Ocho
79) I Hope You Die- Bloodhound Gang (Love these guys)
80) Colorado Sunrise- 3OH3! (These Guys too. In fact, for Bloodhound Gang and 3OH3! I invented a genre of music for my Itunes, I call it: Electrocrunk)
81) Bowl of Oranges- Bright Eyes
82) Pa’ Bailar (Siempre Quiero Mas)- Julieta Venegas/ Bajofondo
83) Beautiful People- Marilyn Manson
84) Sweet Dreams/Get This Party Started (dance mix) – Busta Rhymes / Pink
85) Frijolero- Molotov
86) Brick in the Wall- Pink Floyd
87) In the End- Linkin Park (Lots of good stuff there, but no time or room)
88) Turn the Beat Around- Vickie Sue Robinson
89) Lets Go- Trick Daddy
90) Look What You’ve Done- Jet
91) Como Hago Ahora- Eddie Herrera
92) Don’t Stop Believing- Journey
93) Gangster’s Paradise- Coolio
94) Eleanor Rugby- Godhead (I love the Beatles version too, but this is good for anger)
95) Sway (techno version) - Pussycat Dolls (Spanish original is good also Micheal Buble’s version)
96) Authority Song- Jimmy Eat World
97) El Santo Grial- Mago De Oz (Heavy metal spaniards. There is a wicked riff that covers a Hungarian folk Song. Verdict: ROCK)
98) Baby Got Back- Sir Mix-a-Lot
99) Fools Rush In- Elvis Presley
100) They Don’t Really Care About Us- Michael Jackson

Wow. This is a good list. I could go to 500 easily enough I think. Surely 250 without too much difficulty. But I will stop now as I am sure you are bored with this thread. I would encourage all who read to pick your three faves FROM THIS LIST and post them as comments. I’d be interested to know.

I just ate beef stew.

2009-09-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

Yep. It's true. And I really enjoyed it. Washed it down with a glass of grape juice from concentrate, and ate some bread. Life is just too busy these days. I feel like I can't be my normal happy go lucky, carefree self. I am glad that one of my jobs is about toast. Although I have been barely showing up there at all since I started school. The dance group is probably not going to see much of us either from here on out. One because we are so busy, another because they are not so cool.
Classes.
17 credit hours. My most enjoyable class? Photojournalism. Time consuming? Newswriting. Most asinine class? Media Law. But that's mostly because the Professor is driving me bloody mad. She is annoying and entirely to clownish for my tastes. Plus I feel like I am a jury she is rambling to.
Bang. Too much fun. I think I am addicted to it. Last night I got some banging in and some super inappropriate comments. Asher was there, along with new guy Nick. And Michele and Alan and Malu of course. It was great, Asher even brought floats. For those of you who are unfamiliar with bang, it is a card game that is something like "Murder in the Dark" and the Old West. Good times.
Anywho, I need to get on with my duties, later.

http://dugoog1.byu.edu/search?q=jason+sweat&ud=1&sort=date%3AD%3AS%3Ad1&output=xml_no_dtd&oe=UTF-8&ie=UTF-8&client=default_frontend&proxystylesheet=default_frontend&go=

PS. Click the above link to check out what I have been up to at the DU for the last 3 weeks.

Moving: Oh how I hate thee.

2009-08-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

Well, there comes a time in every man’s life when he must pack up all his crap and move. Let’s just say that this sucks. Every one knows what I am talking about here. First you have to box up your stuff. This his were you realize that your mental projections of how much stuff you have was ridiculously short of reality. There are things like bathroom supplies and cleaning stuff and your clothes. Snowboards, electronics, furniture… Then you need a way to move it. In our case, an old purple power stroke that was resurrected after being dead for over two years to just barely make the move and then died again. Then you have to carry all you of your garbage in and out, out and in. Just a note, this is a bad time to fall out of a tree, which I did, and injure your lower back. This makes moving just that much worse. There is more to the story of course. After you move you things into the new apartment, it’s a long ordeal to place them in their respective areas. And then you find that BYU housing is OLD and CRAPPY and only provides one cable outlet by way of internet. Than you have to clean your old apartment. All of this can make life a drag for a few weeks. But hey, at least Now our house has less spiders.
Anyway, I work all the time, I dance on my spare time with Malu. That’s all I got.

28 de Julio= I wore a dress and danced in front of a lot of Peruvians

2009-08-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

Here is what we were up to on the 24th of July. Aside from dominating in the morning at volley ball and horse shoes at the Sweat family reunion, we went and danced at two places in Salt Lake. The Peruvian Independence day fell on a Tuesday and that was lame for all of the Peruvian people here so all of the celebrations went down on Pioneer Day. This video has all of our dances, but the first two we danced again at the second place and better. At about seven and a half minutes, you can see me in drag:). Honestly though, the dance is from Cuzco, called Turkuy. This dance has the skirt and such because the Peruvians somehow found out about the Spain/Turk conflicts and decided to implement some of the Turkish dance trappings to tick of the Spanish in Peru. -The enemy of my enemy is my friend- Anyway. Enjoy.

It's hot, and I have no AC.

2009-07-20T13:15:00.000-07:00

Last week:
Camping
New Job, Water Reclamation
Wake boarding
Peruvian dance practice
Lots of Driving.

The Funny pic is just to make this post less lame.

Clothes

2009-07-02T06:26:00.000-07:00

Today my wife got mad at me. This isn’t terribly uncommon, or surprising. I am juvenile and impossible most of the time. But, today she was mad at something that surprised me. Apparently, I am too practical. She told me that I dress like a bum, and that sometimes I am an embarrassing eyesore. Of course she didn’t put it like that, that is something I’d say, but that was the gist of it. I was disturbed at this thought, then determined to argue. Unfortunately, she is right. Politicchic will no doubt whole heartedly back this up. I was in denial for a while, but when we got back to our house, we went through all of my clothes and I have to admit, I’m a poorly dressed hobo. My two newest t-shirts Malu brought to me from Peru. Before that, two shirts that my sister sent to me on my mission. Oh, and one “Lucky to by Irish” shirt my brother gave me for Christmas. I’m not Irish. Where did all my clothes come from? Gifts, plays, yard sales, DI, and just random free ones. I have not bought a new shirt since the Oscar the Grouch and Slacker t-shirts that I bought when I was 14 or 15. I got some shorts from that time period as well. I bought a pair of pants at Mervyns (SP?) when it went under because they were cheap. My sister bought me a pair just because she felt as my wife does. Got a pair for Christmas from my mother. Tis a sad state. As I was explaining to Malu how I had aquired all of my clothes, and hats, I realized that I am a bum. I don’t care about clothes. I am happy not being naked, but I really don’t have a style, except scruffy. That’s a word for me. Scruffy. I have found clothes in apartments that I have moved into that I have kept because I like them. I have and use t-shirts that I got for being in plays when I was in 8th grade. Sad. I remember the Kenya Breweries t-shirt that my sister made me chuck because you could see through it. Also the Blue Nike t-shirt that was too big for me in seventh grade and finally met it’s demise after the mission looking like a holey muscle shirt. Or how about the green shants that were made of parachute nylon and finally ripped all the way up the backside? Or my tough green shants that I currently am wearing as I write this, though the fade and worn areas render them mostly tan? I get attached to my clothes and I’m cheap, that’s all I can say. Sorry. I really am. It’s just a tribute to my not really being concerned about other people’s perceptions. But alas, there is a person who’s perceptions I cannot ignore, and therefore: the light blue Nike hat, the Pink Floyd baseball T, the Oscar t-shirt, all the flannel, the Duchesne Eagle muscle shirt, the Music Man, the long sleeved red shirt, the slip on black shoes, the gray hat, the Old School Denver Broncos t-shirt, the green and white baseball T and other articles are all being discarded. Some will find their way to DI, some will become rags to clean with, and some will be tossed outright. This was sad for me. I thought Malu was going to have a seizure she was so pleased when she tossed my light blue Nike hat (One of the only 2 fitted hats I have ever bought in my life- the other one Steven stole). I loved that hat. It went golfing with me more than I can recall, and to concerts, and to Peru. Oh well. Maybe now I can become better dressed and more presentable. Maybe one day I will be a snappy dresser like unto, dare I say it, BEN JENSEN? I doubt it. In the last ten years, I have probably spent less than $250 for clothes. Not even Mason Jennings can make me feel better about losing some of my favorite clothes, who I am currently listening to. Next time I will talk of happier things, such as Peruvian dancing and the antics therein. But for now, I’m spilling out some of a proverbial 40 on the ground for my homies that didn’t make it.

These are tributes to my fondest childhood.

2009-06-15T22:51:00.000-07:00

Well, you maybe have too much spare time on your hands already. I assume this because you are blogging and lets face it, nobody is doing this as a number one priority item. So, I will not feel bad about recommending these videos for your viewing. The people in the video obviously had more free time than you do now...

You know a dude apartment.

2009-06-10T18:22:00.000-07:00

Here I sit with Quezada and I am waiting for Malu to get out of driving school. Also, I went to my old apartment While I am here, I noticed several things that make guy apartments dudely.
1) He cooked quesadillas in a pan that had obviously been used for something else, and not been washed. I consider it a tribute to my own dudeliness in that I didn't bat an eye at eating them.
2) There are no hand towels in dude bathrooms. You just have to dry your hands on their personal towels, which probably haven't been washed in months.
3) It is common to find a handful of napkins shoved in the toilet paper holder. Or no toilet paper at all.
4)A large pile of unwashed dishes.
5)A nicer TV than anything else in the apartment, usually with a few new gaming systems.
6) Empty pizza boxes.
7) Like six expired things in the fridge... and nothing else.
8) No warm fuzzy pictures on the wall and no catchy little handycrafts decorating stuff.
9) There is a fouton(sp?) somewhere in the place.
10) The floor is SCUZZY.

My last name.

2009-05-24T16:32:00.001-07:00

Just sitting here, wondering..., "What is the deal with latin people and my last name?" Today in church, Malu and I gave the opening and closing prayers. That was when I was reminded of this issue. Basically, it can be anything than what it is: sweet, shwek, shrek... etc. But never SWEAT. Hmmm. Any ideas?

My late night antics.

2009-05-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

Well... I am sure you have already noticed the slide show. I am growing by leaps and bound in my software exploration. Last night I figured out pretty much everything you see above in CS4 Photoshop. I love that program. It is sweet and there will be some more goods to come, I'll tell you what. The first was my rough attempt at figuring out how to recreate the IPOD ads. I thought those were pretty sweet and I have seen some good spoofs, so I figured I would find out if I could do it. Then I got excited and my second attempt with the peeps came out better. As far as the freaky elf looking thing goes, the Rage said it looked scary. And Malu thought they were frightening:). That's about all for now, I will soon be blogging again, about Big Steve, who is now stealthily perusing the blogosphere. His eyes are upon us, so be warned...

Texting.

2009-04-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

It has recently came to my attention that I am a sloppy texter. I discovered this because I always use the "word" function to have the cell phone auto complete my words to go faster. Unfortunately, when each key has three letters each, it makes for some accidental (and humorous), potential errors. Some are just annoying. For example: 'me' &'of'. Also: 'go'& 'in'. But recently, I have had some good ones. I sent a text to Joe saying that I had to call my wife. Unfortunately, that is the same key stroke pattern for 'ball'. Yesterday I sent Liberty a text to ask if she and Asher were going to be 'celebrating'. While I don't remember exactly how that one was messed up, I remember that it said something 'ing' and sounded dirty. And here's a good one that the Rage asked me. If anything had ever happened (I forget what) while 'eating' different people... when she meant to say 'dating'. I want to hear all of your funny text bloopers, so get to posting.

The moment.

2009-04-01T16:15:00.001-07:00

There is a moment, a moment we all know well, that I am about to describe. This is a moment that I am sure you’ve experienced, a moment that I can only describe as “the climax of impatience”. Now I know that our general run of the mill sleepmuch8 readers will be thinking dirty thoughts based solely on the imagery inspired by the word ‘climax’, but c’mon now, pull it together and focus with me for a second. This is the moment when you are in traffic and the light turns green but the #@#$er in front of you is dosing and doesn’t go. Or, when you are in a hurry and you are hitting all of the red lights. This is the feeling you get when you are reading a particularly crappy book (Twilight) and you just want it to end so you can say you finished one, gave it a fair shot, and still hate it. This is the precise moment when you are in church and a speaker (especially a testimony person that jumped up WAY after it was obvious that the current line was going to be cutting into your Sunday lunch/nap) is over time and weeping and showing no signs of stopping. I find my self chanting “in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!” over and over in my head in hopes that somehow the speaker will be overpowered by my intellect, repeat the words, and be forced to sit down. This also happened a lot on the mission with apostatizing bishops; you have a golden investigator losing desire to know more about the church because of the fools rant and you are powerless to stop it. This is the moment where you need to use the bathroom really bad in the theatre and the movie pretends to end about five times (I’m looking at you Return of the King… did we REALLY need to see the super gay –not that there’s anything wrong with that-hobbit pillow fight?) Or even Mama Mia, where the movie basically sucks and you just wish it would roll into its grave and die already (but there is a whole blog soon to come dedicated to how much I disliked that movie, so never fear, its crimes will not go unnoticed/unpunished). This is the moment where you are engaged in a discussion with someone (or you are being lectured by someone), and you just want them to shut the hell up so you can be on your way. This is the moment when you are waiting for the next shift to come on so you can be relieved, especially if they’re late (this can be really bad when you work grave). This is the moment that I will soon be experiencing, and one that I anticipate will suck, as it has thousands of times before. But there is light at the end of the tunnel friends, do not despair. The last Amen will be uttered, the light will turn green, the jerk will get out of your way, the book/movie will end, and the shift will end. This I promise you. But, you’d all better shape up because I firmly believe hell is driving to the theatre in heavy traffic to get to the huge line to see ‘Twilight’, the movie. Just thinking of that makes me shutter and desire to repent. Till next time, may your moments be brief.

Another post, the Great White Ninja

2009-03-26T22:08:00.001-07:00

Another blog. What to post? I am trying to put together posts with more substance, but I just can’t think of anything good. Does this mean that I am indeed substance less? Well if that’s the case… crap. Oh well. I am going to list a few major events that I think maybe have been neglected in the blog world:
1) Michele and Alan are getting hitched. I think that Consuelo will be able to tell people that the Lord really does answer prayers from here on out. The happy occasion is scheduled for April 24th or 25th? I can’t remember.
2) I was accepted into the print journalism program. Unfortunately I was screwed from the get go at the first meeting for the major. Basically, to do new media I was told that I should attend this spring and summer. That’s not going to work, namely because I am a poorly newly-wed and need to work. Fear not though, all will work out; it will just take me a year longer to graduate.
3) Shane moved. I guess that’s important to some.
4) I am thinking of double minoring in Spanish and Latin American Studies. (really taking risks with those.).
5) I just loaded Adobe C4 Master Suite on my computer, and am now realizing that I need how to use it.
6) BLA BLA BLA

All right, enough of that. I drew a ninja in Adobe Illustrator. Hopefully my skill will improve. Anywho, take care and I will try to post at least weekly from now on.

My car...DIFFICULT. The Haiku

2009-03-06T20:20:00.000-08:00

MY CAR THE TRIAL,
MAKES ME WISH I WASN'T POOR,
LOOKS LIKE A LONG ROAD.

For whom the bell tolls...

2009-02-03T15:16:00.000-08:00

Well, It happened. I thought I would avoid marriage for a long time after the mission (and told several people that I would), but Malu is just too damn cute. I am a happy guy and this picture would have been the most perfect picture ever if my head wasn't cut off. but that's ok, I am not the important part. Thanks Shane for snapping photos. Another lame thing, I got ZERO chocolate fountain goodness. Bummer. Thanks Michele and Rachael, you were right, the apartment would have been lame. Thanks all and later.

Dementally challenged.

2009-01-17T12:49:00.000-08:00

I hear that I never blog anything good these days. I also hear that I don’t blog hardly at all. This is all true, and I apologize. SO, to hearken back to the good old day, here we go.

First item of business:

Heroes… meh.
That’s right. I know that I follow this show and no others, but it is just getting silly. I liked first season. Second season was not so hot, and now this last one is just losing me. I know Shane can see no wrong in this series, but I disagree. I don’t want to delve into the whole thing, for those of you yet watching, but I think there are lots of parts where there is just crap thrown in for filler. Stuff out of nowhere that isn’t really needed. (Haitian and his brother part…wtf?). Also, when Seth Green gets involved delivering timely hope inspiring speeches, I just can’t take it seriously anymore.

Twilight… As gay as I feared it would be.
***Disclaimer*** Granted, this book wasn’t exactly written for me, the audience is adolescent girls and I think it plays to them perfectly.
That being said, I started reading book one and I must say, wow. Not ‘wow’ in a ‘oh, how cool!’, but ‘wow’ as in, ‘Oh Lord, O Lord, please give me my wasted life moments back’. If I hear one more description about how coldly beautiful what’s-his-name the teen vampire hunk is I am going to start loving men. That’s unfortunate on the proverbial eve of my heterosexual marriage. I think this book is stupid. Not just because it is a book about high-school-vampire-romance; but also because the bastard sparkles in the sun. I think it is kind of crappy writing as well. Lots of painful mental monologue by the heroine. Speaking of heroine, I think that consumption of such in vast quantities would be the only thing that could make this book bearable for me. I am sad that Stephanie Meyers disappointed me so, especially since she claims she listened to the great band The Muse while she wrote. I kind of hope not, because I love the Muse and I think if she managed to associate herself with them in my mind, they could only stand to go down a rung in my book. So how do you become a wealthy author in this day in age?, think of a way to bring little emo f-nuts, hot topic, and adolescent vampires together in one glorious suckfest.

Bests and Worst…
This should be extensive since it was my first complete year following my mission, but sadly, not so much. I can’t remember much about it. So instead of the typical movies, books, etc. I will throw out some goods and some not so good’s.
Goods:
Malu: Everything, especially the Peru Proposal Trip of June 08.
Discovering good new music, such as Diego’s Umbrella: I am actually considering buying their albums, I like them that much.
Funny youtube videos.
Getting good grades.
Paying 130 bucks to fix my ipod when it crapped on me.
Wicked burning people occasionally. Especially Asher in the with the hoe juggling comments: priceless.
Going to the gym.
Competing and doing well in my part of the Triathlon.
Running as Ramses in the Costume 5k.
Buying The Don (my car)
Living with good buddies: Joe, Smash, Scott…..I am sad that I moved out.
Not so goods:
Persistent damn wart on my pinky that just won’t die.
Nightwatch (if you have ever disturbed my slumber, this probably made your list as well).
All of the bureaucratic bull s*** that Malu and I had to go through and will continue to go through. (not to mention expenses)
Married housing searching. I HATE searching for housing.
My cell phone. It is a POS. If I ever get a new one, I shall hurl this one to the ground with glee.
Exhaust poisoning from the Samurai. Asher knows about that.

I am sure there is all kinds of stuff to add, but this is the kind of garbage that people dislike about my blog, so I will move on.

This is getting bloody long so I’m cutting it.

A voice from the grave....

2009-01-08T14:42:00.001-08:00

Folks,

Been a busy while. Malu got here, THANK GOODNESS. I hate our embassy. I have a new apartment, expensivish rent but hey, married housing. There is a welfare female cat named Fred here, looking at me through the window right now. There has been a crapload of snow, which sucks for my gutless car. The tires being bald means that I have to fight wherever I go and always wonder if I am on the verge of sliding into oncoming traffic. BYU choked in their bowl, surprise. Shane had a good year at least, damn Utes. At least they win. I got a 3.7 last semester, not too shabby. Had to buy books, which I hate. I am trying to decide who is more gay, the bookstore or the US embassy in Peru. Hmmm... It's a toss up. I have no dryer, so I hand dry my clothes. Wedding invitations is a pain in my A**. They have been done for two weeks but getting them to people is not fun.
I will blog something worthwhile in the future, but that's all I have for now.

This is the craziest thing I've ever seen...

2008-12-11T17:33:00.000-08:00

Nobody has seen my last blog, and if they have, they aren't going to dignify it with a response. Ok, I see how it is.
This video is nutty, watch the whole thing and DON'T skip ahead. It's about 8 minutes long but it's morbidly interesting.

Other than that.... well, I'd rather not talk about it.

Checking it twice...

2008-12-06T19:45:00.000-08:00

Peeps.
Today's post will seem retarded at first glance, but upon further examination.... well. Sorry. It's going to be retarded. Sorry. Anyway, I am putting up a feasible wish list for Christmas: I REALLY DON'T EXPECT ANYONE TO ACTUALLY GET ME ANYTHING. Seriously. I am just doing this in case somebody, maybe, MIGHT, want to but not know what to get. So here it is. I would appreciate it if you would all do the same: I'm looking at you politicchic and the rage and joe etc. Not saying I'll get you anything either, just want to know what is desired.
Here goes:

Guitar capo.

Jeans that aren't crappy.(I seem to have only deteriorating clothing).

A nice metrosexual button up shirt. (becauseI have a man crush on Ben J and I think I might be able to win him over if he didn't dress SO much snappier than me.)

Diego's Umbrella (a band I found. They have 2 albums, either one will do.)

Chocolate (Maxfields or Symphony are delish).

Food in general.

Mach 3 Razor Blades

Cool posters (Vader was Framed, it's a good one).

In the end, I am always happy with anything. Christmas gift receiving isn't a big deal to me, but I have had people say they didn't know what to get me. So if that's you(and it probably isn't), than here are some ideas. Last year politicchic got me a Sweet ninja book. That's cool too. I am easy to impress. So post your lists aswell and let everyone know what you think is good stuff.

Looking.

2008-11-26T15:44:00.000-08:00

My fellow Americans,

Is there anything wrong with the world that money can't solve? Sure. But hey, it helps. I am looking for housing right now, in addition to trying to figure out what to do with wedding invitations(I'm getting hitched in January in case you were out of the loop.), and in the last days of classes. Papers, finals, credit checks, applications, being with out my fiancee. That's about all that I have been up to.
And then we lost the game to the U, so that was splendid.
High point:I put a bunch of shiz on Shane the Douches lawn.
Low point:He gets the victory hat and I have to buy him dinner.

[Last work on that: May Hall, good job throwing the ball to them, I have heard excuses but after careful review, you aren't any good against a pressure defense. (TCU...yeah). I have never been on your bandwagon and it appears I never will be.]

So yeah. lame. Let's see. The year mark of being home has come and gone and I feel strange to think it was even that long ago. I never planned to be engaged to be married, but hey, when it's right, it's right. I really think that I will feel much better come mid-December. nothing else really to report, I am tired.

This is f'ing hilarious...

2008-11-04T17:19:00.000-08:00

Scott showed me this the other day. It was even more funny because Asher brought his "date" through the living room as it was playing. here you go:

More family shame...

2008-10-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

This is something...

2008-10-20T11:21:00.001-07:00

This video I found is really interesting. Don't ask me how I stumbled across it, but I did and I though it worth sharing.

Update on life> WE LOST TO TCU. That sucked, but hey, they played better in ever facet of the game and obviously wanted it more. Too bad. Watched a U game with Shane on Sat, lets just say that it looks like it will be a cold November. I think we can win, but it will be rough. I am hungry. I hate Asher, he brought home a bunch of delicious looking food from Duchesne, and I am fasting so I could just watch as Douche Bags Joe and Scott ate delightedly in front of me. That's it.

Nightwatching.... and my chafed nipples.

2008-10-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night I went to my monthly inservice as a nightwatch employee. It was at a chinese buffet, so I was all for it. I don't know why, but I always have to eat every kind of meat available. Pork, beef, chicken, shrimp, and fish are probably best consumed separately. But hey, I can't help myself. I am liking the night watch deal. I find that I can sleep at pretty much any time now, which is handy since I don't exactly have a regular sleep schedule. I do accomplish a lot at work homework-wise. I find that if I take nothing but my homework, I have nothing better to do and so out of boredom and to avoid falling asleep, I'll do it. The other day I worked with a fun crazy Korean lady who told me to F*** off several times during the night. I kicked her down in Wit and then we both got worked by this other guy in Risk.

Enough with the life summary. Ten things that irk me lately:
1)The kid who sits behind me in Spanish class who has a craptastic mexican/white guy accent who never shuts the hell up.
2)Old Ladies who buy craploads of junk in front of me and has tons of coupons when I am in a hurry and there is only one register open.
3)Nipple Band-aids (see below)
4)Midterms.
5)The pointless class that is Eng 312. What a piece of useless sh**.
6)Trying to find someone to dance Salsa with me who isn't terrible.
7)Cold weather and the lack of heating in our duplex.
8)The jack asses who "manage" our duplex... supposedly.
9)Rug burn that takes forever to heal.
10)Flaky people.

About the nipple band aids. Monday night was a 5k costume run in which Asher and I ran as Nacho Libre and Ramses (respectivly) and Michele ran as a adorable pig. I foolishly naired my chest before the race, and then couldn't participate without a t-shirt. I'll spare the details but lets just say that this resulted in blood and pain. So right now, I have two large band-aids covering my nipples. Wierd.

Sunday Morning...

2008-09-28T10:27:00.000-07:00

It's the sabbath and rather than being spiritually enlightened, I am screwing around on my computer watching nonsense on youtube. I actuall have a good deal of homework to do but... I do enjoy not doing it. I hate haveing church in the afternoon. The whole day just goes to pot. Anyway, I started a new job at Heritage School. It is a boarding school for at risk youth. Training has been fun and depressing at the same time. We have to watch all these videos about child molestation and addiction and phychological disorders, usually while we eat dinner. But other than that, going swell. Yesterday I was put on a unit with kids to see how it is. I was with two other staff guys named Conan and Casey. Conan is a guy that looks and acts just like Silent Bob. It's hilarious. The students... well. They are interesting to say the least. I think that they are all a little ridiculous, but that's just me. Silent Bob told me about a video that decribes them well. I call thier main disease the "emo-syndrome" The first video is hella long so only watch it when you have time, the second one is shorter and they are both hilarious.

And number two is good too:

There you have it. I am going to have to monitor these types for my job... yippee.

So.. BYU won.

2008-09-13T14:59:00.000-07:00

Well,

As I sit here in my sister's house, watching the UCLA vs BYU game on the tele, I realize that we are going to win. Most likely anyway. It is 59 to 0 with a quarter left to play. So now that I am thinking about football, I am going to assign a theme song to each team in the Mountain West conference.
So, starting with those I care about least:
1) San Diego State- "California" by Tupac
Basically, because they are from Cali and i hardly know jack about them. I know that when they have they're black uniforms with the red helmets, they look impressive. Aztecs? Well, I guess that "Trojans"- the cool sounding ancient civilization was already taken by another Cali team. Too bad.
2) Texas Christian University- "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum
Well, let us hope that they have a friend named Jesus, being Christian.
Horned frogs? Maybe one of the stranger animal mascots out there. Well heck, they are Texans, they can do what they want.
3) Colorado State University- "Rocky Mountain High" by John Denver
So they are situated in Ft. Collins, even though I am not entirely sure where that is, and I kind of dislike them. Probably because back in the day a few years ago they had a quarterback named "Van Pelt" who annoyed me a lot. I guess they deserve John Denver.Also, I associate rams with Dodges and I dislike them too.
4) University of New Mexico- "I feel Pretty" by ... Well, it's of of West Side Story.
I find New Mexico strange. The lobos, well, that sounds foreign AND intimidating.
5)University of Wyoming- "I wanna be a Cowboy" by Kid Rock
This is a good fit: the mascot, the attitude, about as classy as the aforementioned Kid Rock. I loved it when the coach flipped the douche Kyle Wittingham of the U the bird on national television.
6) University of Las Vegas- "Jonny Yuma" by Jonny Cash
Let's face it, that Jonny Yuma... he was a Rebel. I am not a huge fan of UNLV, I actually kind of hate them in Basketball. But that's neither here nor there. They are rebels, I guess.
7) Air Force Academy- "Let's Go" by Trick Daddy
There is certainly a lot of attitude and such coming off of these guys. I like thier precision and the fact that they frequently piss off the U of U. Falcons, well, thats a no brainer: they do fly, after all.
8) University of Utah- "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys
I like the U of U against pretty much everybody except BYU. That being said, they are douches. Seriously, most of thier fans are ignorant ace-wipes (I'm looking at you Shane), and will pull against BYU even when it hurts the conferance, or, even more illogically, the U of U itself. I picked Sabotage because they delight in screwing BYU out of good seasons by somehow winning when they shouldn't. The "Thunderbirds" (gotta be politically correct, even if it makes your school look gay) is a good fit for this school. Many of its students probably also suffer from identity complex, if not plain same gender attraction (i'm looking at you again, Shane). Anywho, gay mascot, crappy colors, and hey, just not my favorite area of the world come late November.
9) Brigham Young University- "Draggin the line" by Tommy James and the Shondells.
For what seems like the longest time, BYU has been shackled by lame BCS crap. I think the whole conference suffers this disease, especially the U of U. So I am throwing out this song as a tribute to what is done, that is to say, draggin the line. The cougars is a good mascot, nothing much to add there.

Anywho, there you have it. A sound victory for BYU and a sound victory for the conference. I think everyone represented well this weekend. Let's see what happens later on.

BACK TO PROVO....CATIVE!!!

2008-09-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

Well Folks,

The time is at hand for the house warming party. This is shortish notice but that's how we roll. Scott, Asher, Joe, and I are moving into a duplex and things are sweet.
So:
The party is at 7 ish at night on Friday Sept 5.
There will be some stuff to munch and drink, but bring stuff if you feel like it.
Our address is 462 West 1720 North.(left side of last duplex directly across the street from the Branbury apartments.)
Come and be ridiculous, because, hey. Why not.
ANYBODY can come, so invite whoever. (except you politichic, you are lame and granola).
Hope to see you there.

Time to get out of Dodge...

2008-08-23T08:12:00.000-07:00

Well,
Life has been decent in my quiet part of the world. I have been working my ace off at my two jobs and having a grand old time. The car is working out great, and so forth. Our fearsome team for the triathalon won the team time. Malu is alright and still cute. It other news, the summer is winding down and it's time to go back to the Y. I have mixed feeling about that, but in the end, I must. I dislike my schedule for this semester and it is going to be GAY trying to find a job to fit the class schedule. I hope I can find a good night job or something or I will be toast.
***Announcement Time***
OK, Asher, Scott, Joe, and I will be living in a duplex this semester (or so we hope), and we are going to try to have ourselves a little housewarming party. So when I figure our the details, be ready to romp on over and enjoy some good times.

Well, this blog is lame, sorry. But on a lighter note, I am soon to break out of the Basin. Fare ye well.

Una ranita loca....

2008-08-07T18:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it, I bought a car.

Why? well. If you have ever seen the Suzuki Samuri that I currently drive, you would know why. Is it sweet? Yes. Is it fast?... Not really. Fast enough. Is it sea foam green? Yes. Does it have a tiny 1.5 liter engine? Yes. So basically, I found the equivelant of the Samuri in 2 wheel drive and ten years newer. Miles? 120,000.

So that is that. Hope you are jealous. Some have said that it is like a ninja turtle (Michele) and that it should be named Donatello. Nope. It's name will come in its own due time. Took some pics that are above.

In other news, I am getting ready to run my part of the Triathalon. It should be good times. I just hope the fat guy who is swimming for us doesn't drown. Anywho, I just work and kick it these days, nobody really reads this anywho, so I guess it's all for journal purposes. Take care you few stalwarts.

Just a sweet Video. Darth cool

2008-07-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

2 Jobs, 2 X the Fun...

2008-07-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

Here I am folks, once again letting the world glimpse my thrilling life. for me, just work. That is it. I started my 2nd job last week at 2nd Nature, a wilderness program for at risk youth. At risk of what you ask? Maybe at risk of being little douche bags. Maybe at risk of catching my foot in their hind parts. Maybe at risk of just being out of control. But for whatever the reason, parents pay huge sums of money for an advanced theraputic baby sitter company. Thats where I come in. I am a transporter, basically, the name says it all. The "students" as we like to call them, cannot go anywhere without 2 adults to take them. So, I just ride from place to place or the other day, I sat in a hotel for 13 hours.(A girl was sick). Oddly enough, for this being a part time gig on my days off, I have pulled a 40 hour week there already. Fine by me, the work at my house for my parents is more rigorous than anything I do at either of my other jobs so the less time I spend here the better. Malu is doing cute, for those of you who care. Ah, ... My mother is a traveling lady these days. Over a week and I have only heard that she is bouncing from DC to Cedar City and around. I broke a riser for the wheel line, that sucks. I was ticked. hmm.... I went swimming in the lake and then ran 3 miles. I have been toying with the notion of entering the mini triathalon at the lake this year, but alas, I doubt I could train enough in time. I would certainly team up with two other people, so I'll see. Well, hope all is well for everyone, and I'll be posting. Pics of Peru will soon be on my facebook, so... Yeah.

2008-06-23T07:21:00.000-07:00

Wellm I didn't think I would be one to say this for a while yet, but I am officialy engaged. Crazy, but I am really glad to be so. I love Malu, so there you have it. I know a lot of you have mixed opinions, but in the end, it's my life and I must live it. I don't get too irritated by the peanut gallery, but I certainly don't really care what you all have to say. That being said, Peru was sweet times. I took a grundle of pics that I will slap on here. What can I say about Peru? Saw some old comps, saw a grundle of converts and gave them pics of the temple and Jesus.
Cool things I saw:
Cori Cancha in Cuzco, Ollantaytambo, Tambomachay, .... other cool ruins., the Weener temple (which is a farsh, but hilarious), Los Uros (which is the picture above).

I also got in a bus wreck, that's a good story for next time.

Anywho, it was good times and I am a happy guy. If you want to put me down or insult my intelligence, well, go for it. Anywho, I am sorry for the long delay, I worked 7 straight when I got back and when I was on a computer, I wasn't thinking about the blog. Not enough posts on the last one anyway.

Everybody sucks (except you of course)

2008-05-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

The geese have nothing to do with anything, just put those there because I took a picture of them and I'll be damned if it was in vain. Work is the same as ever, I like the lake. My bosses Mike and Al, are chill guys that make me laugh. Yesterday I spent 20 minutes watching a black widow stalk a small brown spider I put in her jar. It was seriously the most entertaining thing I saw that day. Sad, but true. In addition to the spider action, I went camping last weekend. Perfect spot. Too bad the water wasn't warm enough for swimming.

The real subject of my blog is that nobody seems to be in the swing of things anymore. I wait, but nothing from simsisms. Politic chic is dead and buried. Smithfieldman still goes on, but I doubt he reads mine anymore. Thre you have it. So I will go to Peru, and I plan on not updating this blog until 7 different people post. If you wish to hear nothing more, I make this easy for you: do nothing. Otherwise, let me know there is still a reason to keep this sucker alive.

5 Good quotes

2008-05-01T15:02:00.000-07:00

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserves neither liberty nor safety."

-Benjamin Franklin, 1759
(that one is for politic chic)

"There is no conflict between liberty and safety. We will have both or niether."
-Ramsey Clark
(I don't even know if this guy believes that but it's a good quote anyway)

"I hold it to be the inalianable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way."
-Robert Frost, 1935

"I place economy among the first and important virtues, and the public debt as the greatest of dangers. To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual dept. We must make our choice between economy and libery, or profusion and servitude. If we can prevent the govenment from wasting the labours of the people under the pretense of caring for them, ther will yet be happy.
-Thomas Jefferson

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it."
-Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

I liked these quotes and decided to put them up there for all to see. I sometimes feel that our greatest strengths as a country is becoming intertwined with a terrible pride that will drag us down more surely than other threat to the nation. Observing recent events and pondering on them all gives me a sad feeling and the nonchalance of the common man for things of eternal import is the root of it all. I have the same feeling reading the news as I do when I read the book of Ether or the the last parts of Alma or the book of Mormon in the Book of Mormon. One more quote that was quite prophetic:

"If we were directed from Washington when to sow and when to reap, we should all want bread."
Thomas Jefferson

The Facebook vice

2008-04-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

First off, I had a really long and sweet pos a couple of days ago, then I lost it.
So casically:
I moved home
I work at Starvation State Park again
I hate the wind
And I like homecooked food.
Now about facebook. FAcebook is an interesting thing. I find that it is handy to have. I was against FB for some time, and would never have one today if Jacob had better things to do with his time. You see, Jabob decided to make up an E-mail address for me so that he could set me up with a profile. Then I had a bunch of friends quickly and he pretended to be me for a few. But now, I have taken it over, so it is all good. The face boock things you recievea re officially my own great thoughts. I am not sure if I have anything else worth mentioning. SO until next.

Todo lo que vale...cuesta.

2008-04-19T12:36:00.000-07:00

Well,
Seems to me that finals are lame. I am now listening to one of my favorite Spanish bands, Los Bunkers. I think of them as somewhere in between the Bravery and the Killers. There we go, new topic is jut in.

Bands that I have found recently that I like:

Plain White T's
Blue October
Damien Rice
Ani Defranco
Micheal Buble
Cursive
Pistolitta
Bright Eyes
Nada Surf
Coheed and Cambria
Color Revolt
Evaline
The Fray
Frou Frou
Gavin DeGraw
The Good Life
Kalai
M. Ward
Mika
Cold War Kids
Cobra Starship
Neva Dinova
Two Gallants

Wow, the list is getting to long. Anywho, I there are a lot more. I will think of some more good stuff that I have been introduced to. Anywho, just so we are all in the same page, I am in love with a cute little Peruvian girl. I figure we all knew that, but just in case.

Final, I sucked it up on my Political Science final, but hey, at least I am going to pass the class. Going to review sessions galore just doesn't make up fo ra semester of neglect.
I just experimented with uploading a picture, lets hope that works. More to come another day.

Study?.... no.

2008-04-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

I jumped on Pandora today and somebody had forgotten to sign out. I have s.rex.johnson@gmail.com for introducing me to the station Air Tap!. It is nifty acoustic guitar instrumentals.
In other news, I went long boarding last night for the first time and it was fun. I had to push my board all the way up the Provo canyon trail and then ride back down though. It wouldn't have been so bad but I was swimming for about an hour and a half before hand. Also, I had tried to pull a calous off of my big toe and I made it bleed accidentally. Now I have a nasty hole in my toe. Mauren gave me some Spider Man band-aids and I'm all good. It was at night and good times.
The 3 hour tree tour was gay. I like trees and all, but that was a long hike.
I quit my job yesterday, no more tele-surveying for me.
Last day of classes, I barely got all of my junk in on time, as usual, and now there are just review sessions and finals till I am free.
I am in love. (Bet this gets feedback).
I can chew orbitz gum again and it doesn't affect me. Nice.
I had some good old fashioned male bonding times with Joe, Shane, and Asher. Saw Juno. "I want to punch that Beeker kid in the wiener". The dad was obviously the funniest.
That is all.

Nothing...

2008-04-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

I should post, yet I got nothing.
So in light of that, I will just ramble pointlessly. Now, I know that many of you are asking yourselves, "And how does this differ from the normal post?". To which I say,"....good point". Anyway, I think I want to do print journalism as a major and then maybe slide into law. It behooves me to do this major because 50% of the course hours necessary are just random classes, the likes of which I have already taken. I have been squandering my time and scholarship money in riduculous classes and the multicultural office here at the good ol' BYU don't think to highly of that. So Brad, (if you ever read this), clear a spot for me in Vegas in like three years maybe. Or actually, Freakishly tall, clear a spot for me in K-can. :)

My job is ridiculous, I don't even try anymore.

I am going golfing tommorrow.

I went to the gym twice yesterday, in the morning to run and lift and at night to swim. I think that eventually, I would like to do a triathalon. That sounds like more fun to me than a marathon, but I should probably try one of those as well.

Here is something sad: Leroy Gibbons, the coolest old guy, died a few days ago. I went to go visit him yesterday and knew things were not going to go as planned when I saw his special big recliner in the hallway. I feel bad because I haven't been able to see him for about three weeks and a few weeks ago when I last went he was in another room and occupied. Just a little about Leroy, he was in the MoTab for several years and also a Prof here at BYU. He has grandsons that released a church music cd calles Gibbons something... Anywho, he was involved in the Young Ambassadors program and lots of other groups and fundraising committees (SP?). He knew a whole bunch of people (especially church authorities), and had traveled to a grundle of countries. All in all, Leroy was a good guy and the Parkinsons/Diabetes was just too much for the poor old guy. He once gave me a frosty when I visited him and we sang hymns together and he listened to me play guitar.

Only one more big assignment and the final in my bastardly political science class.

That is about all the rambling that I or you can stand right now, so until new time.

Easter

2008-03-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

Seems like a friendly Easter Egg hunt isn't possible in the Sweat Shop. It was an all around competitive atmosphere this past weekend.
World Domination
Cold-Hearted Colonization
Asian Intrigue
Plant Busting
Eating
Napping
More Eating
More Napping
Cute Peruvian
Whispered Conversations in Conspirital Tones
Meaningful Glances
Hiding in Plain Sight
Shooting Cans
Color Confusion
Photo Albulms
And that is the rundown for the good times out in Fruitland.

Toast the 12 steps...

2008-03-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

I have decided not to do a 12 steps thing. I am too lazy. Lately, I went to a Linking Park concert, the Beardocrat came to the homestead, I filmed a black cow in a blizzard. I tricked the Rage into watching Silent Hill, that movie blows. It had one creepy part near the start and dropped off fast. 33 cents wasted. Anywho, I have a paper to write and I can't think of anything to write. But I am listening to Keane and it's good times.

Moving on up... and a lusterous head.

2008-03-07T11:36:00.000-08:00

New month and I am getting all kinds of technological advancements. First of all, I borrowed my bro Steven's hair trimmer and camcorder. Good times playing around with both, and I have filmed the process of bicking my head. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to put it on the computer and post it on this blog... but that will most likely not happen.
I also scored an IPOD (don't lecture me Michele)(you either Shane). I needed one pretty badly. Don't get me wrong, I love stuffing my diskman in my teal fannypack and making the rounds at the gym as much as the next guy, but there are just problems. Here are a few: CDs skip, batteries are lame to deal with, it looks gay, it is awkward and uncomfortable, CDs scratch, bla, bla. Basically, I wanted one for the same reasons everybody else has one: I want all my music transportable and easily accesible. Apart from the IPOD, I kind of accidentally got myself internet access by scoring a wireless internet USB dealio. I needed this because my windows expired... but that's another story.
I think I promised the 12 steps, but it will have to wait. Hmmm.... And I guess that is all the excitement. Michele is finally inroducing the "beardocrat" to the rents, so that promises to be an amusing post in the future.

Double duece...Dang.

2008-02-27T11:20:00.000-08:00

Well, here I be, one year more dwindled away.
I think that brithdays cease to be so important to a person after they have spend a few in another country surrounded by stangers. After realizing that it matters nil anywhere other than in your house, things are a lot easier to deal with. Anywho, on to more interesting topics.

Last week, I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Now before you all fly off the handle to buy me a drink, I didn't go bc I have any actual drinking problems, I went for sociology class. Lets just say that is was like a church for lunatics. It was on the second floor above a shady looking diner in a rather scummy part of town. There were strange posters on the wall and I learned all about the "12 steps". There was a book that I will think of as the AA Bible, and there was lots of testimony featuring F-bombs. I felt right at home, HAHA! Anyway, I was shocked to she younger women there. I figured the only people in AA were old weathered looking guys... like my uncles/cousins.

And one more thing to mull over in all of your equally exciting lives: Why are there people who always post comments on my blog but never put anything worthwhile or anything at all on their own blogs? These people are dispicable and I think it needs to stop. That is it, I am starting BA(Bloggers Anonymous) and I will post 12 steps to kick your crappy habits....
next time.

Asher is back...

2008-02-22T14:41:00.000-08:00

Well, my good buddy Asher made his triuphant return on Wednesday. He is my first buddy to return after me from a mission so I am stoked to get his perspective on how it went. That being said, I realize something: nobady cares about mission stories except for the person telling them. Really, it's sad, but true. I am very guilty of dipping into the bank of stories that begin, "When I was on my mission...." Anywho, I will listen to Asher because I love the kid and I don't find them as boring as most, as long as I get to sprinkle in a few lewd stories from my own corrupt mission.

Thoughts of a returning missionary that I had:

Holy crap the US is organized.

Wow, everybody is too fat or too skinny.

I am not funny anymore, and from what I hear, I never was.

I can't speak this damn language.

People are cold hearted.

I hope I still know how to drive.

I wonder what I am going to do with all of my spare time?"

Why do people watch such crappy shows and listen to such crappy music.

What are good shows, music, movies that I am oblivious to?

Why is my family so strange?

WTF?

Those are just a few of the thoughts that I had, I wonder if Asher is experiencing and of that. I hope not, that kid is much better than I and he probably has his stuff more together. Anywho, three cheers for Asher. ******** ********* ********* and a high five!

Task: Death in STAR WARS

2008-02-17T10:32:00.000-08:00

So... I saw a Simpsons the other day, it inspired me.
So... Now I will list all of the Star Wars deaths in order that I can remember. Just Episodes IV, V, & VI. Who gives a damn about the first three anyway?

A New Hope:

The rebel scum w/ his lame helment. Darth Vader kills him and the dude throws up his arms as he is flung. Also, a storm trooper or two.

Some Jawas; Then Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen

Ugly alien in bar. Can't remember his name; then Greedo.

Everybody on Alderran

Storm Trooper sweeper crew. Then some prison guard officers, and some more random storm troopers.

Obi-Wan Kenobi; More random storm troopers; Then four tie-fighter pilots.

Red 5, Red Leader, And a few other rebel pilots.

Grand Moff Tarkin and all the other suckas on the Death Star.

The Empire Strikes Back:

A Taum taum, and then the snow beast.

A probe droid; then Vader kills the Admiral that was a dumb A**

Dax, the gunner. Rebel scum, random storm troopers, an couple of AT-AT's.

An empirial officer in a hologram; than a few mynocks on the Falcon.

Vader kills Captain Nieder.

C-3PO gets blasted, but is fixed. A few more storm troopers die.

The Return Of the Jedi:

Tortured droid.

A Twilek love slave, than two Gammorean gaurds; Then another Gammorean.

The Raincore.

Random ugly alian henchmen.

Bobo Fett; Then Jabba the Hutt and everybody else on the sail barge.

Yoda passes away on Degobah.

Some random storm troopers on the forest moon of endor.

Some furry little E-Woks bite the dust.

The officer who says "You rebel scum" all snidelike gets killed with the rest of the storm troopers, and Han Solo kills the first one stylishly by throwing a thermal charge at him and knocking him over the edge.

Some imperial and rebel pilots die. The medical frigate gets blasted by the Death Star II, Admiral Ackbar decided to take on the Super Star Destroyer.

The Super Star Destroyer gets blown up by kamakasi rebel pilot, than plunges into the Death Star.

The emperor dies;and then Darth Vader/Anakin; and all the other suckas on the Death Star II.

Well, there you go. Right out of my memory has sprung this goodness. If I forgot somebody, dang. Anywho, that's all I got for this post.

QUESTION?

2008-02-11T16:37:00.000-08:00

Here is a question I was wondering about.

Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

This question was inspired upon viewing Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. You should all know what I am talking about.

I kid...I kid....

2008-02-09T00:52:00.000-08:00

All right, NO harem. People get all bent out of shape. Anywho, life with tests and papers, not so great. But other than that. I just keep on keepin on. Oh and as for the elections...Wow. I don't even know what to say. For president I think I am going to pencil in Mr Aycock, my high school computer class teacher. I think he'd do a good job. Also, I stabbed myself in the back of the throat with a straw, and it hurt a lot. I can't swallow so great now. Well, I am going to bed.

Snowboarding

2008-02-05T16:39:00.000-08:00

Things I love:
Snowboarding
Music
Reading
Golf
Working Out
My Family (even michele)
Empanadas
My brown Jumper
Lasagna
Driving
Slurpies
Cookies, Doughnuts, Brownies
Chile
Muscle Cars
Video Games
Funny Shows (family guy, arrested developement, sienfeld)
Finishing a project
My aunt's Apple Fritter
Playing Guitar
Being witty
Traveling
Veterans
Movies
And lots of other stuff

The reason I have been thinking of all these things is because my time is largely taken up with things I don't love. Things like:

School work
Telesurveys
...

Ok, so maybe I do have time for it all but I still dislike being beholden to the responsible life. Need money, must work. Need more money, must go to school. There you go. It's all about the Benjamins. To do what one loves, one usually requires money. Thats where the not so fun stuff comes into play. What a sick life we lead.

*** Some things that might be of intrest:
The Patriots are lame, and lost. HA
I ran into the infamous "ex" And I was civil. Nothing doing in a repeat of that event though.
I went snowboarding today and it was GREAT!
Pancake Party today at my sisters, we'll see how that goes.
The Guitar Store guy put on my strap peg for free.
I have a harem. :)
Midterms and papers, yet I blog.
Went to the Used Book Store... love that place.
There is a guy named Leroy Gibbons in a nursing home and he is awesome.
First Presidency is established, good deal.

Well, I guess need to do something constuctive. Crap

AND ANOTHER THING!

2008-01-30T11:33:00.000-08:00

I may have developed an allergic reaction to Orbitz gum. That blows because it is my favorite gum. I am no doctor, but every single time I chew a piece, the taste buds on the back of my tounge swell up and get nasty looking. Wierd

Too much?

2008-01-30T11:20:00.000-08:00

Well peeps,

I am now trying to decide why I decided to get a job when I am such a slacker. I really can do the things I need to, with the job, but I procrastinate like mad. I always seem to be putting someting off. My job is about lame, not too bad, just lame. I have recently been calling Texas about grocery stores. YAY! The funny thing is, I always speak with a Texan drawl on the phone with them. My sister is acting very Consueloish lately and I believe that she has cornered the "teaching moment" market. About the best thing is that my momish sister was kind enough to purchase me a gym membership to 24 (thanks, now I owe her my soul, I know). Unfortunatly I couldn't go Monday because the sweet ride got a flat. Turns out I ran over a screw somewhere. The saddness at having to go find a place to repair it paled in comparison to the death of GBH. (thanks Rage for taking a so/so evening and turning it into a crappy one.)

It occurs to me that my political science papers and such are just as disjointed, rambeling, and pointless as my blogs. That might explain the in over my head feeling I get every time I contemplate homework. Right now we are learning about theory. Theoretically speaking, I am not a fan. My professor is a carbon copy of the "Inconcievable!" guy on The Princess Bride. Life other than that is not too bad. Lucky for me, I can sponge of my sister (bet you she posts and wenches about all this)... (maybe not now just to contradict me.) Anywho, sorry Brad I am not the most frequent poster. I think it's just becauase you are the only one who reads it.

I guess I'm open...

2008-01-12T21:58:00.000-08:00

Things have been strange lately. I have lots of things to do like homework and a new craptastic job (ok, maybe it's not that bad), yet I continue to activly look for ways to waste time. I am blogging a lot again, I guess that is directly related to my time wasting. Anyway, two things I have done lately that I never thought I would. Country Western swing dancing and Dungeons and Dragons. Wow, there it is written... naked, and exposed to the judgmental public eye. Quite frankly, I don't much care. I had fun doing both so there you have it. And I will probably do either or both of them again in the future. So basically, I am having difficulties executing the line dancing, the cowboy cha cha, and all of the complex swing moves. It is fun though and I got to wear my western shirt that has all pearl buttons :). My D&D (that's right, I abbreviate) character is a half-elf monk. If that means anything to you, hats off. If not, that's cool too. Been swimming and ran on the indoor track a few times alone. And I have hung out with some girls that I knew before the mission, and it's just kind of odd. Perhaps that's because one of them had to help me push my crappy car started about four times... so yeah.

"The good times are killing me..."
-Modest Mouse

Challange accepted.

2008-01-09T14:58:00.000-08:00

Brad said I should do this, and so I will, consult his blog if it makes no sense.

Leaving Biology 100

Good times and long overdue.

Not really.... Whats a lot?

Yep

On my mission, got back almost 2 monthes ago.

Nope, too much money.

I don't drink.

Ashamingly enough, my ex-girlfriend. But in my defense it was largely theatrics and mostly accompanyment to her niagra falls. I felt some kind of wierd obligation to feel sad about being a dirtbag and crushing dreams...needless to say, I got over it.

My Biology professor, funny guy.

Ramen noodles, microwaved, and chicken flavored.

Glass of milk, with the aforementioned ramen. 2 slices of wheat bread as well, if you must know.

Went to a "Job interview/training" at a telesurveying place. Needless to say, they have a high turnover rate.

In my apartment.

On the beach, somewhere exotic.

A snowboard.

Addictive personality.

"Word im not going to miss this one Damn it" - Shane

20) I always miss somebody.

Swordfish

Go on campus for a meeting with my multicultural advisor, swim, more job evaluation.

Not so far.

Scott. Wanted to know if I was up for hot tubbing tonight. Except he said "tubing", but whatever. Sounds kind of dirty though.

Sometimes

It's coming

My sister

To my job interview.

On a mission, so it was actually winter (s america) and busy.

Nope

Nope

Mountain Dew in a can. But I don't drink much soda these days.

Me

Class

Thursday, no classes so not a bad day.

Want to nap.

Lots of people.

40) I am happier just without that particular hassle right now.

There you go, more time that could have been better spent reading material to pass exams frittered away on BS.

Back in the grind....

2008-01-08T11:38:00.000-08:00

When one returns to a way of life that was so great two years ago, it's a risk that it might not be as cool upon going back. It's like when you have a favorite childhood candy and it wasn't sold for a long time and when it comes back on the market, it just isn't as good. I am speaking of my fall back into the turbulant waters which are the BYU campus and Utah Valley life. I have been on a pretty sweet vacation for the last month and a half but twould appear that my free ride is at an end. I also have a funny situation with the vehicle.

*** THE SUZUKI SAMURI IS A PIECE OF SH*@ ***

That being said, it has died on me about 15 times in the last few outings and somebody ramdomly decided to break out the passenger window. Why? no idea, my theory is that people in SLC are unstable and more than a little retarded doesn't seem to cover it. Who knows, but at least my snowboard wasn't stolden, (it happened at night). Anywho, I have been hitting the gym a lot for those of you who care and my classes seem good times. I will update more often but here you are for now.

Down and around

2007-12-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

Today I got back from a nice littlel trip to S Utah during which I realized the following things:

I LOVE golf...(even though I am even worse than I used to be)

"Arrested Developement" is freaking funny

Joe scares me when he drives

I still love Cafe Rio

I still love Panda Express

Arby's is still ok

People can still be decent when they are married (not something I would try anytime soon though)

My sister has turned into a silly girl....good for her. (That last part is just in case "The Latin Fury" somehow finds and reads this)

I suck at updating blogs.

Theatre's are worth the money... and "I am Legend is decent"

Die Hard 4 is the most unbelievable movie I have seen in a LONG time...but I still like it. USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!

My cell phone is a piece of

CSI is a lame show

ALL OF THE CSI's, no matter what city

Don't argue with me

The Rage is fun to hold hands with, but even better with an uncle around

I am way behind in music

I am socially awkward, but still I couldn't be more concened

I shouldn't be allowed near lighsaber toys

I still love slurpies, and I can eat a big un

I can get shaves and haircuts where ever I might land

My sister can be super perverted in light of certain texts

C' MON!!!!

Well folks, I doubt that made much sense, but does it ever? Till next post, trim the hedges.